Monday, December 31, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR...


...from all us clowns at San-O Daze.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

MURPH SAVES RON!


Ron Chamberlain was surfing at 4 Doors today when a Great White shark began circling him. Luckily his faithful dog Murph swam out dragging his anchor leash and attacked and killed the shark. Happy birthday, Ron!

Baghdad TV

"Hit TV Shows in Iraq

'Husseinfeld'
'Mad About Everything'
'U.S. Military Secrets Revealed'
'Suddenly Sanctions'
'Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest'
'Matima Loves Chachi'
'Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs'
'Wheel of Fortune and Terror'
'Iraq''s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers'
'Achmed''s Creek'
'The Price is Right If Saddam Says It''s Right'
'M*U*S*T*A*S*H'
'Veronica''s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses'
'Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque'
'When Kurds Attack'
'Just Shoot Me'
'My Two Baghdads'
'Diagnosis Heresy'
'Everybody Loves Saddam Or He''ll Have Them Shot'
'Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things'
'Burka Baywatch'"

Gliding Man

Saturday, December 29, 2007

You might be a Redneck

"Redneck Driver's License Application"

Last name: ________________
First name (check appropriate box):

[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks"

Stranded

Puttzle, Dingo and the Mayor were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three people, each would get one wish.
Puttzle went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''
'Okay,'' replied the genie. And off he went.
Then Dingo went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''
And off he went.
The Mayor started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!''"

just plain funny

"Why do Scotmen wear kilts?

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sound of zippers scares the sheep away."

A Helpful Man

"A Helpful Man"

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.”
“But I'm not pregnant,” she says.
“Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says."

The Next Polar Bear Queen for 2008


She's seen here warming up with some Arobics.

Polar Bear Surf Fairy Princess 2007

She was a good sport, but found the water a little too cold. We are looking for another candidate for this New Year's Day - 2008 - event.

Jet-man: Human powered flight

Thanks, Rollo!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Pakistan: Al-Qaida killed Bhutto - Pakistan - msnbc.com

Pakistan: Al-Qaida killed Bhutto - Pakistan - msnbc.com: "Al-Qaida figure behind attack, Pakistan says
Government also reports Bhutto died of injuries from hitting her head"

HOW TO TUNE YOUR MANDOLIN

Return to Mandolin Lesson #1b

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Global Warming?


The ice packs on both ends of the earth have been growing larger according to Scientist's. So much for Global Warming! And it sure seems that these winter mornings are getting much colder at the beach than several years ago. Or are we wearing 4/3 wet suits with gloves, booties, and hoods, because we're getting wimpy! ( I know I am)

SAN-O DAZE: EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER

10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know but White people won't admit
1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not white. 3. Rap music is here to stay. 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny does not always equal sexy. 6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. 7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller. 8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5. 9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. 10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit
1. Hickeys are not attractive. 2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate. 3. Jesus is not a name for your son. 4. Your country flag is not a car decoration. 5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter. 6. 10 people to a car is considered too many. 7. 'Jump out and run' is not in any insurance policies. 8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. 9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family. 10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths white and Hispanic people know but Black people won't admit
1. O.J. did it. 2. Tupac is dead. 3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated. 4. Weddings should start on time. 5. Your pastor doesn't know everything. 6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. 7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, its a color. 8. Church does not require expensive clothes. 9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car...

Monday, December 24, 2007

MERRY CHRISTMAS


THE MAYOR WISHES YOU ALL A VERY
"MERRY CHRISTMAS"! Drive safe if you go anywhere over the HOLIDAYS.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

For You, Murphy

SUP etiquette.

Ah Jeez, Joeleen!

...Elijah gets towed-in to the monster river surfing wave known as "Tubesteak Wave" and then must be rescued before he is swept into the giant whirlpools directly behind the huge river surfing waves. Elijah Mack is the first and so far the only surfer to ride the "Tubesteak" wave.

