Murphy, Dingo, and Puttzle are construction workers on top of a building having lunch. Puttzle has a meatball hero, Dingo has tunafish, and Murphy has knackwurst. Puttzle and Dingo are tired of having the same lunches everyday.
Puttzle says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building.
Dingo says that if he gets tunafish tomorrow he will also throw it off the building.
Murphy says that if he gets knackwurst tomorrow he will throw it off the building.
Sure enough Puttzle and Dingo open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and tunafish respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. Murphy then throws his sandwich off the building. The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knockwurst again without even looking. He responded by saying, "Because I pack my own lunch."
My wave that art in the ocean hollow be thy frame may they come until I'm done on earth man, this is heaven give us this day our daily surf and forgive us our drop-ins as we forgive those who drop in against us and deliver us from closeouts. Amen
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. Dr. Ralph came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" Doc replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
Puttzle came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" Putz responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the Superbowl, surfing, and so on.
Jose came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Mexico these days?"
The four Grossman brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
Henry got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Grossman Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now Henry Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Grossman's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show: Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. So, now you know...
Sorry, Oye. They're busy counting boxoffic receipts from their "Surfwise" . They have raked in so many sheckles from it, they'll never have to work another day the rest of their life. We Googled your name, nothing, nada, zilch, capoot, zero, cipher. Sorry, but that's show biz, baby.
17 comments:
Teacher teacher I declare,
I see Murphy's underwear!
Q: How do you get a one-armed Murphy out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Beautiful sculpture, should be in the Louve'or Smithsonian.
Murphy, Dingo, and Puttzle are construction workers on top of a building having lunch. Puttzle has a meatball hero, Dingo has tunafish, and Murphy has knackwurst. Puttzle and Dingo are tired of having the same lunches everyday.
Puttzle says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building.
Dingo says that if he gets tunafish tomorrow he will also throw it off the building.
Murphy says that if he gets knackwurst tomorrow he will throw it off the building.
Sure enough Puttzle and Dingo open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and tunafish respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. Murphy then throws his sandwich off the building. The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knockwurst again without even looking. He responded by saying, "Because I pack my own lunch."
Knock. Knock.
"Who's there?"
Argo.
"Argo who?"
[ta da]
My wave that art in the ocean hollow be thy frame
may they come until I'm done on earth man, this is heaven give us this day
our daily surf and forgive us our drop-ins as we forgive those who drop in against us and deliver us from closeouts. Amen
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. Dr. Ralph came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" Doc replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
Puttzle came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" Putz responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the Superbowl, surfing, and so on.
Jose came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Mexico these days?"
'Not About Murphy', you score a 10.
[Sonora]
No matter how youse 'Old Guys Rule' try to stretch it, there just ain't not no point there.
Almost got it by you, didn't I BW?
Dagnabbit, Clark nearly sneaked it by me. You all say there's a point at your flimsy beach. Well, I'm from Missouri, shoe me.
The four Grossman brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
Henry got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Grossman Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now Henry Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Grossman's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show: Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. So, now you know...
Charles Atlas
Now, where has F.Henry Ford been. We miss him around here.
So, F. Henry Ford is anti-semetic and hates jews, eh?
No wonder there were no Paskowitzs' in his contests!
Sorry, Oye. They're busy counting boxoffic receipts from their "Surfwise" . They have raked in so many sheckles from it, they'll never have to work another day the rest of their life. We Googled your name, nothing, nada, zilch, capoot, zero, cipher. Sorry, but that's show biz, baby.
One man's trash is another man's . . . trash
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