Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Monday, January 29, 2007

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Friday, January 19, 2007

New Blog Rules

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, some new blog rules are now in effect:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

As applied to women:
1. Out - "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. Out - "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. Out - "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. Out - "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. Out - "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. Out - " AIR HEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. Out - "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. Out - "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. Out - "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. Out - "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. Out - "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. Out - "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

As applied to men:
1. Out - "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. Out - "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. Out - "GETS LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. Out - "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. Out - "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL & DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. Out - "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. Out - "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. Out - "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. Out - "AFRAID OF COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. Out - "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. Out - "CRACK" you see emerging from his pants - It's "POSTERIOR CLEAVAGE "

The Train Ride

Dr. Ralph and Wednesday Addams had never met before. Both were married to other people, but found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, Dr. Ralph leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

Wow!!!! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f $%^#@& blanket."

After a moment of silence.... he farted.
Not many people know that the nuclear plant is surounded by a 3 phase electrified fence. Somehow one of the bathroom 4 guys decided to urinate on it. Here's what happened.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Nice kitty

The United Way realised that it had never received a donation from the Orange County's most successful lawyer, Sydney Carton. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?" Sydney thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that." "Secondly," says Sydney, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children." The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring a huge array of private tutors?" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea." And finally Sydney says, "So... if I didn't give any money to any of them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"
Disturbing new Saddam video! Click Here!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Nothing like some quality day time TV when it's 32 degrees at 'Nofre.
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The helpful hand man.

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DRILLING SUPRISES PARK STAFF

A crew placing bore holes as part of a tollway extension plan raises safety and ecological concerns at popular surfing beach.
SAN ONOFRE STATE BEACH – Tensions rose this week between state park rangers and toll road builders when a drilling rig appeared, apparently unannounced, on beach that could become the site of a new tollway. The drilling rig, which is excavating a series of 21 bore holes across San Onofre Surf Beach, was being operated by contractors for the Transportation Corridor Agencies when rangers first saw it Wednesday. But state parks officials said they were not notified, and became concerned about safety and potential habitat damage when they saw the drill rig. Parks officials also have expressed opposition to the proposed Foothill South toll road, which would cut lengthwise along San Onofre, slicing the beach in half from the Point to Dogpatch. "Obviously we're disappointed that we weren't notified,"Hal Dairywimple, Orange Coast District superintendent for state parks, said. "And we remain opposed to a toll road through San Onofre State Beach." Transportation Corridor Agency spokeswoman Buffy Talega said it was not her agency's responsibility to contact park rangers, but that of the military. The 2,100-acre park is still owned by the military as part of the Camp Pendleton Marine base, but is leased to state parks. The drilling crew had obtained the proper permits, Dairywimple and other parks officials said, and showed them to a ranger who approached them Wednesday.
Marine Lt. Dan said Friday that the failure to notify the rangers was the result of a communication lapse at Camp Pendleton. "We're sorry state parks didn't get word of it," he said. "It just appears to be some sort of internal communications shortcoming of some kind." Normally, he said, the base would notify the rangers as a courtesy, but members of the base's facilities staff were not aware of the timing of the drilling. On Thursday and Friday, the rangers asked the drilling crew to place safety cones around the drill site at “Oldmans” to better protect the public. The drilling is taking place at a beach frequented by surfers and kooks. Rozzelle said parks officials are investigating the matter to gain further information about the drilling. Until that is complete, he said he did not know whether state parks would take further action. The bore holes range in size from a few feet across to about 30 feet, big enough to accommodate a large bus. The holes are part of an investigation of the soils and geology on the potential toll road route. They are filled in as the drilling crew moves along. Parks officials are concerned not only for public safety, Rozzelle said, but about possible damage to habitat. "Poking holes in the beach can have adverse impacts on the resources," he said.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Wanted: Football team to coach.


This guy is going to be looking for a new job.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Illusion

Creepy Weird Statue Guy Performance.

Check this out. The introduction is in French, so you may not understand it.
Just watch the video, it is a little long and has a few hiccups but stay with it.
It is a really great illusion.

Saddam's cat needs a new home.

Here's another one for the great San-O Daze caption creating contest.
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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

San Onofre circa 1968
San Onofre 2007 (5th from right?)




Monday, January 08, 2007

Instant Beaver Kleen.


Alright laddies, here is just what the doctor ordered.Beaver Instant Kleen.
At the first sign of any discomfort,simply spray it away. Use it twice daily for three days or until discomfort subsides.

If your beaver is thrawfing, spewing or spitting, you are to late. See a doctor as soon as possible.

Friday, January 05, 2007

SAN ONOFRE (Rueters) - San Diego County Sheriffs said Friday they were hunting a man who stole a urinal from a pub toilet.

The suspect walked into bathroom #4 at the San Onofre Surfing Beach Park and made several visits to the men's toilet.

There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a backpack and walked out with the bulging sack on his back.

"He made a very, very expert job of dismantling it from the wall and turning the water off. A very professional job," Ranger Ephriam said in a video posted on the San Onofre Surf Club's
web site.

A Sheriff's spokesman said the thief may have been a tradesman.

"One of the theories is the guy is some sort of cut-price plumber who is going round and stealing parts to order," he said
.
Since there seems to be a large ammount of "unemployed" at San Onofre......
(Click on the image for better viewing)
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Thursday, January 04, 2007

HELLO!


Would someone say or do something? Get mad at me or bash a fireman,cop or even a priest.
Somebody do something .

I know immigration laws are going to get even more lax, gas cost to much, the President is an idiot, the Democrats took control and the Speaker of the House is a woman.

What the fu-k else can we expect? If it can go wrong it will go wrong.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Have You Seen This, Dingo?

BoardFisher Products Announces The Launch of A New Product Line For Surfers

Cardiff by the Sea, California January 1, 2007 BoardFisher Products will be introducing on January 1, 2007 the launch of its new business that will introduce the sport of board fishing to the surfing market.

The BoardFisher tm fishing system will base its product line on a Pat. Pend. rack system, designed and developed by the founders of the business, that will enable fishing gear to be mounted to the deck of the surfboard. The fishing rack will be the first of its kind with mounts that will universally fit any surfboard. The fishing system will include the pat. pend. BoardFisher tm rack, custom fishing box with built in pole holders, and BoardFisher accessories.

Why Board Fishing?

Board fishing is a natural extension of the surfer as a complete waterman allowing participation in a sport that is right at hand. It provides a means to get out away from shore to fish without having to have a kayak or boat, it's convenient, easy and inexpensive.

We will be constantly innovating, our latest is our lobster fishing system. We believe this to be a first off of a surfboard. Check out our web site for photos of this, tips on how to, and more.

See us at the San Diego, ASR Trade Expo Show, January 25-27th, Booth# 232

Monday, January 01, 2007

Rose Parade


Here is a birds eye view of one of the floats featured in today's Rose Parade.

HAPPY NEW YEAR


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Moon Phase