No "Rats Leaving The Sinking Blog" Jokes

I AIN'T KIDDING

Steve Vai - "For The Love Of God"

Let us take a break from all this Santa stuff.
I went deep into my files for this, so take about ten minutes and enjoy.
Merry Christmas

Doc.

WONDERFUL SANTA

X-MASS GIG 2009

The Carbon Pawprint of A Pet Dog Is More Than Double That Of A Gas Guzzling SUV

Man's best friend is one of the environment's worst enemies, according to a new study which says the carbon pawprint of a pet dog is more than double that of a gas-guzzling sports utility vehicle.

Dog feces causes high bacterial levels in rivers, and streams, making the water unsafe to drink, starving waterways of oxygen and killing aquatic life.

But I still like dogs.

X-MASS WEEK SPECIAL

COMING SOON SANO

BE A PART CAUSE U.R.

HISTORY LIVES ON

WELCOME HOME

WHEN THE BOTTLES EMPTY, THE BOTTLES EMPTY

NEW YEARS DAY NO WET SUIT SAN ONOFRE

NEW Tiger Woods SEX VIDEO REVEALED!!

Eleventh hole and counting

Like it or not here it is.

..HIGH SURF ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM PST FRIDAY...

A HIGH SURF ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM PST FRIDAY.

A LARGE...LONG PERIOD WEST TO NORTHWEST SWELL WILL CONTINUE AT
TIMES THROUGH FRIDAY WITH A PERIOD OF AROUND 16 SECONDS. MOST OF THE
SURF WILL BE BETWEEN 4 TO 7 FEET...WITH LOCAL SETS TO NEAR 9 FEET
AT EXPOSED WEST FACING BEACHES. THE SURF WILL DECREASE ON FRIDAY
WITH MAX SETS TO AROUND 7 FEET FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

HIGH TIDES WILL BE 6 FEET OR LESS THROUGH FRIDAY AND ARE NOT
EXPECTED TO BE A FACTOR. THE LARGE SURF WILL CAUSE LOCAL BEACH
EROSION.

IT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS TO FISH OR OBSERVE WAVES FROM EXPOSED
COASTAL STRUCTURES OR ROCKS DURING HIGH SURF CONDITIONS. VERY
LARGE WAVES CAN SUDDENLY SWEEP ACROSS PREVIOUSLY DRY AREAS.
SWIMMING OR SURFING IN THESE WAVES MAY BE DANGEROUS FOR ANYONE
DUE TO POWERFUL WAVES AND STRONG RIP CURRENTS.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A HIGH SURF ADVISORY MEANS THAT HIGH SURF WILL AFFECT BEACHES IN
THE ADVISORY AREA...PRODUCING RIP CURRENTS AND LOCALIZED BEACH
EROSION.

&&

...WET WEATHER MOVING BACK INTO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA THIS WEEKEND...

A STRING OF DISTURBANCES OVER THE EAST PACIFIC WILL BE MOVING
THROUGH SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BEGINNING ON FRIDAY AND CONTINUING
THROUGH SUNDAY. PERIODS OF RAIN...AND SNOW AT HIGHER ELEVATIONS IN
THE MOUNTAINS ARE EXPECTED. ISOLATED THUNDERSTORMS WILL BE POSSIBLE
AS WELL.

THE FIRST SYSTEM WILL BRING LIGHT TO LOCALLY MODERATE RAIN SHOWERS
FRIDAY MORNING. AN ISOLATED THUNDERSTORM OR TWO IS POSSIBLE EARLY IN
THE MORNING WITH LOCALLY BRIEF HEAVY RAIN. THIS WILL BE FOLLOWED BY
ANOTHER PERIOD OF LIGHT TO MODERATE RAIN ON SATURDAY MORNING. ONE
FINAL ROUND OF MODERATE TO LOCALLY HEAVY RAIN AND SNOW IS POSSIBLE
LATE SATURDAY INTO SUNDAY MORNING. IN BETWEEN EACH SYSTEM...LIGHT
SHOWERS MAY LINGER NEAR THE FOOTHILLS AND MOUNTAINS DUE TO CONTINUED
MOIST WESTERLY FLOW.

