AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSETO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USINGTHE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR AFEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE ATIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROMROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LLBE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'TMOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40...IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THEDUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEYBRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. _________________________________________________________________
13 comments:
I'm sorry if anyone here is Catholic. I'm not sorry if you are offended, I'm actually sorry – just the fact that you're Catholic. Gotta be one of the most ludicrous fucking beliefs ever. Like these vampire priests sink their twin fangs of guilt and sin into you as a child and suck your joy of life out of you the rest of your fucking existence.
Mother Tessie. they located Sydney Carton Esq. he's been up in Goleta on a sabatical.
Well, whatever you say, however, 'Nofre has had it for today. Not long ago the kelp cutting boat destroyed our seaweed which kept the reef glassy, but no longer. It's choppy morning, noon, and night, day in and day out, week after week, month after month.. The Club stood by with this
gawd awful harvest take place. Enjoy your white caps.
SAN oNOFRE MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.
I slaved 18 days straight 10 hour days. Today Tuesday is my free day.
I head for old 'Nofre. Guess what? No line. Sun's shining, drive right in. Instead of glassy waters there's a forty mph gale force wind. The louts at the point has a fire in hopes I must go we're having BBQ'd goat kldnney and montain oysters for supper right here at the seashore.
It's March you idiots! What,are you new around here? For Godsakes pick up a kite,go drinkin' with BK or move to Arizona! What a bunch of whining pansies! "Oh it's windy outside, I had better head indoors". Or this one;" The road is so muddy I'll never get in". Are you kidding me? "What the eF , the tides coming up,I better run." What a bunch of effin pussies!Yeah I'll enjoy my Whitecap; 1 part Vodka,1 part gin, 1 part rum ,1 part club soda.Pour into San Onofre mug and stir. AMF.
I work at a Sonny's Pizza and one day I answered the phone and started taking an order for a customer. In the process, she made a grunting sound and I heard two loud plops and a splash. There was a pause and she began to finish her order while she was obviously peeing. She then flushed the toilet and said she didn't want to order anymore and hung up.
You fall in love with a model. She falls in love with you. Everything's great, right? Wrong. You forgot about the birds. HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE BIRDS!?
Timmerman, you are totally and irrevukably out of it. First, Mason has an emergrncy at the pizza parlour, and you are fretting over some nonconsequential surf problem involving choppy seas. What is with you anyway. So what if it is windy outside. It's none of your business anyway. She was ordering for me, I love pizza pie, especially with anchovies and mushroom. KMMFA!
Hi everybody, I'm back on Facebook for the tenth time this mont, that means I am your friend. Also, I be emailing you from Facebook direct and not Cox. I'm way older now, becoming bored, Facebook turned things around. How old you ask, well I be well into my forties, and lonely.
Mason,
Make me up one those Roman Orgy pizzas while your waiting for your next x rated phone call.
Puttzle, please tell us when the next installment appears. This is boring. Whoever writes this stuff usung $35.00 words. Like, WTF
does mundane mean anyhoo? Is it an amputee person who has her arm cut off.
HONESTLY! I give up. Gypped again
on San-O Daze.
A. Rube, your right. I know this used to be a blog for surfing. No mas,no mas. Que paso?
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