Mother Nature

Is this an ordinary piece of wood , or did Mother Nature design something else into it?
You tell me.

What one sperm said to the other!

One sperm asked another "How far is it to the ovaries"?

The other sperm answered, "Relax, we just passed the tonsils"!

SanO Woody

Too many of those stand-up Laird Hamilton wannabee paddle guys on too few boards.

Now we know why he hasn't been at the beach. He's got some radio/golf gig back east!

This is a camel

Well Grumpy, this photo at least has a camel toe.

Oasis

There is no water here for the camel, but it is defiantly an oasis.

Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive

SAN ONOFRE (AP) - A woman at San Onofre, the famous surfing beach north of San Diego, crashed her car while giving her dog, Boingo, a driving lesson on what is described as the primitive dirt road, the San Clemente Press Telegram reported Monday.

No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said.

The woman, identified only be her surname, Addams , said her dog "was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive," according to the witness, who also was only identified by his surname, Murphy .

"She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the accelerator and brake," Murphy said. "They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car, driven, unfortunately for her, by an off duty ranger, identified only as "Ranger."

Murphy did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Ranger is reportedly seeking legal counsel to sue for repair costs.

Do you remember?

Lets take a walk down "Memory Lane"!

Follow up to the new airline restrictions post.

And now a public service announcement from the good folks at San-o Daze. (Click on the image to enlarge if necessary)

Twins!

Contestent in the new Twins Lock-a-like contest!

I'll have one of whatever he's drinking.

A closer inspection.

PIECE!!!!

The new fall styles are appearing at San Onofre.

The 11:45 freight at Trestles. I always wave at the crew and they always wave back.

Addams denounces new San Onofre dog law

San Clemente (UPI) - Wednesday Addams has condemned a new San Clemente law requiring all dogs to be muzzled at San Onofre State Beach, adopted this week after a pit bull attacked a toddler.

"I don't think a Yorkshire terrier or a lapdog constitute any great danger to the population," Addams, a former film star known for her animal rights activism, said in a statement published Friday in the daily Tribune de San Clemente newspaper.

"Unfortunately it's always the dogs paying the price for their masters' ignorance, irresponsibility and bad behavior," said Addams .

The new law, announced Monday, came after an 18-month-old girl was attacked by a pit bull at San Onofre Surf Beach, leaving the child badly disfigured. The law applies to the 40,000 daily dog visitors to the beach. Owners face fines if they are found in breach of the new law, including public caning and deportation.

"If I owned a dog in San Clemente I would simply ignore the law," said animal rights campaigner Tubesteak Tracy , who has worked with Addams to protect baby seals from Canadian hunters, having formerly starred together in several teenage beach movies in the 1960s. "To muzzle an animal amounts to mistreating it. It loses its dignity and its pride. It’s a matter of priorities. Are we going to protect our children from scars that can often be improved with only a few plastic surgeries, or are we going to harm the psyche of animals by muzzling them for the hours a day that they are at the beach? Dogs need exercise and need to relieve themselves somewhere. Do you want them shitting on the fifth green of your country club or on the treadmill at your gym? The dogs deserve this beach.”

Raising a Ruckus and the Roof.

SAN CLEMENTE - Rick Collins said his children were shunned at the beach and the word "abortion" was splattered on his house when he added a second story.

Mayor Murphy said 10 gallons of human feces and rotting animal parts were thrown into his yard after he began circulating a petition to ban the addition of second stories in the Shorecliffs neighborhood.

The two are on opposite sides of a festering dispute in Shorecliffs that has pitted neighbor against neighbor, disrupted city government and spilled over into county Republican politics.

In many ways the Shorecliffs dispute, which may be headed for the ballot, is similar to view-protection and "mansionization" controversies in numerous California cities. Laguna Beach has protected the ocean views of residents for decades. Fountain Valley limited home expansion in April to halt mansionization and allay residents' fears that their homes would be dwarfed by massive reconstructions.

Both Collins and Murphy point the finger at their neighbors.