TOTAL RAINFALL AMOUNTS FOR THE ENTIRE EVENT THROUGH SUNDAY SHOULD
GENERALLY BE IN THE RANGE OF 0.75 TO 1.75 INCHES FOR THE COAST AND
VALLEYS...AND 2.00 TO LOCALLY 4.00 INCHES ON THE FOOTHILLS AND
COASTAL SLOPES OF THE MOUNTAINS. THE BIGGEST TOTALS SHOULD BE IN THE
SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS. LOCALLY HEAVIER AMOUNTS ARE POSSIBLE WHERE
THUNDERSTORMS DEVELOP. SNOW LEVELS WILL INITIALLY BE QUITE HIGH ON
FRIDAY...NEAR 7000 FEET...BUT SHOULD FALL TO AROUND 5500 FEET OVER
THE SAN BERNARDINOS AND 6500 FEET OVER THE SAN JACINTOS BY SUNDAY
MORNING...WHERE UP SIX INCHES OF SNOW COULD ACCUMULATE BY SUNDAY
NIGHT. LITTLE SNOW ACCUMULATION IS EXPECTED ON THE SAN DIEGO COUNTY
MOUNTAINS. IN THE DESERTS...GENERALLY ONE HALF INCH OF RAIN OR LESS
IS EXPECTED.

RAINFALL OF SEVERAL INCHES COULD CAUSE RIVERS TO RISE ENOUGH TO
FLOOD LOW-LYING...TYPICALLY FLOOD PRONE AREAS IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY.
EVEN THOUGH WIDESPREAD HEAVY RAIN IS NOT EXPECTED FOR SAN DIEGO
COUNTY AT THIS TIME...ISOLATED CONVECTION...OR A SLIGHT SHIFT IN THE
STORM TRACK WOULD MAKE IT MORE LIKELY. OF MAIN CONCERN WOULD BE THE
SOUTH COAST NEAR THE TIJUANA RIVER...AND THE SAN DIEGO RIVER...WHERE
LOW-WATER CROSSINGS WOULD NEED TO BE BARRICADED.

HEAVY RAINFALL ON RECENT BURN AREAS COULD RESULT IN LIFE-THREATENING
DEBRIS FLOWS. A FLASH FLOOD WATCH MAY BE NEEDED IN THESE AREAS BY
SATURDAY.

PERSONS LIVING IN AND CLOSE TO RECENTLY BURNED AREAS OR IN LOW-LYING
AREAS SUBJECT TO RIVER AND STREAM FLOODING SHOULD KEEP ABREAST OF
LATER FORECASTS.

STAYED TUNED FOR UPDATES ON THIS DEVELOPING WEATHER EVENT.

Merit Badge

Fifteen year-old Boy Scout works on earning a merit badge with the help of his 39 year-old female Boy Scout Troop Leader

. . . in his bedroom

. . . on Sunday

. . . until his parents burst in.

GAWD ALMIGHTY

My new friends

As long as we are in the toilet here I would like you to meet my new surfing buddies.
Featured in the top photo is Mega Murph.
In the next photo is Chew Rocket and David New Wave.

UERE HE COMES

DOUBLE DUECE DANGLERS

THE STRAND

Science Fair No. 681 - The Sphincter

Police capture man with handgun in work cubicle.

Police captured this man seen with a handgun in his cubicle at work. Despite the photo, he was innocent.
Welcome to the lego defense.

KDAZE AM

She should have used a 1 wood

Change

There, now the economy is all better.

REAL OBG

A 1969 note from Mick Jagger to Andy Warhol

MORE ROAD CLOSRE 2010

THIS IS HAPPENING

HOMELRSS BEACH BUMS

TOO PAINFUL TO WATCH

ORALE ESE

Large Hadron Collider - The Search For The Higgs [1 of 3]

To help you further understand, ( for those of you that do) torch a fat one and sit back and enjoy.

Proton beams circulate in Big Bang machine

GENEVA - Scientists switched on the world's largest atom smasher Friday night for the first time since the $10 billion machine suffered a spectacular failure more than a year ago.

It took a year of repairs before beams of protons circulated late Friday in the Large Hadron Collider for the first time since it was heavily damaged by a simple electrical fault.