NO GANGS


Some angered by South County gang injunctions in San Clemente.

There is a 2.2 mile area where known and suspected gang members hail. The angry ones are gang members and there families. Could it be they are just to ignorant to understand the injunctions? I live within that 2.2 miles and I for one applaud the injunctions.

Friday, December 21, 2007

THE SHORTEST DAY

UTC date and time of solstices and equinoxes
year Equinox
Mar
Solstice
June
Equinox
Sept
Solstice
Dec
day time day time day time day time
2002 20 19:16 21 13:24 23 04:55 22 01:14
2003 21 01:00 21 19:10 23 10:47 22 07:04
2004 20 06:49 21 00:57 22 16:30 21 12:42
2005 20 12:33 21 06:46 22 22:23 21 18:35
2006 20 18:26 21 12:26 23 04:03 22 00:22
2007 21 00:07 21 18:06 23 09:51 22 06:08
2008 20 05:48 20 23:59 22 15:44 21 12:04
2009 20 11:44 21 05:45 22 21:18 21 17:47
2010 20 17:32 21 11:28 23 03:09 21 23:38
2011 20 23:21 21 17:16 23 09:04 22 05:30
2012 20 05:14 20 23:09 22 14:49 21 11:11
2013 20 11:02 21 05:04 22 20:44 21 17:11
2014 20 16:57 21 10:51 23 02:29 21 23:03
Illumination of the Earth by the Sun on the day of equinox, (ignoring twilight).
Illumination of the Earth by the Sun on the day of equinox, (ignoring twilight).
The Earth in its orbit around the Sun causes the Sun to appear on the celestial sphere moving over the ecliptic (red), which is tilted on the equator (blue).
The Earth in its orbit around the Sun causes the Sun to appear on the celestial sphere moving over the ecliptic (red), which is tilted on the equator (blue).
Diagram of the Earth's seasons as seen from the north. Far right: December solstice
Diagram of the Earth's seasons as seen from the north. Far right: December solstice
Diagram of the Earth's seasons as seen from the south. Far left: June solstice
Diagram of the Earth's seasons as seen from the south. Far left: June solstice
Day arc at 0° latitude, equator
Day arc at 0° latitude, equator
Day arc at 20° latitude
Day arc at 20° latitude
Day arc at 50° latitude
Day arc at 50° latitude
Day arc at 70° latitude
Day arc at 70° latitude
Day arc at 90° latitude, pole
Day arc at 90° latitude, pole

Slow Ride

Canada probes nasty Santa letters - Weird news- msnbc.com

Canada probes nasty Santa letters - Weird news- msnbc.com: "OTTAWA - Canada's post office and police are trying to track down a 'rogue elf' who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday.
The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.
'We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,' a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper."

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

TO THE BORDER AND BACK AGAIN

Video

Recycling Criminals
Cry me a river. Keep them in Mexico.

More Pregnant Trailer Trash...

...and her mom has a parenting book?!?

Guinea Pig, Smuinea Pig. You think you got problems Archy!






















The stupid dog I adopted from the S.P.C.A. ain't right either. He got off his lease and ran to the park. By the time I huff and puff my back side up there behind him, he's already at it with a kid, who's dad starts yelling that I'm a child molester via canine proxy and the dog and me need to be registered as sex offenders! He starts hollering that he's going to hire Gloria Allred.

I tell him that it was an accident that he got off his leash and he says to me "Accident, Smaccident!" and takes a swing at me.

Breaking the news is worth a beer

Steve, Dingo, puttzle and the Mayor are surfing Old Man's when Steve suddenly is attacked and is killed instantly by a shark

After the coroner leaves with Steves body the Mayor volunteers to tell Steve's wife the terrible news. Some two hours later the Mayor returns to the Old Man's with a six-pack of beer under his arm.

Dingo ask's the Mayor, where did you get the six-pack?

The Mayor replied, Steves wife gave it to me.

