Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Junk

JUNK, JUNK, JUNK!!! And still there was a crowd.

Monday, May 30, 2005

More than 300 arrested at San Onofre over Memorial Day weekend

SAN ONOFRE, Ca. - More than 300 people have been arrested so far during this year's Memorial Day weekend at San Onofre, and partygoers were generally worse behaved than in the past, park rangers said Sunday. Rangers estimated that more than 200,000 people jammed onto Surf Beach for a celebration of being from Talega and culture known as Inland kook Beach Week during the three-day weekend. But rangers said they were ready for the deluge of tourists. "It's a challenging weekend," said Hal Dairywimple, a park spokesman. "No other weekend compares to Memorial Day." Dairywimple said 324 arrests were made since Thursday night, mostly for disorderly conduct, disorderly intoxication and misdemeanor drug arrests. Last year there were 140 arrests during the same period. About 600 undercover and rangers in uniform were on patrol, Dairywimple said. Park rangers were being assisted by San DiegoCounty police, City of San Clemente police, and the Camp Pendleton military police. In 2001, a massive yet unexpected crowd caught the park by surprise. Rangers struggled with crowd control, and unruly behavior was prevalent. After that, the state developed a major events plan to deal with the Memorial Day parties. Last year, about 500 rangers, some in riot gear, worked the Point district, three-quarters of them on the 6 p.m to 6 a.m shift "It's as busy as its ever been," Dairywimple said. "The behavior of the partygoers is a lot worse than in years past."

At the Zoo

San Zoonofre was at it again today. Ranger P. was spinning in circles this morning, the crowd was so unforgiving. She was on her PA system all morning with speeders and even a Yaker tried to paddle his way out at 4doors, but she nabbed him before he could make it out to the break. Come on! Read the rules before you go there people. Rules at SanO apply to everyone no one is exempt! Don't think, Oh, the rules don't apply to me because I'm new or you can't (or won't) follow rules. And don't think because you have a annual pass or pay the day use fee that you can do what you want. Here's what can happen, You can be sited by the Ranger and kicked out for the day or if it warrants it, the Ranger can take your annual pass and throw you out for good! SanO is for everyone who comes in to enjoy, not for a few who think they can do what they want and to hell with anyone else, it doesn't work that way! The speed limit is posted at 15 mph, but you should drive only at a speed that is safe, just like on the street. If its crowded keep it slow there are kids running around and old guys playing in the road, be considerate and try not to raise dust as you go by, no one wants to breath that, not even you. Its going to be very crowded this summer so please obey the rules and be thoughtful of others and lets all surf and enjoy our great beach. And before you leave please police your area and pick up the trash so the next person at that spot can enjoy it with stepping in someone elses mess. If you don't know the rules, ask the park aid at the gate for a copy, make your stay and everyone elses a fun one. Thanks for listening. More later---------maybe

Tardy Puttzle's Corner

Sorry for the lack of posting the last few days. I have been busy and my computer and surfboards are now in a container that will soon be on it's way to my next stop in life. I am on a borrowed machine, so my posting for the next 10 days will be sporadic at best. The surf had a little size today and it would have been terrific except for two things. The south wind was totally screwing it up and the Talegalites were all down for the day. You would not believe what was going on in the water. People taking off (and that is being kind), crashing in to each other, pearling, just kooking in general. I guess today is either the one day some of these yahoos go in the water (see, I have a hard time calling what they do surfing), or it marks the beginning of their surf "season", which I'm sure ends on Labor Day. Good luck folks!

Saturday and Sunday the park was maybe 2/3 full for most of the morning, according to reliable sources. The turn-around didn't form yesterday until 4:00 pm. Today it was a zoo and a half. People flipping each other off, horns a honkin' and of course speeding. A lot of out of the area inland license plates. I did not take my camera. That's a good thing because I would have used up all the memory card on idiots. Ranger P., all alone for some reason, had her hands full. Right off the bat we spot some guy paddling his KAYAK out at the Point, which we all know is not allowed. He made it out about 20 yards before Ranger P. got on her loudspeaker and told him to exit, stage left. Meanwhile, cars are whizzing by, so off she has to go chasing them down. Then somebody with a 84 foot trailer wants to park blocking 3/4 of the road and they get pissed when informed "no can do". They definitely needed additional rangers down there, but we heard the donut shop was having a special and that's where the others were.

Thanks to all the guys who took the G-ster and me (did I get that correct mom?) out for breakfast this morning. I'm going to miss you folks...

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

Short post today. No surf. I was too busy helping load the container for the move that some of my family members are making, as am I. See you tomorrow.

Friday, May 27, 2005

PENIS CLOSES ROAD TO SAN ONOFRE

A large fake penis has caused a major terror alert at San Onofre. A key highway to San Onofre was closed after a driver spotted what looked like a pipe bomb near the nuclear power plant. Fearing terrorists were trying to blow up the structure, rangers closed Basilone for an hour. But on closer inspection rangers found that the 'device' was actually a foot-long plastic penis. "Someone took construction-grade plastic, moulded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape," said Ranger Hal Dairywimple. The bomb squad was brought in to handle the situation and a remote-controlled robot used to make the fake penis safe. Dairywimple said "these types of toys are quite common at trail six and often wash up at San Onofre Surf Beach during south swells".

Puttzle's Corner

If the surf yesterday was pathetically small, I don't know what to call today. If you threw a large rock into the water you would generate a ripple that would rival anything from this morning. It is flat, flat, flat. Conditions however, are epic! Most of the conversation today revolved around the late Dale Velzy. As Murphy had mentioned, he will be missed by the surf community.