"They present us as greedy, but it's not true," said Collins, a leader of the faction favoring second-story additions. "I work with my neighbors, but we don't have to be nice. It's not the government's job to regulate this kind of dispute."

Murphy said a neighbor yelled at him in the street complaining about his opposition to second-story construction.

"It was right after they dumped in my yard," he said.

The second-story controversy brings out issues of ocean views, property values, property rights and respect for one's neighbors.

Shorecliffs was built in the early 1960s with remodeling restrictions.

In 1991, the community found that the restrictions were unenforceable. About 17 homes now have second stories erected that block neighbors' ocean views. The fight began in earnest about three years ago when one-story-home supporters started a petition drive to enlist help from City Hall.

To add fuel to the fire, certain Council Members have swayed back and forth on the issue.
The way things are now more homes go two story before the situation is resolved.

When meeting someone new at Trail 6, it is important to shake glands.

City Says Well Water Okay

This guy was spotted just north of the nuclear plant, right after I read in the paper that SONGS says that the radioactive tritium that they flushed out into the ocean won't cause any problems. I am always relieved when a business assures me that when they flushed radioactive tritium, untreated, into the ocean 75 yards from where people surf and fish, and didn’t tell anyone until after they were caught, that there is no reason to be concerned.

Gravitational Lensing

Galaxy cluster 1E 0657-56, formed after the collision of two large clusters of galaxies

Astronomers say they have proven the existence of dark matter, an elusive form of matter believed to be much more abundant in the universe than the ordinary matter we can see. Detection came when they observed two massive clusters of galaxies colliding. Until now, dark matter was just a hypothesis. It was first proposed more than 70 years ago to explain why some galaxies that moved through space at an unusually rapid speed did not fly apart. Scientists suggested that some unseen type of matter exerted enough gravitational pull to keep them together.

But University of Arizona astronomer Douglas Clowe says the notion of unseen matter has been discomforting.

"Astronomers have long been in the slightly embarrassing position of having to explain their observations using something that we didn't know actually existed," said Douglas Clowe.

But that has changed as the result of work Clowe and colleagues have done with the U.S. space agency's orbiting Chandra x-ray telescope. They have witnessed the collision of two massive clusters of galaxies, an impact so great that it has split normal and dark matter apart. This made it easier for them to detect dark matter by measuring its gravitational force apart from the gravity of the normal, observable matter in the stars and hot gases of the clusters.

"This provides the first direct proof that dark matter must exist and must make up the majority of the matter in the universe," he said.

The two galaxy clusters passed through each other at an incredible speed of 16 million kilometers per hour. As they did, the bulk of the luminous matter in the two clusters, which is in the form of hot gases, bumped into each other and slowed down. But the dark matter sailed ahead because it does not interact with normal matter the same way.

The researchers could tell the dark matter was there because the Hubble Space Telescope and large ground telescopes showed that its huge gravitational force bent light coming from distant objects behind it. This distortion, called gravitational lensing, magnified the objects, making them appear larger than if dark matter's gravity had been absent.

"The great news about this is that it is the once and for all the case that you can say dark matter does exist," said Sean Carroll.

Sean Carroll is a cosmologist at the University of Chicago who was not involved in the observations. He says particle physics laboratories around the world are trying to capture dark matter in an effort to determine its properties.

"So there absolutely is a new particle that physicists get to go out there and find," he said. "That's great news because it tells theorists what to think about - to think about models for dark matter - and experimentalists what to do to go out there and look for that particle."

Before this latest finding, some astronomers had proposed an alternative to dark matter. They suggested that ordinary matter's gravity might be stronger on the massive scale of galaxies and galaxy clusters. But Douglas Clowe says the new work shows that gravity's force is the same everywhere.

Those guys at bathroom #4 ain't so bad

When my old high school friend passed out drunk while in dock in Bangkok, his shipmates carried him to a tattoo parlor and he woke up with this. It's even worse when you know that the merman in the front is an exact likeness of him, right down to the bald head and wiskers.

This guy passed out by bathroom #4. Seems like one of the mischievous locals had a little fun with the sun block.

Pier & Surfboard - You Provide The Story / Caption

The real story behind the photo below.

