NOT AFFLIATED WITH THE SAN ONOFRE SURF/SURFING CLUB
Everyone, from time to time, experiences a nasty or messy bowel movement. The kind of dump where you feel like calling in the Hazmat team to handle the clean up. I was expecting something along these lines, maybe even some blood. I was prepared. I can handle gross, bloody messes. After all, with enough TP and some clean water everything ends up back to normal.
Well Nancy, I gots a huge, massive, crappola you wouldn't believe. A #4 Ls Siesta combination, the works. You honest to gawd could not believe it. I wanted to use the growler, but one of the kitchen help locked himself in. I don't know what to do.
Mark, I hear you. I was in there and he done did the same thing. His name is Pedro Jose Gurierrez-Lopez. He's no good. He knows you're out there, but he is defiant. He's the guy who makes the salad. He has chroonic diarrea but refuses to wsh his hands before returning to the chopping board.
I shit lava. Red. Hot. Glowing. Sulfurous lava.Had I possessed hemorrhoids at the time, they certainly could not have survived this onslaut. There were no grogans to speak of, just one long stream of Mexican pain gushing from my brutalized starfish like a conveyor belt out of Hell itself. As my eyebrows arched up in complete suprize at the level of pain being generated in my nether regions, my hands shot out and my fingernails dug ten long furrows in the roughly finished plywood walls.
Pedro, if it weren't for bad luck you wouldn;t have any luck at all. A tip: Chew your food before swallowing. Also, invest in a bottle of Pepto Bismo.
Just when things were looking up, Putzle drug this blog back into the gutter again.
Of course I did!
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