Friday, September 08, 2006
Anonymous Attacked at San Onofre
SAN ONOFRE (Rueters) - State Park Rangers were on the lookout for two unidentified men in a brazen daylight attack on Anonymous, age unknown.
Ranger spokesperson Bob Larsen, reported that the men attacked Anonymous as he/she was laying on the beach. While one of the men held him/her down, the other inserted a cellular phone up his/her rectum, as seen in the x-ray photo above. Emergency personnel were summoned and the victim was treated and transported to San Clemente General Hospital, where repeated attempts to dislodge the phone were unsuccessful as of press time.
"I've never seen anything quite like this," said Dr. Ralph, recently returned from a near-death experience where he was swallowed by an angry python. "I've tried every trick in the book. The only thing I can think to do is consult with Dr. Brownhole, who specializes in rectums."
Anyone with information is asked to notify the Park Rangers at the entrance kiosk.
Posted by puttzle at 11:34 AM