JUST THE FACTS

DUI Suspect Eats Feces
Wed, March 30, 2005
By Ivan Oder

SAN ONOFRE - An accused drunk driver tried but failed to foil a park ranger breathalyzer after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," Ranger Hal Dairywimple said. "I've never heard of anything like this before," said the 28-year state park veteran.

Arrested Sunday after his Ford van was pulled over on the dirt road just north of Dogpatch, the 59-year-old driver was loaded into a cruiser and taken to the ranger station for testing. En route, Ranger Ephriam said the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the rear of the car. After arriving at the station, he said the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine."
It didn't work, Ephriam said.

The motorist was charged with impaired driving, plus driving with more than .30 of alcohol in his system. "This fellow was in dire need of help. It's bizarre, but the effects of alcohol can make people do strange things," Ephriam said.

The cruiser took two hours to clean and "it's back on the road."