HAPPY NEW YEAR! From the San-O Daze Crew!

And once again, the Mayor put on his wetsuit and showed what a few Brussel spouts could do to a RipCurl ultimate elasto in the right hands.(or butts)

After having 2 bean&cheese burrito's from 7-11, Dingo thought he would have plenty of ammo for the morning phartt fest, but instead of several small blasts, there was one large one which blew this hole in his shorts. Luckily there where no injuries to anyone, only his shorts and chair were destroyed.

If you've ever been standing around with the dawn patrol guys in line in the morning waiting for Don to open the gate, we have great news! Yes, it is now legal to pass gas! The state has erected this sign saying so. Of course if you never get there before the opening, this won't make any sense, so check in later and maybe Murphy will post something that will.

SURFER PUNCHES SHARK IN THE NOSE

Mason Klink, 10, was surfing off the coast of San Onofre Saturday when a great white shark attacked him. As he was paddling, Klink said he felt something grab his leg. Without thinking, he punched the big shark in the nose. "That's all I could think to do, and after I did that, it let go," Klink said. "And I wanted to get to shore as soon as I could. The thought crossed my mind that I might not make it back in and it was just pretty hectic." Klink credits his experience as a surfer and shark television shows with helping him keep his presence of mind. "I acted on instinct," he said. Klink then paddled to shore, where bystanders said they saw a puddle of blood dripping from his leg. Before heading to the hospital , Klink tied his XM surfboard leash tightly around his shin to prevent blood loss. Still hospitalized, he is expected to make a full recovery and will surf again. "I'll go back out, eventually," he said. "It probably won't be until New Years day."

Maybe instead of putting tags on released fish, they should put Nicoderm patches!

From the top of the bluff looking down, just south of the shack, you can see one of numerous illegal alien encampments. Thats not "doggy-doo" that you see along the road! The boarder patrol could fill up 16 busses of them "IF"they were interested.

New handicap signs go up at SanO!

A New sign went up at Trail 6 in preperation for the new summer season.

The Trail 6 Surf Club had their annual Christmas party at Dogpatch last Sunday. Here is the gang posing for the group photo. And as with most groups, some idiot had to ruin the picture. If your not 18 yet, don't look.

The giant surf that hit SanO this morning took out everything. In the background you can see whats left of 4 doors and the bathrooms. The Mayor shown here sitting on the rock and looking dejected, was heard mumbling to himself and saying, "man I should have used my lob-wedge on that last shot"!

The 20th annual New Years day 7am no wetsuit surf session will occur this Sunday rain or shine! You must skin it! Not even a rash guard is allowed. This shot from several years ago show the crew getting ready. Time: 6:59 am. Air temp: 42 degrees. Wind chill: unbearable. Water temp 57 degrees. The first one to come in loses and is forever deemed a wimp. This year could be interesting. Wetsand says 12 foot surf. The national weather service says a chance of rain with morning temps in the 40's. Permanent shrinkage will occur. ( Do not click on the last link unless you are over 18)

P.S. Allan Seymour participated last year and lived to tell about it.

The Governator was down at SanO to see the Mayor and discuse the illegal alien problem and the new toll road and he wanted to know if the Talegalites were being a problem also! As he left the beach he yelled to the Mayor, "All BE BAWK"!

For those of you who love pictures of women with huge jugs, this ones for you!

The Mayor was out this morning on his new Christmas longboard called, "THE BOTTLE-NOSERIDER"! He's seen here at the SandBar Jockying for position.

A Very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From the Crew at SAN-O DAZE!

On my way back from the beach yesterday I spotted a couple of neighborhood girls selling lemonade. I was thirsty and I had 10 cents. I gotta say, though, it tasted like piss!

Dingo dropping in on a DogPatch monster this morning while the Butt-boarders and Yakers were caught inside.

The SandBar was the spot this morning, here's the Mayor coming hard off the bottom. (what you don't see is the 5 guys dropping in on the shoulder)

A young surfer was pulled over by the park rangers for speeding. The ranger stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The surfer handed over his license. Then the ranger noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The ranger said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The surfer replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The ranger spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The surfer pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the ranger that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The ranger reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at The Rib Trader, BK was drinking it up with Rusty. BK soon left and got into his old, white van. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden BK spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Rib Trader and asked for his buddy, Rusty. When Rusty got on the phone, BK said, "Whatever you do when you leave that place, don't go south on Basilone road. The rangers are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"

They're back!! Thats right, killer bees! This guy was sitting near the shack when all of a sudden and totally unprovoked, this swarm of 300,000,000 bees attacked him and everyone else in the area. He did not survive.

Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on the log at 4-doors having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from the point. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Just another typical morning at the Point, only now theres a swell. Dingo drops in and sets up for the speed bumps!

Salt Creek was really doing it this morning!

You've all heard of crop circles. Now there's something called beach spirals. No doubt these are being done by extraterestial illegal aliens in the middle of the night. This one was out in front of bathroon #4 this morning. Thats Murphy standing in the center.

This sail boat went down for the count while trying to navigate out of Dana Point harbor. That's Mason Klink and Wes Miller riding tow-ins at Killer Capo in the background.

Another bodyboarder at the sand bar. All that washed in was a busted Churchill fin. This poor guy is missing and presumed dead.

Cottons Point was really going off this morning!

Body surfing at the sand bar. Not a good idea in this swell. There were no survivors!

Here is a real picture of the Dana Point breakwater. Notice the surfboard in the back of the little boat.

The SandBar lefts went off for about a hour this morning before the tide got to high.

Lowers was on fire this morning, O-Side was closed out and this is what we came back and found.

Well, the big swell hit this morning and the Dana Point Breakwater took a real beating.

Talega Timmy out at the point. Is that a life vest or one of those mid-eastern thngs that blows up in a crowd?

Well here he is ladies, Dingo modeling his new XM imitation leopard skin Speedos!

The difference between European women and American women.

We finally got a picture of Mushburger.

The state park service is get so controling at SanO, now you can't even relieve those gastric disorders!

I hope this Dr. washes his hands before he sticks them in someones mouth!

Due to the ongoing problem of giant dumps on the beach, California State Parks will be posting these signs every fifty feet. Also due to the Gil Sedillo / Vicente Fox treaty, all state signs will be printed in spanish.

Like the Mayor always says "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Well, here he is on his new Wal-mart boogie board on a sandbar left.

And we thought we were brave men! When it thawed out this morning, she was the first to hit the waves.

It was so cold this morning, this is what it looked like from the Point up to Church!

Here's one of the friendly shortboard types that have taken over the point lately. This young lad is waving at the Mayor.

Better break out the 6mm wetsuit and the head condom. Not only has the air been cold in the morning but the water temp has dropped too. A nice balmy 47 degrees to be exact. And yes, those are small icebergs out there at the point this morning.

The SandBar was going off this morning when the tide finally went out!

These two Russian children from were visiting San Onofre with their parents. They had one picture left in their camera. Just as dad snapped the picture, "Otis the lab" wandered into the shot and proceeded to pinch a steamer.

It's that time of year again. The time for the annual trail 6 Christmas parade. This Saturday at 10AM sharp, all the fruits, freaks, and weirdos march from trail 6 to the point where a potluck lunch with festive libations will be served. You might want to leave the kids at home that day!

This group of tourists were visiting San Onofre from Talega. If your over 18, click on the photo to enlarge it. Does anyone reconize the guy in the background??

Well as soon as Clark Foam closed their doors, an endless stream of illegals headed back towards the border when they lost their jobs. They will be retrained as house keepers and be back looking for work in Talega.

Here are some warning labels

I discovered I was using most of these things wrong!

Sleeping Pills -- Caution: May make you drowsy.
•Lighters -- Contents flammable.
•Dog Shampoo -- The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
•Shampoo -- Intended for use on hair only -- not eyes.
•Stroller -- Remove infant before folding for storage.
•Curling Iron -- Not for internal use.
•Microwave Oven -- Do not use for drying pets.
•Child's Playhouse -- This is not a toy.
•Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally
•King Size Mattress -- Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
•Can of Insecticide -- This spray is harmful to insects.
•Firecrackers -- Do not light while holding in mouth.
•Fat-Free Potato Chips -- May cause anal leakage.
•Peanut Butter -- Warning: May contain nuts.
•TV Dinner -- Remove plastic wrap cover before eating.
•Batteries -- Do not swallow. C or D batteries may cause choking. •
.22-Caliber Rifle -- May cause injury or death.
•Hardware Store Rotary Drill -- This product not intended for dental purposes.
•Hemorrhoid Suppositories -- Remove aluminum wrapping before insertion.
•Disposable Diapers -- Dispose of after use.
•Electric Cattle Prod -- For use on animals only.

And you thought real-estate was expensive?

Click here!

SaNTa sent a Christmas card from Grubby!

Here is The Mayor going out for his morning session. Keep in mind he had refried beans, cabbage, and a big bowl of grape nuts for dinner.