Oh boy! Now we got sea snakes at San Onofre. Thousands of the venomous creatures have migrated north with the warm water. They do bite and death is immanent.

The monsoonal flow has really made a mess of San Onofre. This is what it looks like every afternoon around 3pm. Giant SUV's stuck in the mud everywhere!

One of the negatives of the monsoonal flow is all of the mosquitos. San Onofre, of course, has it's own unique speices of giant mosquito capable of sucking up to a pint of blood in less then 10 seconds. These tennis ball sized skeeters come out every day at dusk and it sounds like thousands of little military helicopters buzzing around.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SAN-O DAZE

Please use sunscreen! This lady is only 27 years old and looks like she's 117! Don't let this happen to you. Use a SPF 75 or greater and if you can find that neon colored Zinka stuff from the 80's, use it. That is all.

This is what the tide pools looked like on monday morning. With so many coorperate parties and third world extravaganzas at San Onofre lately, tossing garbage on the beach has just become a way of life. This problem has been made worse by the firing of Deputy Larsen as trash pick up is no longer done by the state. This photo shows young Jose Gomez Ramirez-Orozco playing in the shorebreak.

PUTTZLE RIDES AGAIN!

If you look carefully, you can actually see Puttzle on a typical left at his new home break. They tried to take some photos of him riding from a "big day", but it's just too far out for even the best lens to pick up. Keep those pictures coming, Puttzle!

SATURDAY WAS SO CROWDED THAT......

How crowded was it? Well, I got to the beach early and it's a damn good thing I did! The beach was full by 6am with lines of cars stretching for miles. I decided to walk up the bluff and take a look. State officials said this was the biggest crowd ever with the usual line in the completely full turnaround with cars snaking down under the bridge, past the nuke plant, and into the campground. There was a second line of people trying to cut in line that stretched all the way to the freeway and onto the Basilone off ramp backing up traffic on I-5. Efforts to close the road failed as there were just too many people. Gate guard Don said the average wait to get in was 8 1/2 hours! While I was hiking back down the bluff, I noticed this couple who just abandoned their car and headed for the beach. I think that they thought that they were at trail 6.

This is how the beach looked form The Point to Dogpatch.

Akmed, Mohamad, and Habib took over whats left of the shack.

I walked on down in front of the nuclear plant and these guys were banging on drums and chanting something about Allah Akbar.

STAY AWAY FROM THE JELLYFISH!

This unfortuate soul decided to paddle out without a wetsuit---in San Onofre's jellyfish invested surf. These are just a few of the stings she sustained on her legs. We cannot show what happened to her face as it is just to hideous, even for this blog. The nature of the venom from this particular jellyfish sting prevents the wound from ever healing and produces continuous pain forever.

A bomb explode's in the swamp at Trestle's beneath the south bound I-5 freeway overpass! Terrorist leader Habib of a group calling themselfs PMS (Poor Misguided Surfers) hopes to instill fear by killing millions of Fairy Shrimp in the swamp. He was also quoted as saying "We are going to attack local Koi ponds as well"!

U.S. Navy Seal Team 1, moves in to protect the Point at San Onofre because of Terrorist threats to take over the SandBar.

The U.S. Marine Bomb Squad from camp Pendelton disarms roadside bomb at the Point at San Onofre.

OLD MANS SHACK BOMBED BY TERRORIST!

This was the scene early this morning as terrorist bombed the shack. Homeland security said that they came across the mexican boarder and fled back to mexico after the bombing. They got away with it as U.S. agents just thought that they were "illegal aliens" and were not allowed to touch them.

You want real? Here's real! This underwater shot taken near Dogpatch shows an entire surfer inside the mouth of a 20 foot Great white. We believe this was a student from one of the 18 different surf schools operating there. You can actually see his leash still attached to his ankle and surfboard. Beginners are a easy target for sharks as they have a tendancy to splash around alot and are quite often bleeding form numerous collisions with anything and everybody.

It must be summer! This horse was sliding a few at the point this afternoon. My camera settings were off and it came out black and white, but spectacular nonetheless.

There were some mighty big problems at the nuclear plant this morning. This 15 foot Great white swam up the intake pipe and caused a stir in the cooling tank. Here we see a Edison employee trying to figure out what to do. At last report the shark is still in there feasting on wayward sealions which also have swam up the intake chasing fish.

