Friday, September 08, 2006

Anonymous Attacked at San Onofre


SAN ONOFRE (Rueters) - State Park Rangers were on the lookout for two unidentified men in a brazen daylight attack on Anonymous, age unknown.

Ranger spokesperson Bob Larsen, reported that the men attacked Anonymous as he/she was laying on the beach. While one of the men held him/her down, the other inserted a cellular phone up his/her rectum, as seen in the x-ray photo above. Emergency personnel were summoned and the victim was treated and transported to San Clemente General Hospital, where repeated attempts to dislodge the phone were unsuccessful as of press time.

"I've never seen anything quite like this," said Dr. Ralph, recently returned from a near-death experience where he was swallowed by an angry python. "I've tried every trick in the book. The only thing I can think to do is consult with Dr. Brownhole, who specializes in rectums."

Anyone with information is asked to notify the Park Rangers at the entrance kiosk.

12 comments:

Ma Bell said...

Whats freaky is if you really zoom in, you will see the Mayor's phone # on the screen!

Anonymous said...

This is unreal. Unless Mayor swallowed the dang thing, how'd it trapped in the digestive tract. Btw, that number's always busy.

Mini Mayor said...

The Mayor has a RED phone! And besides ,he has an undigested number!

Anonymous said...

Headline should have been:

PYTHON'S HUGE TURD ELECTED MAYOR

puttzle said...

The "huge turd" in the python is anonymous, it has NOTHING to do with the esteemed Mayor. It's all about anonymous, no matter how much you try to turn it around.

jack armstrong said...

san-o-daze, you fellows are like old time radio. thanks for keeping it real.

Anonymous said...

Read ur own post u putz.
The mayor returned from being swallowed -- "recently returned from a near-death experience where he was swallowed by an angry python."
He was 'returned' by being passed through the anus of the python.
A turd passes through the anus.
Ego, he's a turd.

puttzle said...

Au contraire, YOU reread the freakin post! DR. RALPH was swallowed by the python and returned from the near-death experience, not the esteemed Mayor! They are two different people.

Dr. Ralph said...

Thank you Unt.

puttzle said...

F%&king anonymous.

Anonymous said...

okay, they're both turds.

Nurse Ratchett said...

Was Dr. Brownhole able to get the phone out of your ass, anonymous?

Sounds like they transplanted your ass where your mouth was because all you talk is schitt.

Moon Phase