What! You just told her that Steve was killed by a shark and she gave you a six-pack?

Well , before I broke the news I asked her if she was Steves widow. And, she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!

Sad thing is, Dingo, Puttzle and the Mayor were given tickets for drinking beer on the beach by Officer Doug.

last week my guinea pig was found dead


Now I realize why. This stupid dog I adopted from the S.P.C.A. aint right. The kids already love the dog, but we have a managerie of other animals loose on the property, does anyone want this dog?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

It didn't hurt me or Tuesday Weld!

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian court has ruled that a couple could not name their son "Friday" and ordered that he instead be called Gregory.
The parents registered him as Friday in the city hall and a priest even baptised him as Friday.
When the boy was about five months old, a city hall clerk brought the odd name to the attention of a tribunal, which informed the couple of an administrative norm which bars parents from giving "ridiculous or shameful" first names to children. (So "Ruby Tuesday" or "Joe Friday" would have been okay I guess!).
The tribunal said it believed the name would hinder him from developing "serene interpersonal relationships."
The family appealed but lost their case.
The appeals court ruled against Friday because it recalled the servile savage in Daniel Defoe's novel Robinson Crusoe and because superstitious Italians consider Friday an unlucky day. full story here.

SAN ONOFRE CLOSED!


Due to the recent string of shark attacks, Surf Beach will be closed until further notice. This poor fellow lost both legs yesterday at Old Mans.

Monday, December 17, 2007

PREPARE FOR BATTLE!


It's hard to believe that this goes on in the USA, much less the Capistrano Unified School District! Click here to find out more!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Gripe session


This was given to me this morning while on my walk!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Moe Saves Man in Extreme attack

An injury was sustained at San Onofre today. An unknown type of large predator attacked "Colby K" At Old Mans, He was airlifted to the regional trauma center at Mssion Viejo where he underwent surgery to save his life, This is the 11th attack this season, the State Parks Dept. has been able contain all the news media exposure surrounding thses attacks, but we know better! Tell a friend about the dangers of surfing, especially at San Onofre.

Snow Queen & Princesses





















Our Snow Queen and Princesses from this year's Christmas parade.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Photo Shoot


Let's face it, going to any California traffic court is a pain. No one wants to waste their time at a place which makes you feel like you have no chance of winning. And that is EXACTLY what the courts wants you to think: it's far easier to pay the fine or take traffic school than to fight your ticket. In reality, they've set up the system, not for justice but for revenue, otherwise why would they make it so convenient to pay up?

Unfortunately, most drivers are completely unaware of their legal rights when they attend traffic court. That's why most unprepared drivers are quickly found guilty. Don't let this happen to you if you're holding a red light camera ticket! First of all, the photos are viewed by the private company that maintains the cameras,guilty looking photos are sent to local authorities. Alleged violators receive a citation in the mail, and must pay a hefty fine. This is unconstitutional, you have been denied the right to appear in front of your accuser.

No Tress Were Harmed In Making This Parade Float




















Rather than cut down a tree for our parade float in my hometown this year, we built the tree out of some available aluminum. Just doing our part to keep it green.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Side by side...Take 2

Posted by Picasa

Sunday, December 09, 2007

side by side

In a recent unscientific comparison, I noticed uncanny similarities between these two.

The Sandbar Was Going Off This Morning

Friday, December 07, 2007

Rednecks

Like I said, Rednecks, always good for a laugh.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

1977

Exercise Your Right To Vote


You fools missed it!


Trail 6 was the spot this morning. While Nofre was victory at sea, Trails was going off!!!! Sorry you missed it.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Attack At San Onofre


We have mentioned this many times here at San-O Daze and it is worth repeating. Surfing at San-O is extremely dangerous as there are many types of wildlife there besides the frequent Great Whites. Above is the aftermath of an alligator attack that took place this morning outside of bathroom #4. Be careful. Better yet, stay away.

Moon Phase