In preparation for the big Memorial Day weekend, the park will be posting the following notice (editor's comments in parenthesis):
WELCOME TO SAN ONOFRE SURF BEACH
Today we are experiencing a
(Talegalite invasion) full parking lot. When this happens we do what is called "a turn around". Please make sure that you go through the metal gate as directed, stay to the right and follow the dirt road all the way around the loop and park behind the last vehicle in line. Please do not drive off road, and please (keep the line moving!) do not leave your vehicle. The wait is only temporary (2+ hours). When one vehicle drives out past the station, the first vehicle in line may go. Please wait for the parking attendant (what? No valet?) to direct you. Once again, welcome to San Onofre Surf Beach. We hope that you will (stay away from the Point) enjoy your stay! EOM

Now I would never sit in that line for even 15 minutes, let alone the normal 2 hours that people wait. I've never been able to figure that out.

Here's a fun site.

I guess they needed the exercise.

Keep in mind this 'wave' is about 1 foot.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Good-Bye Dale

I just heard from a very reliable source that about an hour ago Dale Velzy passed on. Our prayers go out to his family. The surfing world has just lost a real Icon! The father (I believe) of the modern surfboard. He will be remembered in our hearts. So lets save a spot in the line-up because he will always be there. More later-------maybe

Puttzle's Corner

What a morning! First, as Dingo mentioned below, the sharks are in the area. Heck, we've known that, it's not like this is recent. Ranger Dairywimple decided to reopen this morning. To top it off, there are stingray all over the place because there is so much sand right now and the water is warm. Ranger P. had to rush a person to emergency this morning after he stepped on a ray, at least that's what we think. For all we know he could have been nipped by Fluffy. This happened down at Old Man's, so I don't have totally accurate info. However, I would urge anybody planning on a trip to San Onofre to call the park to confirm that it is open for surfing.

The surf, if you could call boat wakes surf, was pretty darn pathetic. With the sightings, I couldn't believe how many people went out. Seriously, there was a few ankle biters, but it was enough for 2 people. Who are Talegalites. And desperate. But no, it was easily in double digits. Fun. Not.


For those of you who are unfamiliar with who Fluffy is, it's a Great White shark! She and her co-horts, Sparky and Archie, are well known to area surfers from San Onofre all the way down to Trail 6. I don't take any credit for naming them, I don't know who gets that honor, since they were named well before I came along.

Speeders are all today.

Old Man's. I swear that is a set!

Just in time for memorial day.

SAN ONOFRE State lifeguards closed San Onofre State Beach to surfers after three or four sharks -- some as long as eighteen feet -- swam as close as 100 yards to shore today. Video--Shark Sightings "It's better to have the area closed to surfers so no one is in danger," Ranger Hal Dairywimple said in a broadcast report. Dairywimple said officials will decide tonight whether to reopen the area tomorrow. "Our main concern is public safety," Dairywimple said. Authorities have determined the species of shark sighted off the coast were Great Whites and there were concerns the animals may be potentially dangerous. Lifeguards in a boat who motored out to where the sharks swam today expressed concern that one shark did not appear to be alarmed by the approach of the humans. Dairywimple said sharks frequently will swim away when a boat approaches. "This one wasn't bothered by the boat," said Dairywimple. "In fact, he swam up to the boat to investigate it."

Editors note: The video mistakenly identified the area as Pacific Palisades. In fact, the video was shot at San Onofre Surf Beach near "Old mans". We apologize for the mistake.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

I had a lot more fun this morning. I was a machine. Within 15 minutes I had as many rides as yesterday. I thought it was the opposite of yesterday, I'm calling better than it looked. I don't know how many waves I caught, somewhere in the mid-teens probably. Nothing memorable for me, but good exercise in a pleasant environment. I got out after 45 minutes or so. Lots of small 1-3 footers were coming through and we all took advantage, the crowd being a lot more manageable today. Low tide and some of the smaller lefts were sucking out over the Sandbar and taking their mini-toll.

I have some stuff to attend to today, so my post is short (APPLAUSE). Speeding people are there and more pics are here.

Nextel Larry watching Wolfie.

The water temp was nice, but not this nice!

Hawaiian Surf Club

The Hawaiian Surf Club is having their annual luau at the San Clemente community center this weekend. Here are a few phrases that will help you fit in.

My wife will pay the bill when she returns
Aia no a ho'i mai ka'u wahine, nana ka pila e uku aku.

These really nice napkins seem to match my underclothing
Ku maika'i keia mau kawele pepa i ke 'ano o ko'u 'a'ahu palema'i.

This Merlot is an ungrateful bitch
He kanapapiki mahalo 'ole keia mea inu Merlot ia'u.

Waiter, my papaya has been previously fondled
E ke kuene, ua milimili 'e 'ia neia mikana!

The busboy has cursed me and I am ashamed
Ua ho'ohalahala 'ia mai nei au na ke kuene, a hilahila ihola au.

Pardon my flatulence, but I had refried beans and poi for breakfast
E kala mai i ka palale, i ka palali; aka ua 'ai aku nei i papapa mo'alua a me ka poi i ke kakahiaka nei.

A Sheriff Bob story

A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. Sheriff Bob was approaching , thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse." As he got closer, it became apparent that she really WAS hanging out. When Sheriff Bob came face to face with the woman, he said, "Miss, are you aware that I could arrest you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" the woman asked. "Well," said Sheriff Bob, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse." The woman quickly looked down and exclaimed, "Shit, I left the baby on the bus!"

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

I'm baaack. The surf looked great upon arrival, fairly glassy conditions and 2-3 ft. low tide peaks. My take: it looked better than it was. I believe I am the only one who thought that. Grumpy got some good rides, JohnnyV. looked to be getting some good rides, actually EVERYONE looked to be getting good rides...except puttzle. I didn't feel off (yes FEEL, not FELL) but the waves seemed to have not a lot to them. To top it off, the crowd hit very early. Quite a few youngsters who looked like they had too much coffee. My session, if you could call it that, lasted about 30 minutes and consisted of 5 or 6 waves, not one do I remember. But that's me.