SAN ONOFRE (Reuters) - A parade of 30 topless porn stars riding surfboards at San Onofre will go ahead, Rangers said Monday. Park officials gave the "Boobs on Boards" parade the green light, saying there was no legal reason to stop it despite concerns by Mayor Murphy that granting it a permit would add legitimacy to the event. The event, part of an "Erotica Expo" organized by local promotor Seymour McAllen, will proceed midday Monday. Rangers earlier said they did not regard the parade of leather-clad porn stars as indecent. "In the opinion of the rangers, given the standards of decency observed in this day and age, a female being topless in the surf on a weekday at San Onofre will not in itself constitute an indecent act," Ranger Hal Dairywimple wrote in a letter to Mayor Murphy on Sunday. However, the behavior of the participants during the parade might still attract the attention of Rangers, he warned

Please put the appropriate caption(s) in the comments section.

San Clemente officials order closing of well due to radiation leak at San Onofre.

Picture of creature at edge of City's well in August 2006 before well closure.

This believed to be a tritium induced mutated offspring from a white rhino that was released from Irvine's Lion County Safari. Former company officials recently admitted that they let loose almost 200 wild animals, rather than incur the cost of caring for them when they closed operations in 1984.

Here is a fine pair for Grumpy.

Prehistoric Mutations Discovered at San Onofre:

Tritium-laced groundwater discovered under retired San Onofre nuclear plant.

CARLSBAD ---- Small concentrations of tritium found last week in groundwater under the decommissioned Unit 1 reactor at San Onofre pose no threat to human safety or sea life, according to the plant's owners and the federal Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

"We do not see a threat to public health and safety because of the low level of concentration, but our concern is that it's in a place where it shouldn't be," said Victor Dricks, a spokesman for the commission, which regulates and monitors the nation's nuclear power plants.

Workers discovered higher-than-normal concentrations of tritium, a radioactive hydrogen isotope, on Aug. 17th while dismantling the containment building that housed the reactor, said Ray Golden, a spokesman with Southern California Edison. The reactor operated from 1968 to 1992. The utility owns 80 percent of the reactor and SDG&E owns the remaining 20 percent.

"They're looking for sources, but we're pretty sure it's from the reactor since tritium is a byproduct of nuclear fission," said Drick, adding that federal inspectors stationed at the plant are monitoring the demolition process.

Tritium occurs naturally in the environment and is a byproduct of nuclear reactions. It is used commercially in products such as luminous dials and exit signs.

As part of decommissioning work, workers drilled holes through the concrete floor of the building to test for radioactivity under the foundation, Golden said.

Two water samples taken on different days last week from two different locations under the plant showed concentrations of 50,000 picocuries and 330,000 picocuries per liter, Golden said. Radiation exposure during a chest X-ray is about 50,000 picocuries. Humans are exposed each year to about 1.8 million picocuries from man-made and naturally occurring radioactive sources, according to Golden's figures.

The Environmental Protection Agency, which monitors water quality, allows water with anything less than 20,000 picocuries per liter to be called drinking water, Golden said. California has a drinking water public health goal for less than 400 picocuries per liter, but the state regulation is 20,000 picocuries per liter.

"It's not a surprise that as we dismantle this plant that we've found radioactive materials," Golden said. "Our job is to measure those levels and have programs and take actions to remove them to licensed disposal sites in Mexico."

About 65 percent of the plant has been dismantled, including the reactor itself, as well as all piping and some concrete.

"It's not a leak," Golden said, "because there's nothing left to leak from."

The water under the reactor is naturally occurring groundwater, Golden said, and may have been under the plant for years.

The low-level concentrations fall below the reporting and disposal requirements of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. However, the company has released about 10,000 gallons of the tritium-laced groundwater into the Pacific Ocean via a 1.5-mile outflow pipe, according to Golden. He said the tritium water was diluted with 1.6 million gallons of piped-in seawater before being released for further dilution in the open ocean. The plant sits about 200 yards from the ocean.

Similar releases from the two remaining reactors are common and are noted in reports to the commission, Dricks said.

