Saturday, June 18, 2011

BK Shoots

107 comments:

Ramger on Duty said...

Big Kook has put on heavy duty lbs.,, hanging with bros with ball cap backwards. TWhat the hell are those gus doing with a rifle, can you believe it. Who's BK's bro with the sweeping ponytail. What's that beach coming to anyways.

Anonymous said...

'Ranger', beats the living crappola out of me.

NRA said...

OH SHIT!

Ol' Blue said...

YIKES! One of those dudes calld Big Kook 'Homes'.

FBI said...

The target was a photo of Leonard.

Leonard/San Onofre said...

That Knuclehead's going to shoot himself in the foot. You'll see.

minute man said...

git 'er done izzy

Air Marshall said...

BK and Leonard are trying to land an airplane.

They start descending and as they touch the ground the Leonard screams to BK, "BK, pull up, the runaway is ending!"

He swiftly gets the plane back up in the air.

They make a big turn and start descending again.

The moment they touch the ground, Leonard screams again, "Get the plane up, BK, the runaway is ending!"

BK swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Leonard says, "This is so dumb, BK, they build this huge and expensive airport but with such a short runaway."

"I know," answers BK, "But look how wide they made it!"

Leonard's Nephew said...

The deal is with BIGKOOK if it weren't for bad luck BK wouldn't have any luck at all.

High Blood Pressure said...

BIGKOOK and Leonard. Modern day real life Laurel and Hardy.

M.A.D.D. et al said...

Hr drinks, he drives, now he has a gun.

I Give Up said...

M.A.D.D., you said a mothful. Thankms.

Killed by Drunken Driver said...

How many chanes does BK have b efore he kills anothr?

OB said...

( . )Y( . )

&

(_I_)

snake boy said...

Hey, OB,how's it hangen' bro?

Squid Face said...

BK must stop drinking alcohol. He's become a full-time souse. Please stop BIG
KOOK.

911 said...

THEBIGKOOK, you must lose that excess baggage before it takes tghe toll on your ticke. You could be dead by the time you hit the ground. At least if it hits you at San Ononfre beach they have those awful defibalators down there. CLEAR!

Anonymous said...

Old man safe after being trapped in beach toilet. Mark Reynolds a.k.a. Big Kook rescued by lifeguards when unable to open public urinal door.

Anonymous said...

I think he was taking a massive dump.

Nurse Nancy said...

Anon' #3, you got that right. It was that spectacular effort that caused him to be rushed to the ER for stitches.

Anal Fissure said...

He has no zero nada fiber in his diet. He's been plugged up like a cork for the past 2 weeks and finally all hell broke loose in #4. Literally ripped him a new one.

Expectant Mother said...

A-Fissure, BK is a walking time bomb waiting to go off.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it.

Lord's Blessing said...

Anon' #4, THEBIGKOOK, B.K., whatever you want to call him, you've got to see him to believe it. He is totally confused, unresponsive, n ot a care in the world. He loves San Onofre. His only upside is he makes great surfboards.

Grand Theft said...

Toilet cleaners evidently forgot to lock the storage room door at #4. Kook got in there and helped himself to 3 used toilet brushes, a broom, and 300 rolls of TP. He's selling it all on Craig's List.

Jennie Craig said...

'Grand Theft' is that Craig Ephram's List by any chance. Big Kook stepped on the loading dock scale. He now weighs 360 lbs.

Brian Ephriam said...

Craig Ephram has made a fortune off of fellows like BIGKOOK selling hot goods off his list.

Next Please said...

KNOCK, KNOC
WHO'S THERE?
BRAN EPHRIAM
BRIAN EPHRIAM WHO?

Brian Who? said...

Brian Ephriam,CPA, DVD, MD, Esq. went out with yesterdays trash.

Just Curious Esq. said...

Hey now, is Brian Ephriam in reality SydeyCarton Esq.?

Anonymous said...

Although the resemblance is uncanny,Ephriam and Carton are not related.

Inspector Dowden said...

All of you are in for the surprise of your life this summer.

Expectant Father said...

And, what might that be Inspector?

Monsignor Dowden said...

'Expectant Father', you must come see me for forgiveness.

Deputy DA said...

It's no seceret. San Diego DA has ordered a sweep for all delinquent child support fathers. You must present Exemption and Father Neglect verification. Sweepp in effect immediatly.

Rube Steak said...

I know three for sure who are delinquent in child support.

Father Dowden said...

BK was rounded up in the sweep with a six figure sum of delinquent child support.

Swoosie Gallagher said...

Padre Dowden, you can fool some of the people some of ythe time, but you cant fool all the people all the time,

BYOB said...

Swoosie, BK is on his way to debtor's prison. This tinme he won't escape.

Nominating Committee said...

The Legen ds of San Onofre will be realesed tomorrow, Friday, AM.Warning
BK is on the Legend's Roster.

Anon' #3 said...

LEGE3NDS OF SAN ONOFRE ROSTER

Terry BEARD
Jeff LUTON
Brian EPHRIAM
Freddie the LEGEND
Big KOOK
Craig EPHRIAM
Colby KLIINK
Leonard TURNER
Al GEE
Officer BOB

Huevos Rancheros said...