This poor fellow was enjoying a family picnic at the Hawaiian club area when the red tide deranged killer bees attacked. It looked like something out of an old Warner Brothers cartoon as this guy ran in circles with this huge swarm buzzing around his head. He finally dove into the water as did the bees. To add insult to injury, he landed on a nest of stingrays which promptly stung him and when the lifeguards were dragging him in, a portugese man-o-war wrapped itself around his genitals doing unspeakable dammage. He is expected to be released from the hospital sometime in 2007.

BEES ARE EVERYWHERE!

Another side effect of the warm weather is bees! Here is a swarm chewing off the blue paint from the picnic tables by the Hawaiian Surf Club. These, of course, are africanized killer bees with a touch of red tide toxins that make them much more aggressive then the normal killer bee.

The recent Red Tides have caused Genetic changes in many types of fish, as is the case with new the Bananafish found off San Onofre.

I was sitting on top of the bluffs this morning playing with Don's puppies when I hear some comotion out to sea. It's a good thing I have a telephoto lens as I snapped this picture of 8 or 10 orcas attacking and devouring a small fishing boat and all occupants. Scientist believe the red tide has affected them neurologically causing them to go mad and attack anything they see. This incident occured just off Old mans.

Gate guard Don's puppies are ready for adoption. Here is a photo of the pups killing and eating a skunk near the turn around area near where he parks his motorhome.

To say that Hal Dairywimple is pissed is an understatement! There must be something funny in the cigarettes at bathroom #4 as the locals snuck in early this morning and had their way with some paint from Laguna beach and the lifeguard tower. State CSI is still on the scene but as of yet, no one is talking. Investigaters believe that this could be in retaliation for the removal of the bamboo last year. The state has asked that if you have any information on this to either post it here or contact Hal Dairywimple at Ranger headquarters.

New sign on P.C.H. in Laguna Beach as you approach the BOOM BOOM ROOM!

Man! Thats the last time I eat THAT hot sauce on a bean burrito!

The state park system at San Onofre is getting serious about Hygiene.

Tow-in surfing has its ups and downs!

Due to the red tide and numerous reports of lower intestinal tract disturbances, the state has posted this sign at the kiosk. Since California is now more then 50% hispanic, all state signs, flyers and other printed matter are to be printed in spanish.

RATTLESNAKES INVADE SAN ONOFRE

While walking across the bluff this morning to check the surf I damn near got bit by this rattlesnake. In fact, as I looked around, there were dozens of them and all at least 6 feet long! According to the state biologist for the area, these snakes are congregating at San Onofre in part from the wet winter and the current heat wave. Their favorite food just happens to be ground squirrels, rabbits, and puppies, all in large supply. This particular speices of diamondback is quite territorial and will defend its area with a vengeance against any and all intruders. There is no antidote for this speices and once bitten, death will occur in seconds. Beachgoers are advised not pretend they're Steve Irwin and pick one up.

PIRANHA AT SAN ONOFRE!

Here is a photo I took looking up at some tourist on a boogie board. What I did'nt realize at the time was that the fish swimming by that I thought was a surf perch was actually a PIRANHA! There were hundreds of them out there! According to Scripps there is a highly aggressive salt water piranha that has been migrating north from the tropics and makes its fresh water relatives seem like pet goldfish. Surfers are advised to use caution if they have any open wounds and all those female types need to stay out of the water during that time of the month!

From The Mayors Office

Well San Zoonofre lived up to its name this morning. The south wind was on it first thing this morning, with a crowd you wouldn't believe. At 6:30 there was already 50 guys out at the Point. The swell has finally hit but, its lumpy,bumpy and blown out. There was a cry baby at the gate this morning in his tricked out Ford 4x4 van. He was parked in the dirt just to the left of the gate when M. in her motor home and J.&M. were behind her, then I pulled up behind them. When the line started to form down to the power plant entrance and Don-on-the-gate showed up this clown walks up to Don and asked if he gets to go in first because he was there first and Don told him he would have to get in line he started crying, but I was here first so I told him he may have been but he was illegaly parked in the dirt and the line forms in front of the gate so he storms back to his van and while hanging aright turn to go the the end of the line he almost hits Weenie-dog Don who was talking to J.&M. next to their motor home, then speeds down the road and down to the end of the line behind "Kemp-R-Rick" who decided to drive about 5 mpr down to Old Mans with this clown fuming behind him. This is going to be a fun summer at SanO. More later--------maybe

The secret spot at SanO known only to Puttzle, Dingo and the Mayor.