Circulation of the beams was a significant leap forward. The European Organization for Nuclear Research has taken the restart of the collider step by step to avoid further setbacks as it moves toward new scientific experiments — probably starting in January — regarding themakeup of matter and the universe. Story continues below ↓

LOVE 'YA SAN ONOFRE

OFFICER KRUPKE

One Cent One Beer

It seems for now we are a video blog so if you want Letterman or Seinfeld I think you know where to find them.

BIENVENIDOS

Sweet Georgia Brown med traktorkomp

Because you liked the last one so much here is another one.

United Breaks Guitars

Don't mess with musicians that have access to U-Tube.

A musician named Dave Carroll recently had difficulty with United
Airlines. United apparently damaged his treasured Taylor guitar ($3500)
during a flight. Dave spent over 9 months trying to get United to pay
for damages caused by baggage handlers to his custom Taylor guitar.
During his final exchange with the United Customer Relations Manager, he
stated that he was left with no choice other than to create a music
video for U-Tube exposing their lack of cooperation. The Manager
responded, "Good luck with that one, pal."

So he posted a retaliatory video on U-Tube. The video has since
received over 5.5 million hits. United Airlines contacted the musician
and attempted settlement in exchange for pulling the video. Naturally
his response was, "Good luck with that one, pal."

Taylor Guitars sent the musician two new custom guitars in appreciation
for the product recognition from the video that has lead to a sharp
increase in orders.

Women Love A Cultured Man

But I don't even own a parakeet.

Type "why won’t" into Google and you will get a list of the most common searches thanks to Google's auto-fill-in function.

I kid you not.

Ersatzline 014

FEED STARVING BEACH BUMS FIRST

Mobile Home Commercial

GET YOUR ASS OUTTA THE SACK

SAL GEEZE NOSE WALKING

PLEAE VISIT OCEANSIDE CA

SAM CONROY

Rhythm

Click Here For Real Sano Body Tryout

SANO BOD TRYOUTS

THE POINT AMIGOS

BOCCI BALL TRYOUTS 2O10

DOGPATCH

Arnold's humor

Arnold Schwarzenegger dropped the F-bomb in a veto note to the legislature.

The governor's office calls it a random coincidence. With awkward wording in a generic note not mentioning the topic of the bill he was vetoing?

Whoever gave that explanation is a girly man. Man up Arnold. Take responsibility for your humor.

60 CAL. PISTOL Read before watching This is SO "COOL"

You may have to watch Recoil twice. Try to follow the gun. This video is
basically a 'show and tell' custom built on a Thompson fancy version of the
Thompson Contender). The Caliber....600 Nitro Express.
That's right...an elephant gun round in a handgun. The story goes that the
guy that built it is some kind of custom gun maker, and built this as an
exhibition piece. He takes it to the range with him just to show it off, and
the big guy that shot it (in the video) had been bugging the builder to let
him shoot it.

Only until fairly recently (early-mid '80's IIRC) the 600 Nitro Express was
hands down the biggest, nastiest, hardest hitting, and heaviest recoiling
weapon you could buy.
It was designed for one simple purpose...to knock an elephant flat on his
butt...., it was really built as an exhibition piece for guys 'compensating'
...

This cartridge is known for breaking collarbones, arms, shoulders....of the
shooter!



In the gun world they use what is termed a 'recoil index' to kind of give
prospective buyers an idea of what a gun kicks like.. A 30-06 gets a rating
of a 1.0, which for many people is about the limit of what they can shoot
multiple rounds comfortably.




A 243 BR is rated at like a 0.4, a 270 was like a 0.8, etc. The 600 Nitro
Express is rated at a 9.4.......9.4 times more punishing power than a 30-06.
Now watch the video

COMMON SENSE NICK HERNANDEZ

WELCOME TO WEST HOLLYWOOD

TIM KELLY

ALOHA

Dog Patch to Annex the Point

this just in, evidently the powers to be at San Onofre are finally fed up with the goings on at the Point. Multiply complaints by beachgoers to the rangers and lifeguards, prompted an investigation into the allegations. Sources closed to the investigation stated that most of the complaints were true, especially the use of illegal substances. Even though there is no Point, The Point will now be known as Dog Patch North as members of the Dog Patch crew will now be patrolling the maintaining order of The Point.

This is worth a thousand words.

YIKES!

Lee Greenwood - God Bless The USA

LAIRD HAMILTON LIVE

DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME

California Cooler commercial (1986)

HAVE AT IT, MATE

BOLSA CHICA SOUTH

ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIER

GENERATIONS

BATTLE OF THE PADDLE...

