Eddie, you and Barney are correct. Tubesteak is going back to 'da Bu. He predicted this, and he was right as usual. You saw Tuesday's Diary, well he saw it coming.
Never, ever, believe anything ypu read and only half of what you see. SAN ONOFRE IS NOT SHUT DOWN! It is so wide open you could drive a Mack truck into it.
I just spoke to the ranger and life gaurds Sano is open. The Gathering of the Tribes is 100% a go. The club is raising funds to stop the toll road and other local charities. Why would you want to put a negative spin on that???????
I was concerned about the contest this weekend so I went to the OFFICIAL Doheny Longboard Surfing Association site and thinking that there would be an update about the contest on the discussion board, instead I find this from May 16, 2007: Mark Calkins - an Alien inside a Human body? You Decide. near the top of the discussion list. Looking elsewhere on the site, there does not appear to be any update about the contest, just the prior notice that it was scheduled for this weekend. Probably the best thing to do is check their site often as the weekend approaches. The contact info from the site only gives a mailing address, but I will try to get more.
Mark Calkins - an Alien inside a Human body? You Decide.
His perfectly coiffed hair with natural looking waves. Hair that apprears the same always. Only a hair helmet would do the same thing. = Alien
Rides a board that is shaped like it is from Mars. = Alien
Alternating programmed moods. Calm and Happy in the water. Nervous and occupied on land. Always. Never deviates. = Alien
Has tiny feet for a man, er being of his stature. = Alien
Flying saucers tormenting his newly purchased home in MV. Mark related this story to me. The mother ship dropping Mark off. = Alien
The Mark we know is the alien infected human that used to be Mark Calkins. He only eats Mexican food. Beans must be required for his species metabolism. = Alien
Mark curiously morphs to a being holding a microphone at any meeting. The electronics in a mic must call to his inhuman brain = Alien
Suddenly appears when there is free food. Unfindable when the food costs money. The Mark we now knows does not unerstand the monetary system. = Alien
Seems to walk by floating a inch off the ground. Flatulence provides propulsion. = Alien
Requires recharging. Note outlet on back of his mishapen, alien filled cranium. = Alien
Seen moving erratically after stalking around cars parked on the opposite side of the road at SanO. Must be licking paint = Alien
Lastly - friends with a certain Scott in HB. Scott already uncovered as a space and time traveller. Possible outerspace explorations already completed, some planned in the near future. Mind melding, I mean mind melting observed. = Aliens
Why am I scared of San O? I too have witnessed the phenomenon you refer to Mr Cushman. Once I was pulling up to San O as Alien Calkins was peeling off his wetsuit. Somehow it stuck to his fake outerlayer of Mark skin. A skin suit as you will...and his head and upper torso were revealed as the fake human suit slid from it's usual perch. Most troubing, was the hair. Yes! When the suit slid off...his hair helmet fell to the ground but did not hit. It levitated 2 inches above. reason? I beleive his hair helmet must not be soiled by dirt. Probably some Alien thing. Anyway...beneith his fake Mark skin he looked just like Richard Nixon...and he gave me the peace sign. Needless to say I am afraid now and each time he paddles out at the point I leave the water. Re the food thing...I find if I keep a breakfast burito handy as an offering it usually distracts him when her tries to suck my brain through my thumb. Mmmm!
Look, the DLSA isn't going to cancel the tribal contest just because of rain or beach closure. Well, okay, postponed because of rain, but the thing to do is simply check with them if you are interested in getting the striaght story. There's no way to know who is posting here whether they claim something is on or off or who they are. Their site says the contest is on for this weekend. Check it for updates if you are concerned.
Does anyone know if there is a webcam at San Onofre?
THIS IS BOBBY K. AND I AM SHOUTING!!!! I am an officer of the Doheny Longboard Surfing Association and I am STATING that the Tribes Contest is ON... And whoever is running this hoax is flirting with LEGAL ACTION if it does not STOP NOW!!! Signed PISSED OFF.....
