Monday, April 02, 2007

Dingo had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.

He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing. He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly... "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"

11 comments:

Sweet-N-Low said...

Anonymous, I believe somebody needs you assistance. Since you're going that way, mind giving the poor guy a scratch.
:)

Anecdotal said...

Husband and wife are in bed together.

She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.

She: "Oh, that feels good."

His hand moves to her breast.

She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."

His hand moves on to her thigh.

She: "Oh, baby, don't stop."

He stops.

She: "Why did you stop?"

He: "Found the remote."

Sweet-N-Low said...

I see someone has met my first husband...
:)

P.S. Of course that's why his name was changed about 13yrs ago to "The Ex-Husband" and I erased "stupid" from my forehead.

WORLD PEACE said...

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American
engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and
a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says
the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son
will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

Pooooof!

With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made
fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want an impenetrable wall
around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran with all believers of Mohammad
inside and all Jews, Americans, and other infidel forever outside our
precious state."

Pooooof!

Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall
around those countries..

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more
about this wall ". The Genie explain s, "Well, it's 5000 feet high,
500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries ........ it's
virtually impenetrable. Now what is your wish?"

The American engineer smiles and says, "Fill it with water."

Pooooof!

WORLD PEACE !

Sweet-N-Low said...

That was great!!!

I've heard that joke told many many different ways. That by far is the best rendition of it.

:)

BEEN THERE DONE THAT said...

sWEET&lOW, YOU GOTS TO BE KIDDING.

dennis dowden esq. said...

That been there, done that, is my Trademark. Hands of, or we go to litgation.

Sweet-N-Low said...

If you've got a better one, let me hear it.

Maybe I've just led a sheltered life. Living with 3 over protective brothers and a single father. Watching every move I made, every minute of the day. Oh who am I kidding, I'm writing it and can't keep a straight face.

I did what I wanted, when I wanted and with whom ever I wanted.
:)

deputy minister said...

i have a better one, S&L, a Rabbi, Priest, and Minister,
oh well, you know the rest.

unknown subscriber said...

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

RIVERSIDE PICKERS said...

WELL, WE CAN DO BOTH, WE CAN PICK OUR NOSE, AND WE ALWAYS PICK OUR FRIEND'S NOSE.

Moon Phase