Golden said there is no chance the radioactive groundwater might migrate into the drinking supply. The nearest residential development is two miles away uphill.

The one problem we have however is, we discovered some kind of prehistoric mutation. All we know for now is that they are flesh eating and are 12 to 15 feet long. They are so rare that the staff at near by Marine Institute, in Dana Point are completely baffled.

Workers at the plant only got a glimpse of the creatures as they swam out in the break water.
A spokesperson for the Marine Institute said, our only hope is to capture one of the creatures. That would at least allow us to identify it.

The above photo is a computer generated composite, based on information obtained from workers at the plant.

Additions to the Family

This 2006 NASA montage of planetary images was taken by spacecraft managed by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. From top to bottom: images of Mercury, Venus, Earth (and Moon), Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. The solar system may soon be home to a dozen planets, with three new additions to the club and more to come, if astronomers meeting in San Clemente, Calif approve a new planetary definition. Dr. Ralph conference organizer has said. (AFP/NASA/File)

As organizer of the conference, I thought you needed to know this.

This Talega woman drives down to San Onofre and slams on the brakes as a dog runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a surfer runs right in front of her and catches the dog by the hind legs and starts screwing it. "Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the park ranger. She sees the Ranger's car parked in front of bathroom #4. "It figures", she says as she storms over to the ranger. The first thing she notices is Rusty sitting under the bamboo jacking-off. She runs up to the ranger who's sitting next to BK with his drink. "What kind of sick beach are you running here?! I drive into town and almost run over some surfer sodomising an animal... and then... I come in here.... and see that man jacking-off right in public!!!!??" "Well, ma'am", the Ranger slowly replies, "You don't expect him to catch a dog in his condition, do ya?"

Puttzle, Dr. Ralph and Sidney were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Sydney fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" Dr. Ralph chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" Puttzle said, "Hey, here comes the Marshall. Let's have a word with him." "Hi Murphy! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" Murphy replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. Puttzle said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." Dr,Ralph said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." Sydney said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Summer Yakers at DogPatch!

And we thought Old Mans and The Point was getting crowded!

Another butt-boarder at Oldmans.

To quote Dr. Ralph, "YIKES!"

Troubled times for Mayor Murphy

It seems Mayor Murphy has a little more than just speeding tickets to worry about.

A recent photo, provided by a local who wishes to remain anonymous, shows what sheriff deputies discovered in the passenger seat of the Mayors car when he was pulled over.

The same anonymous source said the Mayor kept muttering, I'm going to put a stop to the speeders at San Onofre once and for all.

Answer

Answer: None, it should already be open by the time she brings it to you!

Question

Question: How many men does it take to open a beer?

No Comment.

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the club house for help and to complain. Murphy saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?" "I was stung by a bee", she said. "Where", he asked. "Between the first and second hole", she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide..."

They're everywhere

Here is a page from the latest book I'm reading. The only problem is I don't understand any of it. Since most of the readers to this blog are highly educated, perhaps you can help translate?

Video from The blog monitor's camera?

This was sent to me. I don't know anything other than it looks like SanO and the guy who sent it in claims that he hacked into one of the The blog monitor's cameras to get it. You'll need your sound on.

I've watched it several times. It's like the famous Zapruder film. But, who fired the "shot?" The second guy from the left moves away from the first guy on the left, who seems to be the one laughing the most, all making #1 look like the culprit. On the other hand, the second guy from the left seems to do some sort of "ass shift" right in synch with the sound, and maybe he moves to get out of the fouled area. The third guy shifts his stance just after, and it is then that #2 moves away from the backside of #3, making #3 a suspect. The fourth guy from the left seems to look over at #3 and then down at #3's waist area, like #3 is the culprit. Who knows, maybe it was #4.

Stress relief

Stressed-out patrons can now unleash pent-up anger at a bar that lets customers attack staff, smash glasses and generally make a ruckus, the San Clemente Sun Post reported Monday.

Goodies Tavern, a local watering hole in San Clemente, employs 20 muscled young men as "models" for customers to punch and scream at.