Now that I have setteled down a bit, I will stop shouting. This contest is raising money to help the stopping of the Toll-Road from being put in our back yards, so why would you want to sabitage funding to help stop it. Can't we all just get along? We all have a common goal to stop the Toll-Road, so help by stopping all the lies and come down and support our efforts to reach this common goal...Signed Bobby K.
A threat of legal action from a club that on it's own website's discussion board says that another board member is an alien powered by the flatulence of Mexican food? Am I supposed to take you seriously?
Dude, you are violating the writer's strike by trying to write a comedy sketch for Boston Legal. You have no case.
Seriously, get a life.
And if attendance drops, you better be able to bring witnesses that said they didn't go to your contest for only one reason, they read here at San-O Daze that your contest was cancelled, but somehow they didn't read the part where a link to your website was posted, the part of your website that has a phone number to call for contest info, multiple suggestions to check your website and to call your contest director's number (from the website), etc. And they didn't miss it because the contest was already postponed because of the rain last weekend.
And my lawyer is Sydney Carton, Esq., . . . so bugger off.
THIS IS BOBBY K. AND I AM REALLY SHOUTING NOW!!!! I am an officer of the Doheny Longboard Surfing Association and I am STATING that the Tribes Contest is ON... And whoever is running this hoax is flirting with LEGAL ACTION if it does not STOP NOW!!! Signed PISSED OFF.....
Listen, if you are really from the DLSA and an officier, then post your phone number or at least the phone number for the contact person for the Tribe Surfing Event.
The phone number is on your website for contact about the contest. I do not post it for you here, although a link to the site was already posted, because you probably aren't who you say you are.
Oh, and get a last name, bobby, if you want to be taken seriously.
Anytime you want to disprove those alien claims about you posted on the discussion board on the DLSA official site, give me a call and we'll get it taken care of.
I plan on soon being a lawyer for SIMA, the Snow & Ice Management Association. I am not like that jackass who posted here claiming to be real lawyer and accusing someone here of being a little pretend lawyer. You know the one. He claims to have SIMA as a client. To him I say, I am older, wiser, smarter, and biggeer than you, you little insect. How long have I been around? Let's figure it out this way, how many digits does you Bar number have, sonny? Okay, if its five, you pass part one. Now, is the first number lower than a 4? If not, then think about how long that menas I have been here before you, and how many times I've been to trial. I know what is viable and what is crap. Your legal analysis is crap, you young punk.
How sad. I remember fondly going there with the Dueslers, the only family we knew who had a key. Those fun times now can only be memories. How sad that this little piece of heaven was lost.
I heard that the beach will be private again. The club will be in control. However, if you were not a member in '73, you ain't gonna be a member now.
ReplyDeleteIt's about time. Good riddence to bad rubbish. This is going to squash the Paskowitz Family movie about their early years at Old 'Nofre.
ReplyDeleteIt is as Tubesteak UN-predicted.
ReplyDeleteWe are all coming back.
Thanks for keeping the road unpaved.
Sydney, you are the man with the camera!
ReplyDeleteYou should be up for a Pulitzer Prize for BREAKING NEWS!
Oh dear! How will Seymour earn a living?
ReplyDeleteWe shall overcome.
ReplyDeleteI guess we'll take the Hummer up to Huntington this weekend.
ReplyDeleteEddie, you and Barney are correct. Tubesteak is going back to 'da Bu. He predicted this, and he was right as usual. You saw Tuesday's Diary, well he saw it coming.
ReplyDeleteThis is the sadist day of my life, honestly, we'll have nowhere to go.
ReplyDeleteWell now that it's closed, lets hope they get that toll road built as soon as possible!
ReplyDeleteLos Angeles Times article
ReplyDeleteWe just bought our annual pass!
ReplyDeleteWhere do we go to get our money back?
Never, ever, believe anything ypu read and only half of what you see.