Ryan and his buddy, I think his name might be Brett, simply shred on their longboards. And you won't find a couple of nicer people to share time in the water with. I watched this morning when a sweet set came right at Ryan. I figured he would be all over it. Nope, he turned to Hor-hay and I think McTavish Bob, ATFLSOTWC and deferred to them. One went right, one went left. There was not another wave behind, this one was the best of the set. No muss, no fuss. I appreciate guys like that.

Of course the speeders are up and I stuck a few more pictures on puttzle's pics. Most of the pictures from today had focusing problems. That's they way the cookie crumbles.

McTavish Bob, ATFLSOTWC.

Da Grumpster.

Now you know what really happened to his foot!

Murphy's foursome was on the last hole and when Murphy drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend. After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, badly beaten up and limping. They all wanted to know what happened. He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his. A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The ever helpful Murphy lifted the cow's tail and asked, "Does this look like yours?" That was the last thing he could remember!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Murphy goes to the Doctor

Murphy had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors.The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

Puttzle's Corner

Finally, it's my last day in Arizona! I will definitely be back at San-O tomorrow morning. I think I will go in the water regardless of the conditions, maybe without a wetsuit. It is so dang hot here it's not even funny. The only water I have been in is the shower and that doesn't cut it. I am counting the hours until I board that plane back to southern California.

You wouldn't believe this place. In Arizona, they don't call them illegal aliens or immigrants, they call them "entrants". They are dying right and left with this heat as they attempt to cross the desert. A part of me feels sympathy for them, but a part of me doesn't quite understand why they attempt entering the way they do. Desperate is the only explanation I can think of. You would think V. Fox would discourage them, but that is not the case, I have heard that they actually bus them toward the border and encourage them to make a run for it. This had got to stop!

In the area newspaper, they had a picture of Santa Monica beach taken yesterday and it was packed. I did a double take because it was real hard to find a white person in the picture...

Nuff said. P out.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

From the Mayors Office

Well, San ZOOnofre lived up to its name again today. Again the fog came in and so did the snakes, kooks and hoppers! It could have made "America's Funniest Home Video's " this morning if someone would have taped the show." Baby Turns" brought down Crispy Cream donuts this morning so eveyone had coffee and donuts and watched the show. "Clay-massion" went out and put on a show, but it wasn't him because he surfs better! He hopped Ryan twice on good waves while Ryan was standing perched on the nose. Possibly a new canidate for the "HALL OF SHAME"! More later-----maybe

Sunday Service

I sure miss the ocean! All my life I have lived on or near the beach, being stuck in the desert is not for me. One more day and I get to return. Yippee! I'm glad I made this trip to see my mother and stepfather, since I won't be able to travel here once I move...unless I hit the lottery and become independantly wealthy. Fat chance of that.

Mr. Mayor, I was wondering if the Grumpster made it down today. I know he had his wisdom teeth removed Friday, hopefully it went well.

Short service this morning, hope everyone has a wonderful day. I'll be staying close to the AC. Puttzle out.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

From the Mayors office

Today was a ZOO! The line to get in was as long as any summer weekend. The surf was a high tide mushy bumpy sloppy mass of boards and body's, and to make things worse, the whole Webster Fornicator team was out for a photo session and almost every one of them was leashless. The fog again arrived and so did the onshore winds, so most of the locals were leaving early. When I left about 8:30 the turnaround was full and Ranger P was turning cars back at the bottom of the access road. We had a visit this morning before the gate opened from Edison Security guards 307alpha and 307bravo it was good to see them and remember for those of you who want to get in line early at the gate, if you get there before 4:30am Edison Security will make you leave. They patrol the whole area of the park (as a courteousy to the state) and the Edison power plant and they are armed with automatic weapons and all are ex-military so they know how to police and defend the area. Well thats about all from San Zoonofre, more later------maybe

Hi Puttz!

Roasting In Puttzle's Corner

I don't know how anyone can stand living in this heat! I sure couldn't. One of the reasons my mom moved here was because housing-wise, it's cheaper here (where isn't?). She does have a lovely home, but for the next 4 or 5 months it will regularly hit in the 100's. Not much outside activity. What really confuses me is the lack of swimming pools, you'd think every house would have one, but that is not the case, at least in this area (Tubac/Green Valley, which is below Tucson). When I flew into Phoenix on my way here I noticed a few pools, but not that many either. Maybe it has something to do with evaporation. Hard to figure. Today is expected to hit 106 and the next two days 107. I will be glad to get home where it isn't so hot!

I hope the surf is good for all the weekend Talegalites, my only regret is not being there to watch all the fun, and of course snap a few pictures. Oh well, that should resume on Tuesday. Puttzle out.

Friday, May 20, 2005

From the Mayors office

It was a beautiful morning at the gate, but by the time it was ready to open the line was down the hill and half way down the road to the lower stop sign. (it looked like a weekend) The surf was really bad and the fog came in so heavy you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, and the water is about 57 degrees! Kooks and hoppers were out in force, and we miss Puttzle's camera. One of the pro's (you know the ones that don't wear a leash because their so good) lost his board and was walking in on the rocks when another pro loose's his board and it washes in right behind the first pro who was unaware and it nailed him right behind the knee's and took him down. When will you kooks learn? Wear a F---ing leash and stop being stupid and dangerous, the place is getting to crowded and with no Lifeguard someone is really going to pay the price one day! If you think your that good, GO UP TO LOWERS and be dangerous there. If your not sure of what to do there's a book at Talega Surf&Sport called "KOOKS LIKE ME", it will tell you everything you need to know about surfboard safety and wave ediquette. If its to hard to understand, STAY OUT OF THE WATER! More later-----maybe

Hi! Puttz!

