Ron Chamberlain was surfing at 4 Doors today when a Great White shark began circling him. Luckily his faithful dog Murph swam out dragging his anchor leash and attacked and killed the shark. Happy birthday, Ron!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Baghdad TV
"Hit TV Shows in Iraq
'Husseinfeld'
'Mad About Everything'
'U.S. Military Secrets Revealed'
'Suddenly Sanctions'
'Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest'
'Matima Loves Chachi'
'Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs'
'Wheel of Fortune and Terror'
'Iraq''s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers'
'Achmed''s Creek'
'The Price is Right If Saddam Says It''s Right'
'M*U*S*T*A*S*H'
'Veronica''s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses'
'Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque'
'When Kurds Attack'
'Just Shoot Me'
'My Two Baghdads'
'Diagnosis Heresy'
'Everybody Loves Saddam Or He''ll Have Them Shot'
'Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things'
'Burka Baywatch'"
'Husseinfeld'
'Mad About Everything'
'U.S. Military Secrets Revealed'
'Suddenly Sanctions'
'Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest'
'Matima Loves Chachi'
'Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs'
'Wheel of Fortune and Terror'
'Iraq''s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers'
'Achmed''s Creek'
'The Price is Right If Saddam Says It''s Right'
'M*U*S*T*A*S*H'
'Veronica''s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses'
'Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque'
'When Kurds Attack'
'Just Shoot Me'
'My Two Baghdads'
'Diagnosis Heresy'
'Everybody Loves Saddam Or He''ll Have Them Shot'
'Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things'
'Burka Baywatch'"
Saturday, December 29, 2007
You might be a Redneck
"Redneck Driver's License Application"
Last name: ________________
First name (check appropriate box):
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks"
Last name: ________________
First name (check appropriate box):
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks"
Stranded
Puttzle, Dingo and the Mayor were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three people, each would get one wish.
Puttzle went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''
'Okay,'' replied the genie. And off he went.
Then Dingo went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''
And off he went.
The Mayor started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!''"
Puttzle went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''
'Okay,'' replied the genie. And off he went.
Then Dingo went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''
And off he went.
The Mayor started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!''"
just plain funny
"Why do Scotmen wear kilts?
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sound of zippers scares the sheep away."
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sound of zippers scares the sheep away."
A Helpful Man
"A Helpful Man"
A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.”
“But I'm not pregnant,” she says.
“Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says."
A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.”
“But I'm not pregnant,” she says.
“Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says."
Polar Bear Surf Fairy Princess 2007
She was a good sport, but found the water a little too cold. We are looking for another candidate for this New Year's Day - 2008 - event.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Pakistan: Al-Qaida killed Bhutto - Pakistan - msnbc.com
Pakistan: Al-Qaida killed Bhutto - Pakistan - msnbc.com: "Al-Qaida figure behind attack, Pakistan says
Government also reports Bhutto died of injuries from hitting her head"
Government also reports Bhutto died of injuries from hitting her head"
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Global Warming?
The ice packs on both ends of the earth have been growing larger according to Scientist's. So much for Global Warming! And it sure seems that these winter mornings are getting much colder at the beach than several years ago. Or are we wearing 4/3 wet suits with gloves, booties, and hoods, because we're getting wimpy! ( I know I am)
SAN-O DAZE: EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know but White people won't admit
1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not white. 3. Rap music is here to stay. 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny does not always equal sexy. 6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. 7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller. 8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5. 9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. 10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit
1. Hickeys are not attractive. 2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate. 3. Jesus is not a name for your son. 4. Your country flag is not a car decoration. 5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter. 6. 10 people to a car is considered too many. 7. 'Jump out and run' is not in any insurance policies. 8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. 9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family. 10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.
10 Truths white and Hispanic people know but Black people won't admit
1. O.J. did it. 2. Tupac is dead. 3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated. 4. Weddings should start on time. 5. Your pastor doesn't know everything. 6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. 7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, its a color. 8. Church does not require expensive clothes. 9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car...
1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not white. 3. Rap music is here to stay. 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny does not always equal sexy. 6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. 7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller. 8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5. 9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. 10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit
1. Hickeys are not attractive. 2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate. 3. Jesus is not a name for your son. 4. Your country flag is not a car decoration. 5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter. 6. 10 people to a car is considered too many. 7. 'Jump out and run' is not in any insurance policies. 8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. 9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family. 10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.
