Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, revealing twelve dinner guests seated around the table for my surprise birthday dinner party.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
200-pound black sea bass shot and killed off La Jolla
May 18, 2007
The sea bass may have been well-known to local swimmers in La Jolla, authorities said. "People know that fish," said San Diego lifeguard Erik Jones. "He hangs out at 'A' buoy and has been a friend to many swimmers."
Omid Adhami, 34, faces two misdemeanor charges of unlawfully fishing in a reserve and possession of a protected species. If convicted, he faces up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine for each offense, said state Department of Fish and Game warden Erik Fleet.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
If you’re traveling to Bohn, like I need to next month, Google maps will help you drive there. Starting from the San Mateo campgrounds on Cristianitos Road, San Clemente, and for my particular trip, ending at 51519 Odenthal Road, Bohn, Google maps lays out the whole route. Pay careful attention to the need for toll monies at various points during the drive. You’ll find each step where you’ll be on a toll road carefully noted in red type. Read though the steps of the trip in advance so that you can plan appropriately, like for Step 31.
Clicking on the map above or Step 31 will take you to a Google page for this trip.
It will also work for Paris and London, just change the destination.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Discuss among yourselves. That is all.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I just hated to let the vet put Sebastian into the incinerator after he died. I thought about having him stuffed, but I didn't want to have him just lying around like more clutter. Finally I thought of a way to have him around, but also have him be functional. I put him on a shelf in the library, but my office manager says that some of the secretaries have complained. I thought women liked cats. I just don't understand women.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
In order to increase spectator interest in the surfing contest, the organizers have decided to turn the clock back to the original Olympics. All contestants will surf in the nude. The awards ceremony, being rehearsed here, will also be in the nude.