Puttzle's Corner Is Stuck In Arizona

I'll bet the surf is going off today if the reports are accurate. I guess that is something I will just have to deal with. Previously when I was absent, the surf was junk and I didn't miss much. I have a feeling this time is different. That's the way it goes.

It was hot here yesterday, but not as hot as predicted. Today I think will be a different story as it is pretty dang warm right now at 9:15 in the a.m. Waking up this morning at my usual 'go surfing' time, I walked outside to look at the sky. Let me tell you, there were a lot of stars out. The Milky Way was visible and it looked way different than when we see it from San Onofre, much larger. I also saw 2 satellites (in tandem). After that, I experienced sensory overload, so I went back to bed for a couple more hours.

Hope all is well for everybody and that things aren't too out of control. Did you get your sign yet, Murphy? Puttzle out.

RANGER FIRES GUN AT BEACH PARKING LOT

SAN ONOFRE.No one is hurt as ranger shoots into car

A park ranger shot into a car in the parking lot of San Onofre Surf Beach Wednesday as hundreds of surfers watched. No one was hurt in the incident, but the gunfire brought crime scene tape and ranger activity rarely seen at the point or in its surrounding areas. "It was really scary," Murphy the Mayor said. "It was something you see on TV, not in real life." The incident began about 6:25 a.m., minutes after theopening of the gate sent hundreds of surfers into the parking lot . Riding with a friend in a black Escalade SUV, Stu Talega zipped through the parking lot looking for waves, he said. When the SUV pulled to the entrance gate, a ranger approached and told them to stop, but Talega ignored the order and drove away, he said. "I wasn't thinking. . I don't like the rangers. I was just trying to get away," the 48-year-old said, adding that he had been stopped and questioned by rangers on three previous visits. Rangers chased the car as it sped through the lot. It almost reached the parking lot exit before a ranger cut it off, prompting the driver to speed down the dirt road in reverse and nearly hit surferss walking to the water, witnesses said. At one point, a local threw a surfboard in front of the SUV, which dragged the board about 40 feet before getting stuck on a rock in the middle of the road, witnesses said. Talega put the SUV in reverse to try to free the board, and that's when one of the rangers fired. "I guess he thought his life was in danger," Murphy said. The driver surrendered after the shooting, which left a single bullet hole in the driver's side door just below the window. . Hal Dairywimple, spokesman for the State parks, said the driver would be charged with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon against a ranger and reckless endangerment. . Rangers found open containers of Starbucks in the SUV, Dairywimple said. Stu Talega is being held without bail at the Vista jail.

This story stinks!

Murphy was a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they had a lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So making the supreme sacrifice, he gave up baked beans. They were married shortly thereafter. Months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and he had to walk home. On the way home, he went into a small cafe and called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. After making the call, he smelled baked beans in the cafe. They were the best beans he had ever smelled! He could not resist and had three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he had gas. His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming,"darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the dining room table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned. Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner. He figured that he must be done. But then he made a third fart. This one made the flowers at the table wilt! Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him. While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom. He was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked. He assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise -- Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Millions of stars

Puttzle and Murphy are camping in the desert. Puttzle sets up their tent and both are soon asleep. Some hours later, Puttzle wakes his faithful friend. "Murphy, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Murphy replies, "I see millions of stars." What does that tell you?" asks Puttzle? Murphy ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Puttzle is silent for a moment, and then says, Murphy, you pendejo. Someone has stolen our tent

From the Mayors office

Well Puttzle is in Arizona this week and things are real quiet at the Point. Speeders are on a tear, hoppers are coming out is droves. The waves are about 1 to 3 with some 4 footers clean conditions and some pretty good shape, but it is inconsistant. This morning aTalegalite pulls in and parks next to Grumpy and suits up, but before he goes out he sets a cardboard box on the hood of his car and puts a towel over it to hold it in place, then sets a small cam-corder in the box and turns it on then goes in the water. (whats up with that?) If the guy wanted to take videos of himself he will be laughed at because he was a total KOOK, but then he is a Talegalite so thats to be expected. Our resident vagrant was leaving the park this morning but no Ranger came down so he got away with another free stay. Well I've got to go ice my foot, so more later-----maybe

The internationally beloved unt Puttzle will be back on Tuesday.

Ranger Bitten By Snake While Using Bush As A Toilet

San Onofre- May 12, 2005

A female park ranger who decided to defecate in a bushy area because toilets were too far, got more than she had bargained for when she was bitten by a snake on her buttocks. The 29-year-old woman who is employed by the state parks gave out a scream when the snake struck her bottom, alerting her colleagues who rushed to her aid. State spokesman Hal Dairywimple said the woman who declines to be named was to blame, charging: "She knows where the toilets are." According to Dairywimple, the woman chose to relieve herself in the bush because there were no toilets near the main entrance where she was manning the gate. Recounting her ordeal, she said: "I felt a painful sting and I ran screaming for help towards my colleagues. However, that is all I can remember because when I woke up I found myself in a hospital bed." Other rangers who came to her aid say they saw a snake escaping into the thick bush near bathroom#4 and immediately summoned for an ambulence. She was admitted for two nights at the nearby San Clemente Hospital. Another ranger said: "The situation is really pathetic as we are exposed to danger because we are forced to use the bush as a toilet. We have tried to ask the state to build some toilets for us on several occasions, but up to now they have not done anything about it." Murphy, the Mayor of San Onofre, had no sympathy for the ranger."I heard that there was a female ranger who was bitten by a snake, but I am not sure what she was doing at the time. However, if she was relieving her self in the bushes then that is not the state’s fault as they know where the nearest toilets are if they need to relieve themselves," he said.

