STATE PARKS TO BAN ALCOHOL AT SAN ONOFRE STARTING THIS WEEKEND!

Life Imitates Art: Happy Gilmore's Chubbs Peterson and the One-Eyed Alligator

Golfer Survives One-Eyed Gator Attack in Florida
The Associated Press
VENICE, Fla. Jun 26, 2007 (AP) A man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb when a nearly 11 foot alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water, authorities said.
Bruce Burger, 50, was trying to retrieve his ball Monday from a pond on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club.
The alligator latched on to Burger's right forearm and pulled him in the pond, said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Burger used his left arm to beat the reptile until it freed him.
"I saw him reach down to get his ball and he yelled" for help, said Janet Pallo, who was playing the fifth hole and ran over to drive the man to the clubhouse.
Burger, from Lenoir City, Tenn., was taken to a hospital but was not seriously injured, Morse said Tuesday.
It took seven Fish and Wildlife officers an hour to trap the one-eyed alligator, which measured 10 feet, 11 inches, Morse said.

note: Chubbs Peterson was Gilmore's golf instructor. He had a wooden hand because he lost his hand to a one-eyed alligator during a golf game.

A doggie thumb drive that gyrates to simulate sex when accessed

Sydney Carton, Esq. sued a dry cleaner.

Plaintiff won't pocket $54 million after losing lawsuit over pants
By The Associated Press

SAN CLEMENTE— A judge ruled Monday that no pair of pants is worth $54 million, rejecting a lawsuit that took a dry cleaner's promise of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" to its most litigious extreme. Sydney Carton’s lawsuit grew out of a simple complaint — that a San Clemente neighborhood dry cleaners lost the pants from a suit and tried to give him a pair that were not his — but came to illustrate, for many, serious flaws in the legal system. His claim, reduced from $67 million, was based on a strict interpretation of the city's consumer-protection law, which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation, as well as damages for inconvenience, mental anguish and attorney's fees for representing himself. But Orange County Judge Murphy ruled that the owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the consumer-protection law by failing to live up to Carton's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store.
"A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands," the judge wrote.

Pricilla Pringles

San-O Daze Reader No. 34

Wonder if he got a ticket too?

The key to a successful relationship...

his and her houses.

Had God wanted couples to live under the same roof. She wouldn't have created garages, and She most definitely wouldn't have fitted them with refrigerators.

This way the next time a boyfriend moves in with me, he'll have his own cage to live in and I'll keep mine. We'll have the only truly successful and long lasting relationship.

Lets say I break into your house.

This is a thought-provoking perspective.

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let's say I break into your house.

Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.

But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors.

I've done all the things you don't like to do.

I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:

You are Required to let me stay in your house

You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan

You are Required to Educate my kids

You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself.

I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house.

And what a deal it is for me!!!

I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.

Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE!!! So you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America...

If you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it. If not blow it off...along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.

Nine things I hate about everyone.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change
the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short" What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Picture of the Shack at Old Mans

Not Your Average Sand Bar

An Indoor Smiling Threesome

HERE, KITTY KITTY!

Ex-Wife's Summer Reading Pick For Young Daughter

Another Summer Reading Pick

Dog Days of Summer - Glamour Pics

Tan Lines

Sand Bar Action From Friday

Almost Three More

909er's on the road to San Onofre...

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY...

As requested by Puttzle who is out of town and unable to post.

THE LITTLE PEOPLE OF SAN ONOFRE...

PT Boat Torpedoed In 1943 Washes Up At San-O

There was strong ground swell Sunday night at San Onofre. It washed up this World War II coastal patrol vessel. The Navy has identified the ship as one struck in the bow by a single torpedo from a German U-boat while on patrol off San Clemente in 1943. It was the same U-boat that, coincidentally, washed up at San Onofre later that same year. Finally, the PT Boat has washed up near where its old adversary washed up 64 years earlier.

One of the guys I met at the Point verified what the Navy said. He seems to know a lot of the local history. His name is Foxbat. His cousin was a deckhand on the PT Boat. All the crew swam to shore. There was no loss of life. Only two crewmen were injured. His aunt has films of the crew swimming ashore and he told me that he has more pictures of the event "than you can shake a stick at." When he told me this, he actually pulled out a stick and shook it to make his point. I don’t think that before that moment I had ever seen anyone actually shake a stick to make a point.

Three More Smilers

Breakfast In Bed.