Please notify your Webmiester BK is yesterday's coffee grounds. Move on to Leonard Turner, for gawd's sake..Thank you.

Silly Sally said...

On your Legend's Roster yo must include Jesus of San Onofre.

Circle 7 said...

BIG TROUBLE AT COSTCO BE ON ALERT

The Tipster said...

Yes, they did. A faithful employee shot and killed 2 swartes as they attempted to stick up the jewlry store in Costo parking lot. An eywitness said the gangsters ,"Deaerved what they got". Police are looking for a character with the alias, 'Big Kook'.

Loaded Weapon said...

We know for sure that BIGKOOK always hits his target.

Anonymous said...

BK is suffering from reactions to 'monosodium glutamate,accoring to his case worker appointed b y the County.

sal price said...

costco shooting the cops
found one suspect
hiding in a old camper
it looked like a blood bath
in there but it turned out
to be red wine he was passed out
not dead

The Reverend said...

Sol Price, why in heaven would anyone sit in a camper guzzling cheap wine from a cardboard container. He or she must seek help fast.

The Defender said...

Attention: Fred Swegles, we know you read San_O Daze. Keeping that in mind we suggest you nominate the Monico Jewelery store worker who did a number on the two
shvartsas who were set to stick up the store. There is a motto: Do npt attempt to rob a place using a 20 caliber pustol when the employee has a Uzi semi automatic piece in the drawer.

Non Anonymous said...

O, for Pete's sake. The Monico employee who wasted the two would be bandits used an Uzi semi automatick. Throbbers didn't have a chance. Within half a second they were shot and killed.

Coroner's Office said...

Hi everybody, my heartfelt condolences to the family of the poor unarmed lad shot and killed at the jewelry store. He didn't know the he would've spent his fin al day on this planet. UZI's are deadly. He didn't have a chance, but his buddy talked him into going to the jewelry store thinking they'd walk out the store as millionairs. The two sounds as if they were from Oceanside.

The Slueth said...

'Coroner's Office', I think you might have something here. Two shvarts's in San Juan Capistrano, well that isn't right, if you know what I mean, and I know you do. Pull a hiest, hop in the car with the money, then head back home to Oceanside. Think it over.

I Give IUp said...

Fifty three non-sensical comments. Here's my arm gimme' a break.

Leonard Luton said...

Why do they not switch the name of this confounded BLOG to BK-O Daze. Huh, answer that.

Leonard Ephriam said...

BK and DAZE do fit well together.

Leonard the Legend said...

So I go to Granny's paddle out yesterday hosted by Grand Marshall level 5 Legend Don Craig.

Paramedics standing by.

Average age of attendee: 87.

More of a who's who for the next paddle out.

Clogged Artery said...

Good question. Who's next? He shall be from San Onofre. Older guy, stroke victim. Waliking up the beach looking for handout. Wham! Dead before he hits ground, So sorry....

Dr. Embolism said...

BP 220/180. Large puffy red face. Seething with anger.

William Morris said...

Dr.Embolism. you are describig g the
ig Big Kook, aren't you? Well, I saw hoim at the fun eral yestgedrday, aznd hed was eatig hot dogs, guzing brewskis as if tghe were no tomorrow. Viewn s were bulging on his neck, oh it was terrible. Talk about a stroke vikc tge, well he's a candidate. There was a lot of old guys with ponytails, their hair gray, and thinning. They all played ukeleles. I don't look foward to b ecoming old. Tgray hair was bad, but their jowels were unsightly, however, n o one could top BK's jowl. Lots of spider veins on their nose. .

Blood Work said...

Kook's cholesterol is off the charts, over 500. He needs a double quintuple bypass now.

Jack Kevorkian said...

That funeral was nothing but fat old men with gray facial hair that went out in the 70's. Liver spots from some damage were in abundance. Many were bleeding profusely from arm dings and blood thinners. Funny how the bald ones are so attached to their pony tails.

Mike Purpus said...

Well, the Paddle Out was too much for BK.
He departed the Hermosa Pier; had a small stroke, but refused treatment from County Lifeguards. The poor fellw, because of high pressur, popped a vessel in his nose and thet couldn 'they couldn't stop the flow of blood/ For a while it didn't look good.

loaded to kill said...

Hey Mike, hoe's it hangen', bro? Bik KOOK is a mess nowadays. Simply put, he drinls to much. Alcohol and the hot sun don't mix. It'll be a miracle if he makes it through the hot summer. He is a walking keg of dynamite.

F. Lee Dowdin, Probate esq. said...

BIGKOOK is set to inherit $30 million from a long lost aunt. However, he must prove that he is a citizen of good standing.

Banner Chairman said...

IMMEDIATE WORK AVAILABLE for qualified volunteers. Surfer Row banners must be hoisted today. If ac c epted you will recieve box lunch consisting of a
bologna sandwich and an orange. Club members preffered.

mason said...

hi guys. i'm off for the summer.