HEY YOU, GET BACK IN LINE

GOOD EATS

DECISIONS DECISIONS DECISIONS

DON'T GO SURFING

Rain Advisory
Levels of bacteria rise significantly in ocean waters during and after rainstorms. Elevated levels of bacteria may continue for a period of up to 7 days depending upon the intensity of the rain and the volume of runoff. Elevated bacteria levels in ocean water may cause someone to become ill or die. It is recommended that beach users avoid contact with ocean water for a period of 7 days after rainfall ends.

If you need to surf in a sewer, do it here:

Sewer Surf

Ersatzline 012

tubesteakmalibu's webcam recorded Video - October 13, 2009, 10:08 AM

tubesteakmalibu's webcam recorded Video - October 12, 2009, 09:41 AM

HELP WANTED

ASPHALT TRUCKS ARE WAITING

Ersatzline 003

Missing!!!

One yellow bocce ball, just like the one pictured. If y'all find it, please return it to the guys at the point.

Marge Goes Large!

Coming to the cover of Playboy magazine on October 16, 2009: Marge Simpson.

Also in the news: President Barack Obama wins Noble Peace Prize.

Can the return of Murphy be far off?

LET THE TRUTH BE KNOWN

A TON OF GRATITUDE

Do the job and get out

HitOnTank.wmv 2487K Download

This is just a sample of what our military is capable of.
Keep your eye on the projectile, watch it adjust to the target.
We need to surround and drown on Afghanistan or get the hell out.

LOG IN PLEASE

tubesteakmalibu's webcam recorded Video - September 23, 2009, 06:40 PM

LINE CUTTER GETS SHOT!

Exclusive San-O Daze video of the aftermath of the line cutting incident. Witnesses reported that a late model Escalade with 6 Soft Tops on the roof decided that he was too important to wait in line with everyone else and made an attempt to cut the line as it began to move at 6AM this morning. Several shots were fired hitting at least one subject, presumably the Escalade driver. Edison Security and Park Rangers immediatley cordoned off the area resulting in a massive traffic jam and forcing the closure of the beach. No arrests have been made, but a person of interest has been held for questioning.

Fan No. 10,000,038 of Tubesteak's Video Blog

LOSER

THE DIET IS WORKING!

BEFORE.


AND....

AFTER!

FAKE & FRAUD

Tomorrow on San-O Daze they plan to clone the Tubes. See if you can spot the difference.

WEEKEND SPECIAL

760

After 35 years in South Orange County I have relocated to North County San Diego.
All of that time was spent in the trades. I have recently closed the books on my Contracting Company to take on a new adventure.
After nearly a year of grooming my resume I have achieved my goal. I am going to climb aboard the money train, that's correct I will be employed by the U.S. Government on Camp Pendleton.
I will start my new job early in November. The attached photo is the new digs, yes I am trailer trash.

HEY, LOOK AT ME

SCOOPED AGAIN

my letter to arnold

Well Arnold you have done it again. My family camps regularly at an average of 2 weekends per year. Summer is basically every weekend with the remainder of the year 1-2 weekends a year. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Presidents Day, Children birthdays etc. We have three children and more often than not have an additional 1-2 fiends of the children along.Your cost increase in 2006 of annual passes doubling over night was a lot to swallow. We did however maintain two annual passes as we need an extra vehicle to accommodate extra kids who do not have the opportunity to camp with their own families.Now that the State has increased camping fees to such unreasonable rates for parks that are in need of repair, utility issues, bee infestation issues not dealt with, over flowing dump stations due to poor maintenance I as a California resident can tell you to stick your park system up your back side! I for one am done with the whole States ram rod up my backside. You buy my annual passes and camp spots to keep this poorly run State afloat. I will be returning to wilderness areas that don't have some State Employee in a stupid Smokey the Bear hat sitting on their hands!It is my wish that your entire State sees continued decline until the people wake up and tell Government to get the hell out of our wallets. Most of your Park Rangers think they are working some kind of work camp for criminals with attitudes that make the whole experience a jock!Good luck Arnold; you see I am just one family of five that have lots of families that camp together who all feel the same! So get a rock and start sucking something else's blood.Oh and by the way your job as acting Governor has stunk from day one!

