Thursday, May 18, 2006

Cheney Named New Border Chief

Vice President Cheney shows off New Border Patrol Uniform

Washington D.C (AP) - President Bush today named Vice President Dick Cheney to head the New Border Patrol. In an impromtu news conference at his Crawford, Texas ranch, President Bush and Vice President/NBP Head Cheney vowed to take "back our borders" with a massive show of force.

"I believe Dick Cheney to be the best choice for this position. After all, he's a crack shot with the rifle," Bush told reporters. The President said that although Mr. Cheney's horse experience is limited to the Indiana State Fair Pony rides (where he worked as a young boy), he would personally "show Dick the ropes of riding" in exchange for shooting lessons.

Mr. Cheney arrived at the press conference on horseback and modeled the new uniform that the New Border Patrol officers will don while on duty. "It's meant to be as non-threatening as possible to the illegal immigrant and will allow us to 'blend in with the scenery'," according to Cheney. Agents will patrol on horseback as well. "With the price of gas nowadays, it's cheaper to buy oats, and horses can get to many more places than a vehicle can." Cheney said.

Under the NAFTA trade agreement, the uniforms will be produced at Tijuana factories owned by Halliburton. "We hope that by having the uniforms manufactured in Mexico, it will create jobs and opportunities for Mexican citizens in their own country." President Bush mentioned in his speech.


Vicente Fox said...

Why is he wearing Bush's hat?

Capt. America said...

He's also wearing Bush's UNDERWEAR!

Mel Brooks said...

Yea, well he has Brownholes hat on.

Moon Phase