10 Truths white and Hispanic people know but Black people won't admit
1. O.J. did it. 2. Tupac is dead. 3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated. 4. Weddings should start on time. 5. Your pastor doesn't know everything. 6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. 7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, its a color. 8. Church does not require expensive clothes. 9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car...
Monday, December 24, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS
THE MAYOR WISHES YOU ALL A VERY
"MERRY CHRISTMAS"! Drive safe if you go anywhere over the HOLIDAYS.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS"! Drive safe if you go anywhere over the HOLIDAYS.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
NO GANGS
Some angered by South County gang injunctions in San Clemente.
There is a 2.2 mile area where known and suspected gang members hail. The angry ones are gang members and there families. Could it be they are just to ignorant to understand the injunctions? I live within that 2.2 miles and I for one applaud the injunctions.
Friday, December 21, 2007
THE SHORTEST DAY
| UTC date and time of solstices and equinoxes | ||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| year | Equinox Mar | Solstice June | Equinox Sept | Solstice Dec | ||||
| day | time | day | time | day | time | day | time | |
| 2002 | 20 | 19:16 | 21 | 13:24 | 23 | 04:55 | 22 | 01:14 |
| 2003 | 21 | 01:00 | 21 | 19:10 | 23 | 10:47 | 22 | 07:04 |
| 2004 | 20 | 06:49 | 21 | 00:57 | 22 | 16:30 | 21 | 12:42 |
| 2005 | 20 | 12:33 | 21 | 06:46 | 22 | 22:23 | 21 | 18:35 |
| 2006 | 20 | 18:26 | 21 | 12:26 | 23 | 04:03 | 22 | 00:22 |
| 2007 | 21 | 00:07 | 21 | 18:06 | 23 | 09:51 | 22 | 06:08 |
| 2008 | 20 | 05:48 | 20 | 23:59 | 22 | 15:44 | 21 | 12:04 |
| 2009 | 20 | 11:44 | 21 | 05:45 | 22 | 21:18 | 21 | 17:47 |
| 2010 | 20 | 17:32 | 21 | 11:28 | 23 | 03:09 | 21 | 23:38 |
| 2011 | 20 | 23:21 | 21 | 17:16 | 23 | 09:04 | 22 | 05:30 |
| 2012 | 20 | 05:14 | 20 | 23:09 | 22 | 14:49 | 21 | 11:11 |
| 2013 | 20 | 11:02 | 21 | 05:04 | 22 | 20:44 | 21 | 17:11 |
| 2014 | 20 | 16:57 | 21 | 10:51 | 23 | 02:29 | 21 | 23:03 |
Canada probes nasty Santa letters - Weird news- msnbc.com
Canada probes nasty Santa letters - Weird news- msnbc.com: "OTTAWA - Canada's post office and police are trying to track down a 'rogue elf' who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday.
The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.
'We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,' a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper."
The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.
'We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,' a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper."
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Guinea Pig, Smuinea Pig. You think you got problems Archy!
The stupid dog I adopted from the S.P.C.A. ain't right either. He got off his lease and ran to the park. By the time I huff and puff my back side up there behind him, he's already at it with a kid, who's dad starts yelling that I'm a child molester via canine proxy and the dog and me need to be registered as sex offenders! He starts hollering that he's going to hire Gloria Allred.
I tell him that it was an accident that he got off his leash and he says to me "Accident, Smaccident!" and takes a swing at me.
Breaking the news is worth a beer
Steve, Dingo, puttzle and the Mayor are surfing Old Man's when Steve suddenly is attacked and is killed instantly by a shark
After the coroner leaves with Steves body the Mayor volunteers to tell Steve's wife the terrible news. Some two hours later the Mayor returns to the Old Man's with a six-pack of beer under his arm.
Dingo ask's the Mayor, where did you get the six-pack?
The Mayor replied, Steves wife gave it to me.
What! You just told her that Steve was killed by a shark and she gave you a six-pack?
Well , before I broke the news I asked her if she was Steves widow. And, she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!
Sad thing is, Dingo, Puttzle and the Mayor were given tickets for drinking beer on the beach by Officer Doug.