Puttzle's Corner Arizona Edition

Damn! I come to Arizona to visit my mom and what does the local paper say about the weather? Summer is here in Arizona. Today's high is expected to hit 100, but that won't be as bad as the following four days. 105, 106, 106, 106! Oh joy. But it's a dry heat! Yeah right, hot is hot no matter how you cut it, and puttzle doesn't like it this hot.

I brought my camera and was going to share a photo or two of my adventures in Arizona but have run into a few roadblocks. First off, I forgot the cable to connect the camera to the computer. Then, I find my mom has a Mac. I am not a Mac person, but I am now playing on it and will learn something about it's use. Having always used Windows systems, it is foreign to me. Plus she's got AOL (GROAN), so things are slow, but I will have to get used to that as my next stop will also be on a dial-up connection.

I'm sure the speeders and hoppers are having a field day in my absence. Enjoy it while you can.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

Surf was a lot of fun today, at least if you beat the fast arriving crowd. 2-4 feet with better shape than it has been. I surfed for about an hour then called it a day, at least surf-wise. I got some satisfactory rides and one memorable bad one on which I pearled up to my neck dropping in. I also got a nice little cover on a sweet right, so all-in-all a good session. There is a south wind blowing and it is kind of messing it up, but it was still decent when I left around 9:00. Earlier the wind was offshore and that lasted until around 8:00. It was kind of sideshore at last look. Most of the conversation lately is about all the people coming early. It sure does appear that the summer crowd has arrived early as about 20 new guys show up within 30 minutes of opening, and they are different from day to day. That is too many and it messes up the early session. They don't try to fit in and then they bring their friends. Me, I can shrug my shoulders because I am a short timer, but I feel bad for the regulars and what this will mean. Our friend Tubesteak has said many times, just wait until this summer.

Around 8:30, Ryan and his pals showed up and put on a show. I love watching that guy surf. Hor-hay was also there and it was good to see him as he has been scarce lately. I stuck 32 speeders on their own site and have posted more photos of the action.

Mickey, you were a holy terror out there this morning, people are not happy. If you want to be the next target, I will be happy to oblige. I could name a few others also, but will hold off as one at a time is enough. So Mickey, I guess you are up...and slow down on the dirt road.

For something different, check out this video. Talegalite.

I will be in Arizona until Monday evening. If we're lucky, the Mayor will keep us (ME!) updated.

Goes right on a left. Belongs at Dogpatch.

About 7:00 this morning.

Now Here's A Hard Luck Story...MAN HAS ERECTION FOR A YEAR!

Editors note....not to be confused with Sheriff Bob or Occifer K.

Officer Bob (OB) took an erectile dysfunction pill and made medical history by having a rock hard erection for 365 days, even though doctors warned it could permanently damage his penis. "Who cares? At least I'll go out happy," says OB, a 60-year-old surfer and highway patrolman who frequents San Onofre. "I had a bulge in my pants the size of a zucchini. I shtupped my kid's second grade teacher, the cleaning lady, salesgirls, my mother-in-law. They all got a taste of Herbie the Love Bug." The surfer/cop explains that he was suffering from work-related stress, which kept him from performing in the bedroom. "My wife said: 'That's alright, it happens to everybody.' But it never happened to me before. "I tried imagining Jessica Simpson naked, I tried shacking up with a sleazy ho who talked dirty and spanked me -- nothing helped." OB visited the local office of Dr. Ralph Oppenheimer, a proctologist who wrote his patient a prescription. "I warned him if he was aroused for more than four hours to seek medical attention immediately," says Ralph " OB says: "I ignored that wussy advice. At every appointment I'd nail his nurse and receptionist. It was the best year of my life."

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Mayor gets $14,000 surfboard as gift

SAN ONOFRE(Reuters) - A $14,153 surfboard with accessories, a $2,700 bike and thousands of dollars worth of fishing gear topped the list of gifts received by Murphy the Mayor last year. While the mayor's gift list had a distinctly outdoorsy theme, Ranger Hal Dairywimple received more artsy presents such as paintings and a statue, according to annual financial disclosure documents released on Friday. Dairywimple gave Murphy a $595 desk clock for Christmas that is currently telling time in his camper. Murphy gave Dairywimple a $425 floor globe. In 2004, Murphy received gifts that totaled $26,346, many from friends at the Point, and about four times the $5,934 value of gifts given to Dairywimple. The most expensive single gift Murphy received was the surfboard with "accessory " from Talega Surf & Sport.. Don Puttzle, the mayor's close friend and former commerce secretary, gave him a fishing rod, shirt, three caps and fishing bait valued at $208; a hardcover book worth $240; and a $149 Dodge van. Murphy received a total of five golf clubs, with the most expensive priced at $900 with travel case. Murphy an avid golfer, received a $20,700 golf cart that he uses in the shorecliffs area, and balls, gloves and other equipment worth $532. Classical pianist Van Cliburn from Texas gave Murphy $650 gold cuff links. And for his cowboy wardrobe, Murphy received a brown pair of $295 cowboy boots from Rocky Carroll of Houston, Texas, and a $400 cowboy hat from Mickey Foster of Austin, Texas.

Dairywimple received a $1,600 painting, a $700 replica of a statue outside of Cabella's store in Minnesota, and an $800 framed landscape painting. He also received a $490 sterling silver engraved bowl, a $350 silver apple made by Fornari and Fornari, as well as a $120 Namiki Vanishing Point Black Carbonesque pen. Family friend Tubesteak gave Dairywimple 12 bottles of assorted wines valued at $699. The mayor and ranger are required to report gifts from beach goers that cost more than $285. They are not allowed to accept personal gifts from foreigners or kooks.