Banner Chairman said...

That's great Mason. Come down, help us hoist high the banners.

mason said...

cool! does my dad get a banner?

Asst.Director said...

mason, yes he does, it shall be hoisted near Big Helyns.

Step out of the vehicle said...

I thought BK's banner was at Big Helyns. Or was it the sheriff's sub station?

Care Giver said...

'Step from Vehicle, it seems everything BK touches tuurns to schitt.

Anonymous said...

Hello Putzle, anyone home?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ said...

The guys were all at camp. No one wanted to room with BK, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they agreed to take turns.

The first guy slept with BK and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said "Man, what happened to you? He said "BK snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night".

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes bloodshot. They said "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that BK shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Leonard's turn. Leonard was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said "Well, we got ready to sleep. I went and tucked BK into bed, patted him on the butt and kissed him good night. BK sat up and watched me all night".

Town Drunk said...

Keep it going boys. We're coming up on
100.

Anonymous said...

la di da

paramedics said...

Could not believe it. At 'Nofre yesterday BK cut a hugh fart, and his nose began bleeding prfusly, they couldn't stop it.
What in hell is wrong with him anyways?

El Inspector said...

Anon', the cliche is, "Well, la di da. You must include 'Well'.

the executionist said...

The only way to stop the serpent is to cut off it's head. 'Hey BK, come here for a minute, I want to show you something.

Young Stud said...

Nothing worse than old guys sporting gray, thinning,swept back in a ponytail. Old guys are in their 60's and 70's. It is humiliating.

Assisted Living said...

Speaking of old guys, what ever became of Murphy?

The Geezer said...

Young Stud, I think we were at the same parade. Those old timers won't give up. Did you see the old fool with his ball cap tilted sideways to gain attention. He sure looked goofy. They all drive around in reconditioned model 'A' Fords. Them old timers are sure messed up, ain't they.

The Donald Craig said...

I make a fortune off of them old guys.

Anonymous said...

'The Donald', you desrve it. Those Cling wrap guys just won't let go.

Skin Flint said...

Hey, what's the hokd-up on the 241 toll road. im tired of spending hard earned money on gas a $4.00 gallon. Get it right this time.

Dick Johnson said...

There once was a pervert named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor.
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one weiner leaner

Rabbi O'Toole said...

One more time, okay.

There once was a Rabbi from Keats
Who could circumsise very neat
But, on the Passover they kicked
His ass over
He was selling the clippings
For meat

Ta Da

Williaam Morris Agency said...

Filming begins Monday at San Onofre, Old Man's. Featured players & extras report at 6:00 AMa ready for work. Studio catering truck arrives at 7:00 AM. Union workers stay home.

Care Giver said...

Will someone plfase step up to th plate and hit a home run. This blog has hit the skids.

Surf Bean said...

The new banners are up!

Can someone please tell me Tubesteaks is next to the Mexi-mart?

Early Bird said...

There were a gazallion surf stars at OCTavern's banner day celebration led by Big Kook and his disciples. It was classic, however, if you weren't there you didn't belong there. Club Luau clming up. Get your tickets early. Don't be shutout.

T Bird said...

Reef Riders and free beer at the luau.

Controller said...

Yowzah! T-Bird, however, the Club jacked the prices up to $30.00 cash to attend te Luau this year. There's no way that's free suds.

Lobby Bombard said...

Ahem. Free Schlitz for the band and their entourage. Theres an angle for you, bird.

Snail Tracks said...

BIGKOOK'S disciples are Leonsrd,
Steve Roth, Freddie the Legend, Al Gee, Brian Ephriam, Colby Klink, Terry Beard,
and a host of others.

Doug Watts said...

Dude, count me in on BK's entourage.

Paddy O'hara Esq. said...

Doug Watts if you're a 'yes man' you are a member of BK's new team.

Murphy said...

Most frustrating of all,
I couldn't comment on YOUR posts!

So: I was there! I loved your post!


Ah Summer;

Paul Boomer said...

Murphy, you're old enough to remember, a post is a phartt. Like, in the farting post. Remember. I knew you would.

Murphy #100 said...

I believed or thought I was disoriented and the victim of a bizarre dream and I believe I paced in and out of the room and possibly into one of the other rooms. I may have re-examined it, finally believing that this was true.

Lord's Blessing said...

Murphy #100, do you know what graphics are in writing, especially narritive? If not check it out.

Anonymous said...

Murphy's on substances again.

Patriot said...

✰✰✰✰✰☰☰☰☰☰☰
✰BIG✰✰☰☰☰☰☰☰
✰KOOK✰☰☰☰☰☰☰
✰✰✰✰✰☰☰☰☰☰☰
☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰
☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰

Big Kook IVX said...

Patriot, love your style. I hope you continue on. San -O Daze is your stomping grounds, AFAIC.

Swallow's Inn said...

BIGKOOK bites the BIGONE

Fed up said...

How many more weeks of BK shooting a gun must we put up with? Whats wrong with you Putzle?

Squid Face said...

BK, don't let these jerks get on your case.U.B.U,

Moon Phase