I was lucky enough to snap this photo of Sparky's Mom as she checked out Dingo who was taking pictures of Sparky on the reef at Old Mans.

While taking pictures of the StingRays, the Mayor snapped this photo of Sparky our resident White Shark cruising the SandBar.

A Bigfoot was seen walking the beach at DogPatch looking for handouts.

The Mayor took this photo yesterday at the SandBar. The StingRays are back.

From The Mayors Office

The Mayor got wet today for the first time in almost 3 months because of his torn tendon. It felt great to get wet and the reception in the water was very warm (so was the water). JB told me I could have Carte Blanc and he would give me any wave I wanted up until Aug. 15th because I was out of the water so long and missed so many waves (Thanks JB)! Glad to see Puttzles back on the Blog, I guess he couldn't stand all the days with a certain person not blogging. The red tide is almost gone from SanO but, with water temp rise the StingRays are back in numbers. Please take notice that the speed limit at SanO from the entrance all the way to roads end is now 15 MPR and posted. The Rangers have been going in early and watching everyone coming in and warning those who are speeding but , the warnings won't last long and then the tickets will start! Same thing with your dogs, they can't be on the beach and must be on a leash no longer than 6' in length and they must not be left unattended while you go surfing (this is a heavy ticket). I know this sounds like I'm preaching but, its only to make the day at SanO fun for everyone. Its a great place so please lets try to keep it that way. I know there's a few who feel rules do not apply to them but, what they do by not going by the rules is to ruin not only their day but someone else's as well. See you in the water. And for those of you who want to Kayak at Sano, please remember that the only place you can launch and ride your Kayak is at DogPatch at roads end. Thanks for listening and hope you liked our show. More later-------maybe

This photo shows a cold war era russian nuclear warhead that surfaced off San Onofre. It became dislodged from its resting place by a fishing trawler and floated to the surface. Military authorities are afraid to get near it as it could potentially wipe out the population of Orange county. They are hoping it drifts to Mexico and does not wash ashore here.

This is the only known photo of the old whaling pier after the great hurricane of 1900. The pier was located at what is now Old mans and there are still a few pilings left just south of the shack. San Onofre was considered the whaling capital of the west coast in the late 1800's.

Inspired by his love of the latino culture, Tubesteak proudly displays his new ride.

Sunday morning's minus tide revealed dozens of unexploded world war ll shells all over the reef at Old mans. Park rangers believe that an old ammunition ship sank off San Onofre during the war and is finally breaking apart. Each one of these weigh over 500 pounds and could level a city block. Beachgoers are urged to use caution when playing with these.

Andrew the recycler doing what he does best in Mexico on his new Schwinn Land Curiser.

Dingo pushing Fluffy away as he was shooting pictures of her brother Sparky at Old Mans this morning.

Sparky cruising the sand bar at San Onofre this morning.

Here is one that got away and still swims at San Onofre.

BREAKING NEWS!!

Here is a photo of the "dirty little secret" that the State parks don't want you to know. This undercover shot was taken at the maintenance yard on the access road. What you see are some of the thousands of man-eaters the state has been secretly fishing out of Old mans every night. They fear that if the public ever caught wind of this, all hell would break loose and revenues would drop. More to follow.....

I had my brand new disposable water proof camera to take some surf shots when this swam under my board. It was as long as my 10-6!!

Ever wonder where the Red Tide comes from?

From The Mayors Office

Its good to hear from Unt Puttzle. The surf sucked today with it being 2to3 this morning with the South wind blowing right off the bat. I was set to try my foot today but the wind bummed me out. Friday I hope I can get my foot wet, its only been 3 months since I've been wet. I wish Puttz was here to go in with me. There was a dead Sealion on the beach this morning, looks like Sparky and fluffy are back. More later--------maybe

Massive Beach Grave discovered at the Point at San Onofre. Dr. Ralph, Dingo and the Mayor are seen looking at the Ball of bones which they believe are students from the Pascobits surf school.

Boxer Mike Tyson says he wants to fight this mouse, but his manager says he may bite off more than he can chew!

Four legged chickens are now being raised for El Polo Loco.