After the coroner leaves with Steves body the Mayor volunteers to tell Steve's wife the terrible news. Some two hours later the Mayor returns to the Old Man's with a six-pack of beer under his arm.
Dingo ask's the Mayor, where did you get the six-pack?
The Mayor replied, Steves wife gave it to me.
What! You just told her that Steve was killed by a shark and she gave you a six-pack?
Well , before I broke the news I asked her if she was Steves widow. And, she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!
Sad thing is, Dingo, Puttzle and the Mayor were given tickets for drinking beer on the beach by Officer Doug.
last week my guinea pig was found dead
Now I realize why. This stupid dog I adopted from the S.P.C.A. aint right. The kids already love the dog, but we have a managerie of other animals loose on the property, does anyone want this dog?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It didn't hurt me or Tuesday Weld!
ROME (Reuters) - An Italian court has ruled that a couple could not name their son "Friday" and ordered that he instead be called Gregory.The parents registered him as Friday in the city hall and a priest even baptised him as Friday.
When the boy was about five months old, a city hall clerk brought the odd name to the attention of a tribunal, which informed the couple of an administrative norm which bars parents from giving "ridiculous or shameful" first names to children. (So "Ruby Tuesday" or "Joe Friday" would have been okay I guess!).
The tribunal said it believed the name would hinder him from developing "serene interpersonal relationships."
The family appealed but lost their case.
The appeals court ruled against Friday because it recalled the servile savage in Daniel Defoe's novel Robinson Crusoe and because superstitious Italians consider Friday an unlucky day. full story here.
SAN ONOFRE CLOSED!
Due to the recent string of shark attacks, Surf Beach will be closed until further notice. This poor fellow lost both legs yesterday at Old Mans.
Monday, December 17, 2007
PREPARE FOR BATTLE!
It's hard to believe that this goes on in the USA, much less the Capistrano Unified School District! Click here to find out more!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Moe Saves Man in Extreme attack
An injury was sustained at San Onofre today. An unknown type of large predator attacked "Colby K" At Old Mans, He was airlifted to the regional trauma center at Mssion Viejo where he underwent surgery to save his life, This is the 11th attack this season, the State Parks Dept. has been able contain all the news media exposure surrounding thses attacks, but we know better! Tell a friend about the dangers of surfing, especially at San Onofre.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Photo Shoot
Let's face it, going to any California traffic court is a pain. No one wants to waste their time at a place which makes you feel like you have no chance of winning. And that is EXACTLY what the courts wants you to think: it's far easier to pay the fine or take traffic school than to fight your ticket. In reality, they've set up the system, not for justice but for revenue, otherwise why would they make it so convenient to pay up?
Unfortunately, most drivers are completely unaware of their legal rights when they attend traffic court. That's why most unprepared drivers are quickly found guilty. Don't let this happen to you if you're holding a red light camera ticket! First of all, the photos are viewed by the private company that maintains the cameras,guilty looking photos are sent to local authorities. Alleged violators receive a citation in the mail, and must pay a hefty fine. This is unconstitutional, you have been denied the right to appear in front of your accuser.
No Tress Were Harmed In Making This Parade Float
Rather than cut down a tree for our parade float in my hometown this year, we built the tree out of some available aluminum. Just doing our part to keep it green.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
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Wednesday, December 05, 2007
You fools missed it!
Trail 6 was the spot this morning. While Nofre was victory at sea, Trails was going off!!!! Sorry you missed it.
Monday, December 03, 2007
A BIRD-IN-THE-HAND
Puttzle and Dr. Ralph show off their Red Tail Hawks. Unfortunatly, while hunting with the birds at "The Point", the birds got tangled in the prop of the wind vane. Services will be held later this week. The Mayor was heard complaining that the string around their legs was rapped up in the prop and took hours to remove.Sunday, December 02, 2007
MANY OF YOU KNOW DINGO BUT.......
WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW, IS DINGO HAS A TWIN BROTHER WHO HAS BEEN HAS BEEN INSTITUTIONALIZED SINCE HE WAS AGE 3 WITH ABNORMAL SCRAPHOBIAL DISORDER. IN A RECENT VISIT , HE APPEARED FOR A PHOTOGRAPH AND REQUESTED IN HONOR OF HIS BROTHER WE CALL HIM "BINGO". KEEP BINGO IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
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