Human Turd Banned From Beach


Photo by Puttzle Adams
San Onofre - A man dressed up as a giant piece of feces has been refused entry to San Onofre Surf Beach. The man arrived as 'Mr Floatie' to represent POOP, People Opposed to Outfall Pollution, park officials said. But the guard at the kiosk refused him entry. The man said he wanted to protest against the daily dumping of 120 million gallons of raw sewage into the Pacific ocean. He said he was "a little bummed out" by gate guard Don's refusal to let him in and that San Onofre should look good for the 2005 surf contest season if it didn't want to get a "brown medal".

Puttzle's Corner

Surf was so-so this morning, the southish wind kind of funked it up. I went out for some reason, I guess I needed exercise since I ate a whole medium pizza last night. I was a pig! Waves were 2-4 with a high tide which is dropping. I was hoping it would get better, but after about 45 minutes I removed myself from the line-up, which was all over the place. It wasn't getting better. By 7:00, there were 18 people out there, about half of them kids, probably 11-15 years old. All of them on longboards. The vast majority of them could surf! Girls and guys. I hate that! The way they can plant their 90 pound bodies on the tip piss me off, but it's just because I am jealous. They were hooting and hollering and having a blast, we old farts should take note. They weren't hopping that I noticed, they were well behaved. That is not the norm as some of the groms who come out there are a royal pain in the butt. Not this group. They didn't seem to come to the beach together, all arrived at different times and went out at different times.

When The School Teacher/Fisherman came in, all he said was "there are too many people for the amount of surf coming through." I would wholeheartedly agree, but that is how most days are at San Onofre. I have a hard time understanding how people can look and see that not one wave is going unridden, yet they rush out there. That is foremost on my mind when I am observing. Quite often, even though it is crowded, a lot of waves go unridden because the kook factor comes into play. Those days, if so inclined, one could get some. Today, that was not how it was.

The speeders, although late in arriving, made their presence known. I've put some more pics up also.

Clearly HOPPING!

Lots of kids out this morning.

Monday, May 16, 2005

How long have you been coming to SanO

This morning Puttzle and I were sitting at the gate about 5:15am, when this car pulls up behind Puttz gets out of his car walks up to us and ask's "When did they start closing this gate"? (upper gate) We said, its always been locked, but before we got a chance to explain about the rains and why its been open and he say's "uh,uh! Its the lower gate they lock! Puttzle and I just looked at each other and thought the same thought "man how long have you been coming to SanO? Then it hit us "TALEGALITE" to the max!!! Then he walks back to his car after we try to explain, hangs a u-turn and hawls away. More later-------maybe

Puttzle's Corner

Not much to report this morning. As is often the case, 1 of the 3 things I use to measure whether the waves are worth it or not was missing. Tide was sweet, there was some surf (1-3 ft.), but the wind was wrong. I hate it when that happens.

There were a couple of Naval ships offshore and 3 or 4 of the hovercrafts speeding back and forth between the two larger ships and the base on shore. It's amazing just how loud those hovercrafts are. To be a crewman on one must be tough on the hearing. What?

I will stick a couple more pictures from today on puttzle's pics. Don't worry, the speeders didn't disappoint. The weather sucks, enjoy it.


They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Not good.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Sunday Service

Good morning! Surf was similar to yesterday, perhaps a tad larger. When I walked out of the place I live this morning, the wind was from a southerly direction. I tossed my wetsuit in the car and decided to leave my board, figuring it would be crap. I was pleasantly surprised when the gate opened (by the way, we are back at the upper gate) and we got down to the beach. The conditions, while not perfect, were a lot better than I expected. What to do, what to do, me with no board. Professor Ralph allowed me to take out his 10' Velzy Surftech. He never surfs early, he waits for the Talegalites to arrive, as does SANOMAN (nice name). I thought I'd go out and terrorize all the regulars. I hurried into my wetsuit, grabbed his board and strapped on the leash. Usually, no always, I walk to the water before putting on the leash. Sometimes I'll walk out into the surf a bit before strapping it on. Today, I did it at the car. I hopped (no jokes here) off the dirt onto the sand and started jogging toward the surf...and promptly fell flat on my face. Fortunately for me I realized only Professor Ralph was around at the moment, so I rolled over onto my back and started laughing, which of course is what the good Professor was doing. After calming down, I went out where Euell Gibbons was sitting with a silly grin on his face. "You saw it all, didn't you", I said. He just nodded his head and laughed. So at least two people saw it all. You both can stop laughing now.

I couldn't believe how light that board was, it's lighter than my 9' Hobie (my usual ride). I figured I could turn that puppy without using a paddle or rudder. Wrong! While catching the wave was easy, turning was not. I like to drop to the bottom and lay it out on my turns. My first few waves were cruisers where that was not necessary. I finally grabbed a nice right, dropped to the bottom and cranked. OK, I tried to. My body turned just fine but the board went straight. Damn! In I went. The mayor graciously allowed me to try out his 7'10" Takayama Tuff-Lite. As I have mentioned, a 9' Hobie is my normal board, I traded a 8' Yater Signature model for it and have not regretted it for a second (I love the Hobie!). I traded the Yater because it was too squirrelly for this old geezer. While I was pretty 'out of control' on the DT, I did have some fun. My first wave, a left, I dropped in and did my usual crank off the bottom. The board pivoted around the tail. That was it, no speed, the board just stopped, because that isn't the right way to ride it. I got a couple more waves and started getting more comfortable with it, but I don't see myself getting one. I do want to go down in size, especially after I make my move, but I'm thinking 8'2" or 8'6" would do me better. I'll just have to wait and see.