"Customers can specify how they want the models to appear -- they can even appear as women -- and then they are free to give them a sound beating," the Sun Post said.

The bar charges from $10 to $40 for the pleasure.

If violence does not work, counselors -- students from near by universities -- are at hand to dispense advice, the newspaper quoted the owner of the bar, Sydney Carton, as saying.

Sydney said that since he has been providing this service, beginning in April, most of the patrons have been women, most of whom work in bars and restaurants in South Orange Co.

At least this paddle assisted craft stayed to the south. (Before it sank)

How many times must we say this?: Paddle assisted craft must go south of Dogpatch!

Ohana Kemp Luau

The Ohana Kemp Surfboards 11th annual Luau at San Onofre was a great success again. Hats off to Dennis, Jody and Cody Kemp for feeding the masses and giving everyone a great time. Six beautiful surfboards built by Dennis were raffled off along with 100's of other great items. The surf was good most of the day and the sun was shining all day long. I would also like to say goodbye to Point Local Larry Cobb ( COBBO) Master shaper for Infinity Surfboards who is moving to Mexico. Sorry I missed your going away party Larry, but I was involved in the Luau and it was a very long day. My best to you and wife and look forward to your visits at The Point when you come up.

San Onofre Surf Camp, 2006. Thats the instructor in the blue shirt.

Andy Rooney says

Why do certain parts of the anatomy continue to grow? While others do not. Take for instance my eye brows, they have been this long sense I was in my mid thirties or so. My ears and nose have gotten a lot bigger too.

I had surgery once, they shaved me from stem to stern. When all the hair grew back, it was the same length as far as I could tell.

My fingers,toes and feet have been the same size sense I was probable twenty one. I was six feet two back then, I think I am a little shorter now and probable weigh a little more too. My suite size is about the same, except for the waist size on my pants.

Can you imagine if certain other parts of the anatomy continued to grow? Things that I can't mention here without a lot of flack. It would be really cool at first, but by the time you were my age it might be a problem. You would have to get it trimmed surgically. It would be painful and cost a lot of money. Thank God that hasn't happened yet.

authored by: Dr. Ralph

The locals at play

The action off shore at Sano seems to be heating up along with the water temp.

THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OF SAN ONOFRE

Dr. Ralph was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for his dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind him asked if he had a dog. On impulse, he told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms. He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with Dr. Ralph's story, particularly a fat lady behind her. Horrified, she asked if he'd been poisoned and was that why he was in the hospital? He said no...He'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him.

motorhome update

Our friend has been camping out all week at the gate. Ranger P. found out this morning that he works for the Power Plant and he has been camping free by parking at the gate, and when the gate opens he drives down to the asphalt lot and camps out. Ranger P. has now told him no more, he can park in the Edison Power Plant parking lot and camp out or be ticketed for illegal camping. This type of person who does not even use the beach can cause the Rangers to start ticketing anyone who parks at the gate before 6am. Why? Because the're to cheap to pay for a campsite, but they don't have to! They can use the Edison lot or Edison has a lot on the mesa that most employees use for camping when they are working for weeks at a time. This is why we need to do our best to keep the Rangers from closing down the morning lineup, and to keep on allowing us to line up early. This should also apply to the 4way stop. Don't just think of yourself, think of everyone that loves to use San Onofre. If there's a line, get in it, don't try to cut it!

IS GLOBAL WARMING A PROBLEM?

(CBS) This story originally aired on March 19, 2006.

As a government scientist, James Hansen is taking a risk. He says there are things the White House doesn't want you to hear but he's going to say them anyway.

Hansen is arguably the world's leading researcher on global warming. He's the head of NASA's top institute studying the climate. But as correspondent Scott Pelley first reported last spring, this imminent scientist says that the Bush administration is restricting who he can talk to and editing what he can say. Politicians, he says, are rewriting the science.

But he didn't hold back speaking to Pelley, telling 60 Minutes what he knows.
For those of you who did not see 60 Minutes I am publishing this excerp. Take the time to read the artcle and make your own judgment. Just log on to 60 Minutes.com.

The bubble-butt lady of Dogpatch.