The new Surfteck" Vintage" line was put on display today at Old Man's, the boards resemble the boards from the '30's and '40's, they are also weighted for authenticity. On sale soon at Talega Surf&Sport.

After January 1 2006, a new mounted Ranger Posse will patrol San Onofre in the afternnon and evening looking for violators of the new "NO ALCOHOL" rule! Their new mounts are also trained in crowd control.

There's a new Ranger at San Onofre, and she is all business! Go ahead, make her day!

Well, Puttzle finally got his new set of wheels! Now he needs to find a girl friend, he still looks alittle horny.

The new sign at San Onofre. Kind-a sum's up the new crowd.

THE PHOTOS THE STATE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE!

Another surfer was attacked and devoured yesterday at San Onofre. As usual, park officials covered it up so as not to alarm the public and more importantly, decrease state revenues! A high ranking park official was actually heard saying "that as long there are illegal aliens that need tax monies to buy diapers, then we will do everything in our power to make the illegals feel at home."

The water is so bad that when Dingo went surfing he got such a bad rash his wife had to put this collar on him to keep him from scratching himself.

Here's some e.coli laden feces at the point. You can actually see where the discharge location is in the center of the picture. Park officials have send all available personnel up to fight the fires so this ain't going to be fixed for a while!

Tubesteak broke the story this morning. Now here is the latest news photo of the massive San Onofre sewage spill. The nausiating stench reaching to Dana Point and Oceanside. Mountains of dead marine life everywhere. Tune into Tubesteaks blog for updates!

Hey Mushburger! Your swedish maid has arrived!

From the Mayors Office

Puttzle, great to hear from you! How are things on the Island? (we won't tell anyone that your on Terminal Island) more later maybe------

The requests for permits to have parties at San Onofre has been so great the State Parks Service has had to hire more clerks to keep up with the requests!

Just for you Mushburger, the Point last year at this time!

October is almost here and you know what that means! Yep, stingray breeding season is here! Hundreds of thousands of the barbed creatures will be litterally carpeting the bottom of San Onofre in their annual mating ritual. Keep in mind that mating stingrays can be quite aggressive and actually derive a sexual thrill from stinging things (including humans). And, of course, their venom is much more painfull and toxic this time of year. Don't be suprised to see one leap out of the water occasionally in search of a victim!

See! Here's one at Old mans!

Not only do we have to worry about sharks at San Onofre, but now we have to worry about Polar Bears!

The new Full Service super-station in Laguna Beach.

Hot Hawiian Surfing Club Babe!

PUTTZLE GOT A WOODY! (he may have gotten a car, too)

This is a quote from Dingo during his interview with Huell Howser when huell asked him if it was a myth that all handsome guys are really stupid.

A mushburger with all the fixin's!

Can you imagine trying to play TWISTER in this room?

This pooch took first place in the mixed breed age 5-7 category at the recent club contest. However, as soon as he reached the beach, he was cited by Hal Dairywimple for not wearing a leash!

Here we see the Brea Surf Club clubhouse at the end of the rainbow.

Someone threw away a perfectly good wino!

This T-shirt say's it all!

The Mayor visiting with the "World Champ" Sunday at Lowers during the contest.

What the hell?????

The Tubesteak 2000 intestinal gas recirculation unit. The result of countless hours in his laboratory and / or lavatory. Perhaps he has too much time on his hands or is actually on to something here. The jury is still out.

Popular icon in Japan.

Popular icon at San Onofre.

Yesterdays brief downpour sure caused some major problems at San Onofre as these Talegalites discovered when they hit the notorious puddle at the wind indicator doing 50+.

As we age, our priorities change . The other day Murphy came home from the beach and was greeted by his wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So, he tied her up and went golfing.

While fishing off of San Onofre, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of stingrays kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting a surfer standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any stingrays around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the stingrays?" "We didn't do nothin'," the surfer said. "The sharks got 'em."

Trestles on a normal day.