ReplyDeleteSAN ONOFRE IS NOT SHUT DOWN! It is so wide open you could drive a Mack truck into it.
Bullshit!
ReplyDeleteI went down there about an hour ago and was turned away by Maggie. The place is locked up. Maggie was smiling for the first time in almost 60 years!
Jeesoos Cristos!!! You clowns almost gave me the big one.
ReplyDeleteMurph's dad, nice try, but she's locked up tighter than a snare drum, like the sign says: she ain't gonna reopen ever.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Dingo!
ReplyDeleteI third that!
ReplyDeleteIt's true.
ReplyDeleteIt's closed.
It's awful.
Okay, I, too, just returned at 12:30 PM. She's shut down, alright.
ReplyDeleteThrow a few clowns in the shot and Putz has a new header for the blog!
ReplyDeleteIt's ture.
ReplyDeleteChannel 9 News just did a live report from the kiosk. Dave Lopez was broadcast live.
It's closed.
Tube knows.
ReplyDeleteThe tribe contest a the church this weekend has been terminated. See the Doheny club for refunds.
ReplyDeleteIt’s true. Video report here.
ReplyDeleteHA HA! ARNOLD'S AS FUCKED UP AS ME!
ReplyDeleteThis is Mark Calkins as far as DLSA knows the contest is a go. If this is a prank be a man and see me.
ReplyDeleteI thought that contest was up at Churches. Got a phone? Post some way to contact you.
ReplyDeleteI just spoke to the ranger and life gaurds Sano is open. The Gathering of the Tribes is 100% a go. The club is raising funds to stop the toll road and other local charities. Why would you want to put a negative spin on that???????
ReplyDeleteTHE CONTEST IS AT CHURCH AND THE RANGERS AND LIFE GAURDS WORK ALL OF THAT AREA
ReplyDeleteThat's what I heard, or maybe that's the opositie of what I heard, or maybe, no, was that a dream?
ReplyDeleteDo you have link to a site with official word that the contest is a go? I would appreciate that. Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteStop the toll road!
I was concerned about the contest this weekend so I went to the OFFICIAL Doheny Longboard Surfing Association site
ReplyDeleteand thinking that there would be an update about the contest on the discussion board, instead I find this from May 16, 2007: Mark Calkins - an Alien inside a Human body? You Decide.
near the top of the discussion list. Looking elsewhere on the site, there does not appear to be any update about the contest, just the prior notice that it was scheduled for this weekend. Probably the best thing to do is check their site often as the weekend approaches. The contact info from the site only gives a mailing address, but I will try to get more.
I just returned from the beach. I was there early, went surfing and they came and made us all leave then they closed the park.
ReplyDeleteHere’s the ACTUAL POST FROM THE ACTUAL DLSA DISCUSSION BOARD .
ReplyDeleteMay 16, 2007
Mark Calkins - an Alien inside a Human body? You Decide.
His perfectly coiffed hair with natural looking waves. Hair that apprears the same always. Only a hair helmet would do the same thing. = Alien
Rides a board that is shaped like it is from Mars. = Alien
Alternating programmed moods. Calm and Happy in the water. Nervous and occupied on land. Always. Never deviates. = Alien
Has tiny feet for a man, er being of his stature. = Alien
Flying saucers tormenting his newly purchased home in MV. Mark related this story to me. The mother ship dropping Mark off. = Alien
The Mark we know is the alien infected human that used to be Mark Calkins. He only eats Mexican food. Beans must be required for his species metabolism. = Alien
Mark curiously morphs to a being holding a microphone at any meeting. The electronics in a mic must call to his inhuman brain = Alien
Suddenly appears when there is free food. Unfindable when the food costs money. The Mark we now knows does not unerstand the monetary system. = Alien
Seems to walk by floating a inch off the ground. Flatulence provides propulsion. = Alien
Requires recharging. Note outlet on back of his mishapen, alien filled cranium. = Alien
Seen moving erratically after stalking around cars parked on the opposite side of the road at SanO. Must be licking paint = Alien
Lastly - friends with a certain Scott in HB. Scott already uncovered as a space and time traveller. Possible outerspace explorations already completed, some planned in the near future. Mind melding, I mean mind melting observed. = Aliens
Here’s one of the follow up posts to that one.
