Friday, February 06, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Floridian nabbed for public ménage a trois with plastic partners FEBRUARY 5--A Florida man was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted George Bartusek, 51, getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car, which was parked directly in front of a Publix store. Evidence photos (seen below and here) showing Bartusek's inanimate partners were provided to TSG by the Cape Coral Police Department. According to a police report, witnesses told cops that Bartusek was "performing activity to two different blow up dolls in his vehicle that was consistent with masturbation and other simulated sexual activity." He was also spotted "aggressively" kissing the dolls. When confronted by police, Bartusek said that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls." Bartusek, charged with breach of peace, was wearing shorts with a three-inch opening "in the crotch area." Of course, he "had no underwear on under the shorts," noted police. Bartusek is pictured at right in a Lee County Sheriff's Office mug shot. (4 pages)Join
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
KISS MY ASS
As far as I am concerned the Democrats can kiss my ass,
they absolutely have no balls.
The Republicans, they can't even find their ass.
What we need is a revolution with a third party to emerge.
The " TARP" money that is about to be appropriated is being pulled out of our ass.
That's right, we are the ones that are going to take the brunt of all of this.
Stand up now and do something. I want you to get mad as hell.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
CHALK ONE UP FOR MOM!
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate Jennifer was. Brian's mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking mother, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates".
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you"?
Brian said, "well , I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote.
DEAR MOM,
I'm not saying you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take the gravy ladle...but the fact remains that our silver gravy ladle has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Just checking...Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received an e-mail back from his mother that read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer, but the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Just checking...Love, Mom
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking mother, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates".
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you"?
Brian said, "well , I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote.
DEAR MOM,
I'm not saying you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take the gravy ladle...but the fact remains that our silver gravy ladle has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Just checking...Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received an e-mail back from his mother that read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer, but the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Just checking...Love, Mom
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
MICHAEL MOORE-FAT BASTARD
Shotzys weight reduction theory in a nut-shell. ask yourself these questions:
Do you eat when you're not hungry?
Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating?
Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?
Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to eat regularly like everyone else. After about six months of eating regularly like everyone else, you should be fine!
Do you eat when you're not hungry?
Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating?
Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?
Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to eat regularly like everyone else. After about six months of eating regularly like everyone else, you should be fine!
San-O Daze Seeks Bailout Funds
SAN CLEMENTE (BS) - The San-O Daze B.O.D. announced today his intention to seek funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP).
"Due to decreased revenue from ads and declining readership numbers, we are forced to apply for TARP funds to stay afloat", San-O Daze B.O.D. Puttzle said. "Without this funding, we will have to shut down".
San-O Daze, a no-frills blog about surfing, was founded by former Senator Al Gore in 1974 and is the oldest continuous surfing site on the internet. In it's heyday, over 6 million visitors accessed the site daily.
"We have tried everything we can think of to keep going, including bringing in additional contributors and changing our format, but none of that made it profitable", according to Puttzle.
Detractors point out that Puttzle has been indicted for embezzling funds from the company.
According to Sheriff Bob, lead investigator in the case, a former contributor known as "Popeye" is the likely culprit and charges against Puttzle should be dismissed later next week and an indictment handed down on Popeye.
"Due to decreased revenue from ads and declining readership numbers, we are forced to apply for TARP funds to stay afloat", San-O Daze B.O.D. Puttzle said. "Without this funding, we will have to shut down".
San-O Daze, a no-frills blog about surfing, was founded by former Senator Al Gore in 1974 and is the oldest continuous surfing site on the internet. In it's heyday, over 6 million visitors accessed the site daily.
"We have tried everything we can think of to keep going, including bringing in additional contributors and changing our format, but none of that made it profitable", according to Puttzle.
Detractors point out that Puttzle has been indicted for embezzling funds from the company.
According to Sheriff Bob, lead investigator in the case, a former contributor known as "Popeye" is the likely culprit and charges against Puttzle should be dismissed later next week and an indictment handed down on Popeye.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
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