Once again, by 6:30 it was getting packed. The speeders were there as always, these knuckleheads just don't get it, in particular the repeaters. I also tossed up some more photographs of this morning's fun, and I was kind of chatty over there.

Another grand southern California day, enjoy.

5.15.2005

What you talkin' 'bout, Willis!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

Surf was kind of fun at the start, 1-3 footers with OK conditions. I surfed (and wasn't a TOTAL kook) for about 30 minutes then called it a day as it got crowded early. BD, Joe in his wetsuit (but I think it was a short one), Kenny, Ben, Nextel, Bossman and others were out with me. Surprise, we all were sharing like crazy and having a blast. Makes for a fun morning when it's familiar faces.

As the morning progressed, the tide dropped, the south wind started blowing and along with the wind came the fog. Just as the fog started rolling in, two sneaker overhead sets caught everybody napping. When I left at 9:00, you could not see the surf, that's how thick the fog was. However, once on the freeway, it was sunny. Go figure.

There were so many Talegalites this morning that it wasn't even funny. Good luck this summer! Speeders are up and so are additional pictures. Happy days.

This sneaker set rolled in just as the fog did.

Buy his boards!

A classic 6'10" Rick James swallowtail. Leave a comment if you are interested.

Friday, May 13, 2005


I was outside, looked up and there was this.

Friday In Puttzle's Corner

Surf? What surf. Very tiny waves with excellent conditions. Oddly enough, about 15 people were out when I left at 7:00, maybe enough surf for three. 1-2 foot, low tide peelers calling for the old 10'6" or larger. Sheriff Bob showed up and went out, actually getting a few rides. He was ecstatic, but that was just because he's been out of the water too long. The School Teacher/Fisherman fished, Panaman, Osifer K. and even Larry C. stayed on the beach (as did I, duh!), Frank and Nextel Larry were among the takers, I have to commend them on their dedication.

Had a nice visit with The Olympic Gold Medal Winner, he looked pretty darn good. With a little luck, we could see him in the water in the foreseeable future. By the way, TM, Ranger P. sends along her best wishes for a speedy recovery.

The Mayor showed up so late that I was beginning to worry that the insurgents, led by Ali Zawari Tubesteak, had kidnapped him for ransom. Seems he just slept in a bit later than usual, so he must have enjoyed his 'ritas last night. He is on the Injured Reserve list after all, so I guess if he doesn't want to 'support the team', that's his business.

The Saddleback Surf Team (no lie, they were out in force at Old Man's) provided all kinds of photo ops, speeding like madpeople down the old dirt road. I'll also stick a few other pictures on the picture blog. As it's been for the last couple of days, the weather is beautiful, so enjoy it.

Another good morning for fishing.

Sheriff Bob doing the helicopter spin.

Animal sacrifice could spark shark attack

Thu May 12,10:42 AM ET

SAN ONOFRE (Reuters) - Blood from gophers butchered in a religious ritual at San Onofre Surf Beach could tempt sharks toward surfers an official warned Thursday. A small group called the Hopping Oracle has carried out such sacrifices at The Point, media reported. Its leader Prophet Moses Puttski said it was inspired by the Old Testament to help cure hoppers. But biologist Dr. Ralph of the Dana Point Sharks Board, which aims to reduce attacks on humans, said the blood may attract sharks. "Putting blood or guts into the water is simply not sensible," he told Reuters. "A shark in the vicinity of the beach may come to investigate."Three or four people are attacked every year off San Onofre's coasts, Ralph said. Animal protection officers said they were also investigating cruelty allegations on gophers around the sacrifices, and an official supervisor said they were unacceptable. "A beach is a public place and we can't have animals being sacrificed in front of visitors and children," the beach official told San Clemente's daily news.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Surfers in the drink after beer truck flips

Wed May 11,12:49 PM ET
SAN ONOFRE (Reuters) - A truck hauling 2,000 cases of beer flipped over and unleashed a sea of suds onto San Onofre's dirt road on Wednesday, in a scene that could have been lifted from the San Onofre cliche handbook. The early morning accident brought the usual morning speeders to a standstill on the dirt road near the point, as rescuers worked to free a woman on a cell phone trapped in the giant SUV that collided with the tractor trailer. "Believe it or not with this crushed SUV, the young lady driving it is going to be okay," Ranger Hal Dairywimple told ABC news. "The sand on the beach is now absorbing the beer," he added. At San Onofre, beer is closely co-advertised with the national obsession of shoulder hopping and an enduring national stereotype of drunk surfer's who swilled beer and ended every sentence with "dude?." Rangers said the beer-soaked sand would be scooped into bins and returned to the supplier for destruction against the loud objections by the denizens of bathroom #4-20.

Puttzle's Corner

The surf this morning was pretty small, but at least the conditions were good. 1 to maybe 3 feet, very inconsistent. For some unknown reason, there were 20 guys out, yet the surf was sufficient for maybe 5. Panaman didn't even proclaim it as "epic", he didn't even venture out. That is not the norm. On top of that, Panaman was bundled up like it was the dead of winter in Alaska. Watchcap, gloves, bulky jacket and Nanook from the North boots. Ok, slight exaggeration, he had on sneakers. Picking up the slack was the School Teacher/Fisherman who suited right up and hit the...I am having a hard time calling it surf, so let's just say he hit the water. JB soon followed as did Iconman Ken. I did not. More photos from today are posted. The speeders are already up on that site.

Weather once again is most excellent, enjoy it.

She's a beaut!

The School Teacher/Fisherman.

