ONE FINE DAY ON THE LINKS

Based on a bet by Murphy the Mayor and the other members of his threesome, Peter Palmer tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Palmer managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, Murphy upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Palmers's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Palmer immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. unfortunately for Palmer the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Palmer's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Palmer broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the Murphy, and was using to balance himself. Palmer was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.