THANKS esq.

Breaking News: Tsunami Advisory Issued for San Onofre

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Federal experts have now issued a tsunami advisory for possible dangerous currents in coastal areas of California and Oregon following a magnitude 8 earthquake in the Pacific Ocean near Samoa. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's West Coast and Alaska Tsunami Warning Center said an advisory means that a tsunami capable of producing strong currents or waves dangerous to persons in or very near the water is imminent or expected.

The earthquake had a magnitude of up to 8.3 as it struck between Samoa and American Samoa around dawn Tuesday, sending terrified residents fleeing for higher ground.

It's expected to hit Orange County at 9:16 p.m. tonight. I've got the crane with the light hooked up to the truck. Meet at the usual spot for night surfing.

Supplemental information (5:05 p.m.):
Curt Kaplan of the National Weather Service says "if I were on the coast, I would move inland."

NEW BEGINING

Tube's First

Meet the Doctor in charge of the New Government Health Care Program

HEY, SLOW DOWN!

WE WANT YOUR BUSINESS

Camel Toe - NSFW

Funnier if you imagine that you're 14 again.

Oktoberfest

Tubesteak Tribute No. 500,018 - "Live!"

Surf Dog Surf-A-Thon

The State announced today that San Onofre would host the Surf Dog Surf-A-Thon World Championships next summer, August 14-15. Pictured below are the winner's from last weekends' 4th annual Helen Woodward Surf Dog Surf-a-thon held in Del Mar. The event raises money for homeless animals at the Helen Woodward Animal Center.

There were about 100 dogs competing in the contest. Heats with four dogs surfed it out in a battle to get the top spot in their heat which took them to the finals.

The final competition was fast and furious as the dogs rushed to get in as many waves as they could in a 20 minute time frame. Dogs were scored on the length of the ride, size of the wave, and other tricks on the board, such as turning around or riding backwards. Buddy, a Jack Russell terrier from Newport Beach rode one of the last waves of the heat.

Next up for the mutts is the Surf City Surf Dog Contest in Huntington Beach on October 11th.

Woman's Division Wiener

Men's Division Winner

Ersatzline 004

Murphline
Puttzle's channel

TURN ON HEADLIGHTS NEXT 7 MILES....

Ersatzline 001

Murphline
Puttzle's channel

FIELD GUIDE TO COMMON SAN ONOFRE WILDLIFE...

Pelicanus Occidentalis

Oryctolagus Cuniculus

Biggus Sanokookukus

SOMETHING LURKS BEHIND THE KIOSK...

A cat?

A chupacabra?

Ranger Doug?

Why it's just a critter eating a slice of Cassano's freshly removed from the kiosk garbage.

A cookie for dessert...

An inquisitive look into the camera and off into the cover of darkness.

AS SEEN ON TV!

RESPECT

The Guy from Boston: No Respect

By now all of you know who Joe Lagotti is and probable have seen this video.
I don't care. Around this town you are reminded about it all the time.
And he is so right.

Rating: R
for extremely strong language.

SHOTS FIRED AT SAN ONOFRE!!!

Just a reminder...........Do Not let your kids near the water at San Onofre

Although this artisit thinks it's funny, it is a deadly serious matter.

Own One of These?

Starting right after Labor Day, the State is banning RV's from San Onofre Surf Beach. The lot directly preceding the old dirt road will be re-stripped and there will be limited spaces available on a first come, first served basis. Approximately 10 spaces. No RV will be allowed beyond the paved portion of the road due to the extreme amount of damage the oversized beasts inflict. Good riddance I say.

FILL 'ER UP WITH ETHYL ...

This is the aftermath of a would be attack on Archie Rices

by a large sea predator at San Simeon earlier today. People

think this is a joke? It will be on display at Doheny Interpretive Center.

THE ART OF THE SPOKEN WORD...

Thought for the Day

Sometimes you are encouraged about our country's future when you see
something like this.

Specifically, there is an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for
the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term..
This year's term was

"Political Correctness."

The winner wrote:

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical
minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd
by the clean end."

Reminder to go!

Make Them Stop

Image released by The Field Museum in Chicago, shows an Egyptian limestone statue, depicting Michael Jackson, carved during the New Kingdom Period, 1550 BC to 1050 BC.