Trestles during a contest with half a million lookie-loos trying to kiss Kelly Slaters ass. Which do you prefer?

A San Onofre man was found dead in his motorhome over the weekend. Park Rangers at the scene found the man face down in his RV's bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt. Rangers suspect it was done by ...
... a cereal killer.

WOW!

Well, while the rest of you were philosophizing about locals, Starbucks, Coronas, and ex-girlfriends while confusing Murphy with Dingo, you missed all the nudity at Dogpatch! I can't post most of the photos, but you can get the idea from this. So here is what happened. Three bus loads of swedish massage students went out for their monthly nude sun bathing excursion. They thought that they were going to trail 6, but not having been there before, only knew it was at the end of San Onofre. Hence, they ended up at Dogpatch. I had the place to myself with them as everyone else was either commenting on the last post, or swooning around lowers for Kelly Slater's autograph!

Signs like this one are being posted all over San Onofre surf beach this weekend. And the park will not allow anyone with less than 25 years of surfing experience to enter the water during this very large swell! And don't try and say you have the experience, because if you lie to the Rangers and they see you do not, they will arrest you on the spot and revoke your permit to enter the state parks for 1 year. (if you live!)

Experienced surfers only! That means 96.3% of you do not belong in the water! Of course the other 3.7% of you who do know what they're doing are the only ones reading this blog anyway, so its a moot point.

WHALE BLOWN UP AT SAN ONOFRE!

Gory end at San Onofre
A beached whale was blown up in front of horrified children yesterday after rescuers failed to get it back into deep water. Onlookers watched as explosives were strapped behind the 30 foot Southern Right whale's head and detonated, killing it instantly. Many of them shouted insults at rangers as the whale died. Later, officials at San Onofre defended the way the beast was killed on the beach at Old mans. Hal Dairywimple, of the State Parks, said explosives were recommended for such cases by the International Whaling Commission. Other options, such as shooting the whale or injecting it with drugs, were considered riskier and more painful for the animal. Dozens of local surfers and rescue workers had spent the night trying to get the whale back into the sea. But by daybreak the high tide had washed it further up the beach, where it became stuck on sand and was clearly suffering, officials said. The whale was either sick or had just became trapped.

Harding got a new toy! Here he is at bathroom #4. Is that JW/TBK strapped to the front? I hope they didn't get him for impersonating a squad car. (Those of you who don't know JW/TBK may not understand)

Look what washed ashore this morning. He appears somewhat familiar, but I can't quite place him. INS agents thought he was from Mexico, so they ignored him.

It was so hot today at San Onofre you could fry an egg on just about anything.

Those of you who were at this weekends contest know about the bees! They were aggresive and everywhere! Damn near everyone got stung multiple times. Benadryl was is short supply as victim after victim was treated by lifeguards who themselves were covered with stings. There was no escape in the water as this type of bee gets all excited from red tide! This photo was Tubesteaks soda can seconds after he opened it!

As everyone was leaving San Onofre last night Ranger Hal Dairywimple set up a sobriety check point at the gate. Todays Headline in the paper says it all. It worked only because he ate a pair of "Fruit of the Loom's" he found in bathroom #4.

The Oil companies are banning together during the gas crisis. If you plan to pump their gas, you can bet the're going to pump you!

The contest went off without a hitch...except for this unnamed contestant. Women and children ran screaming and crying when he decided to catch a few rays. Lets see who can guess who this is! Winner gets a free lunch of Psyllium husks with Tubesteak.

The awards dinner after the contest today was a great success, until the tide came in!

The Hawaiian Surf Club liked the Mayors "Slow Down" sign so much, they decided to post their own.

Ready for the Weenie dog races?

What can happen when you use Cialis and it lasts for more than 4 hours.

As Dingo tries to defuse a bomb found at Old Man's, the Mayor decides to play a joke on him!

This beach Babe has shown up at San Onofre every day this summer. She's only 23 and has a big crush on Dingo! She really makes the guys tongues hang out.