ReplyDeletepoppy - 02:04pm Jul 30, 2007
Why am I scared of San O? I too have witnessed the phenomenon you refer to Mr Cushman. Once I was pulling up to San O as Alien Calkins was peeling off his wetsuit. Somehow it stuck to his fake outerlayer of Mark skin. A skin suit as you will...and his head and upper torso were revealed as the fake human suit slid from it's usual perch. Most troubing, was the hair. Yes! When the suit slid off...his hair helmet fell to the ground but did not hit. It levitated 2 inches above. reason? I beleive his hair helmet must not be soiled by dirt. Probably some Alien thing. Anyway...beneith his fake Mark skin he looked just like Richard Nixon...and he gave me the peace sign. Needless to say I am afraid now and each time he paddles out at the point I leave the water. Re the food thing...I find if I keep a breakfast burito handy as an offering it usually distracts him when her tries to suck my brain through my thumb. Mmmm!
Look, the DLSA isn't going to cancel the tribal contest just because of rain or beach closure. Well, okay, postponed because of rain, but the thing to do is simply check with them if you are interested in getting the striaght story. There's no way to know who is posting here whether they claim something is on or off or who they are. Their site says the contest is on for this weekend. Check it for updates if you are concerned.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know if there is a webcam at San Onofre?
mc250c:
ReplyDeleteIt is discourteous to post in all capital letters as it indicates that you are shouting.
contact info, including a phone number, for the DLSA surf contest is here:
ReplyDeletehttp://dohosurf.org/events.html
THIS IS BOBBY K. AND I AM SHOUTING!!!! I am an officer of the Doheny Longboard Surfing Association and I am STATING that the Tribes Contest is ON... And whoever is running this hoax is flirting with LEGAL ACTION if it does not STOP NOW!!! Signed PISSED OFF.....
ReplyDeleteNow that I have setteled down a bit, I will stop shouting. This contest is raising money to help the stopping of the Toll-Road from being put in our back yards, so why would you want to sabitage funding to help stop it. Can't we all just get along? We all have a common goal to stop the Toll-Road, so help by stopping all the lies and come down and support our efforts to reach this common goal...Signed Bobby K.
ReplyDeleteContest? What contest? We doan need no stinkin' contest.
ReplyDeleteb.k.:
ReplyDeleteA threat of legal action from a club that on it's own website's discussion board says that another board member is an alien powered by the flatulence of Mexican food? Am I supposed to take you seriously?
Dude, you are violating the writer's strike by trying to write a comedy sketch for Boston Legal. You have no case.
Seriously, get a life.
And if attendance drops, you better be able to bring witnesses that said they didn't go to your contest for only one reason, they read here at San-O Daze that your contest was cancelled, but somehow they didn't read the part where a link to your website was posted, the part of your website that has a phone number to call for contest info, multiple suggestions to check your website and to call your contest director's number (from the website), etc. And they didn't miss it because the contest was already postponed because of the rain last weekend.
And my lawyer is Sydney Carton, Esq., . . . so bugger off.
That last blog really shows your mentality.....a big 0.....do you even have a brain or are you straight out of OZ.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS BOBBY K. AND I AM REALLY SHOUTING NOW!!!! I am an officer of the Doheny Longboard Surfing Association and I am STATING that the Tribes Contest is ON... And whoever is running this hoax is flirting with LEGAL ACTION if it does not STOP NOW!!! Signed PISSED OFF.....
ReplyDeleteOf coarse they have Legal Action...I am a lawyer also for SIMA, not like your little pretend lawyer......
ReplyDeleteWOW you can type other peoples words.... Very good now can you think too?
ReplyDeleteListen, if you are really from the DLSA and an officier, then post your phone number or at least the phone number for the contact person for the Tribe Surfing Event.
ReplyDeleteThe phone number is on your website for contact about the contest. I do not post it for you here, although a link to the site was already posted, because you probably aren't who you say you are.
Oh, and get a last name, bobby, if you want to be taken seriously.
Well gotta go.... So if you want you can play around with yourself on this blog thing by yourself.
ReplyDeleteOhhh, a lawyer for SIMA.
ReplyDeleteAh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! ! !
Tell me another one.
You're a riot.
Denny Crane ! ! ! ! ! !
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, the SIMA lawyer at the most recent meeting of his lawfirm. No, I don’t know which one he is. Does it matter?
ReplyDeleteHook, line, sinker, rod, reel and tackle box. Get your underwear out of the crack of your ass.
ReplyDeleteBrillant, but unintelliglbe, retort.
ReplyDeletei must remember to disconnect the wall heater in the garage.
ReplyDeleteFlirt with this, jackass.
ReplyDelete"7/06/2006 2:06 PM
ReplyDeleteChuck Darnell said...
Sydney Carton, Esq. would never photoshop a picture or make up such a story. He is above reproach."
"7/06/2006 2:25 PM
Mark Garagoes said...
Sydney is a lawyer. Therefore everything he prints and says would be the truth."
From the Pasadena Star news:
ReplyDeleteAt San Onofre, where every day there are hundreds of surfers using the site, there is often precisely one state employee on hand: the ranger in the ticket booth selling entrance to the park at at the already highly inflated cost of $10 a car. At the other beaches, there are occasionally a few lifeguards to be seen . . .
. . . Just don't threaten to shut down California's most accessible, most affordable recreational resources when the tiny cuts resulting wouldn't begin to foot the bill.
If I'm ever guilty, Syd's my man!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are all nuts. After 40 years at Sano, I went back to Doheny. Who the hell put in jetties and a harbor. Who let this happen.
ReplyDeleteYou da man, Syd!
ReplyDeleteWankers! He called them wankers! What? Is he from Jolly O' England?
ReplyDeletewell i just got back from state park HQ to get new pass but they no mas as of today no more annual passe$ it`s over
ReplyDeleteSano is closed down, Doheny has been ruined so I went to Salt Creek. What happened to the ol guy with the stick and tin can that collected my money.
ReplyDeleteMore of the straight poop:
ReplyDeleteRadio personality Bill Handle says San Onofre is closed,
more eyewitnesses denied admittance,
a paddle out at Beach Road in Capo Beach scheduled as a Missa pro defunctis for the closing of San Onofre,
morning news programs broadcasting the story.
IDOTS!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey, great to hear from you Mark!
ReplyDeleteAnytime you want to disprove those alien claims about you posted on the discussion board on the DLSA official site, give me a call and we'll get it taken care of.
I plan on soon being a lawyer for SIMA, the Snow & Ice Management Association. I am not like that jackass who posted here claiming to be real lawyer and accusing someone here of being a little pretend lawyer. You know the one. He claims to have SIMA as a client. To him I say, I am older, wiser, smarter, and biggeer than you, you little insect. How long have I been around? Let's figure it out this way, how many digits does you Bar number have, sonny? Okay, if its five, you pass part one. Now, is the first number lower than a 4? If not, then think about how long that menas I have been here before you, and how many times I've been to trial. I know what is viable and what is crap. Your legal analysis is crap, you young punk.
This was the funniest and farest reaching post of all time. People actually called me to see if the beach was closed!
ReplyDeleteThe best post ever!
ReplyDeleteHas it reopened?
ReplyDeleteHow sad. I remember fondly going there with the Dueslers, the only family we knew who had a key. Those fun times now can only be memories. How sad that this little piece of heaven was lost.
ReplyDelete