No suspects in toilet fire

SAN ONOFRE - The night was cool and clear but the air turned toxic when a portable toilet began to burn in the early morning hours of May 5. Park rangers dispatched to a brush fire at the entrance to Surf Beach around 1:49 a.m. and arrived to find a Johnny On The Spot set aflame. It was not necessary to corner off the beach, but the portable toilet did release toxic fumes, Edison 307 Fire Inspector Ray Man said. “They clean those quite often, but obviously not knowing who used it, there would be a little bit of a biohazard, but nothing to the degree where the Haz-Mat unit would need to be called in,” he said. More dangerous would be the fumes emitted by the burning plastic, 307 said. “Well, if you breathe that in while it’s burning, then it could cause some damage,” said. Murphy the Mayor who is quite familiar with burning porta-potties. The portable toilet was destroyed, said Jose Puttzlo, a Johnny On The Spot Inc. dispatcher in Dana Point.. “If it was just the parts, we could replace it,” he said. “Unfortunately, it was burnt to the ground. All that was left was a heap of plastic. The state didn’t want to replace it.” A standard portable toilet is valued at $650, Puttzlo said. What agent the unknown arsonist used to ignite the portable toilet is still unknown, 307 said. “We found a small container inside the base of the [toilet,] but we still don’t know if the accelerant used was that,” he said. 307 did not want to speculate if the arsonist was a kids’ prank, but said the incident was the only one of its kind in the area. “There were no witnesses and no suspects, but there’s been no rash of burning potties,” he said.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

Pretty late post for me, I actually spent 2 hours in the water this morning. Don't ask me why. I probably should have stayed on the beach, as I had a terrible time. My back was a little stiff, I couldn't find the Aleve, and was pretty much a kook. On one of the nicest set rights that rolled through early, I was all alone, in position and what do I do? I took off, jumped up, and then lost my balance and fell...on the freakin' takeoff! On another one I tried a late, late takeoff and never got up, just stayed on my belly. Now I could blame it on the stiff back, I could blame it on the pretty junky surf, but no, I think today was all me. It's discouraging in a way, makes me wonder if I actually surf most of the time at the level I think I do. Days like today suck. However, I also know that tomorrow is another day and I could be totally on, so why worry. That's one thing about getting older, I find myself "rolling with the punches" and shrugging off stressful schitt where when I was a bit younger, I'd let it gnaw at me. Ah, all in all life is grand, isn't it?

Today is another simply beautiful day, warm and sunny. That's about all I can say that's good about it. The damn freeway was jammed, big-rigs taking up two lanes, and idiots pacing the rigs in the other lanes. I will not miss this. A few speeders graciously allowed me to photograph their transgressions and I will post some additional pics from today on the picture blog.

Wolfie's new Ohana Kemp short board, it's like 14 feet long and weighs about 60 pounds, so stay out of his way!

TB Joe covered.

San Onofre man arrested on charge of riding surfboard while drunk.

SAN ONOFRE, Ca. (Associated Press) - A San Onofre man has been charged with drunken driving - for riding a surfboard while allegedly intoxicated. Earl Dennis Larson, 62, was arrested Sunday night after he rode his surfboard onto the beach in front of an off-duty state ranger, Murphy the Mayor said. Ranger Hal Dairywimple said that Larson looked like he was about to fall off the board. Dairywimple said Larson admitted to being drunk and told rangers that he had ridden the board from T-Street, which was about 5 miles away. Larson told rangers that he had consumed about a twelve pack and failed sobriety tests, Dairywimple said, and was charged with operating a surfboard under the influence of intoxicants. A breath test showed Larson's alcohol level at .344, more than four times the limit. Larson was released from the San Diego County Dentention Center Monday, jail officials said. He faces a fine of between $20-$100, plus court costs. Dairywimple said the arrest was "very unusual," but park rangers have arrested others for similar violations, such as hopping others while under the influence.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Puttzle's Corner

Conditions this morning are lousy, there is a definite sickness on the surface due to the strong onshore wind that blew earlier last night. The southwest swell is dwindling and there looks to be a northwest starting up so maybe tomorrow will be better. I am hopeful. Things did appear to be cleaning up when I left, but it will take a lot for it to be halfway good. Only one person went out around the Point area, some Talegalite from the looks of him. The usual crew stayed out, as well they should. The speeders, who don't know when to quit, where in attendance again and a few of them had their pictures taken.

I have asked before and I am asking again that everyone keep The Olympic Gold Medal Winner in their thoughts and prayers.

Panaman refuses to discuss the "incident" from the past weekend, saying that it is "old news". I will respect that and not delve further into it. Like I told him this morning, I am proud of him for standing up and speaking out. I am sorry I wasn't in the water at the time, because I would have been all over it! Panaman is not one to spout off (unlike moi) unless someone is totally out of control, so I know it must have been bad. You keep on keepin' on P-man.

Peace all.

Junk.

Fluffy on her usual morning cruise.

Monday, May 09, 2005


Photo by Kathi Kent, For the Register.

Nice article in the Orange County Register's 'At Work Extra' part of the Business section on Richard Chew, well respected friend of the San-O Daze crew. If the link doesn't work, you may need to register with the Register's (hee-hee) web site...or click the picture below to enlarge (when you do, be sure to enlarge it all the way) for the article. He cleans up real good, don't he.

Puttle's Corner

Surf is 2-4 feet, but looked to be building a bit with some 3-5 foot sets that started coming through about 15 minutes before I left. Even though there were waves, it was just a bit off, much like Saturday. Peaks everywhere that all joined together for a walled up crap thingie. The very low tide early really affected it, but things were getting better as the time passed and the tide rose, but still not that good. I did not surf. I did snap something like 18 speeders and of course a few more surf pictures.

In fairness to all, I must comment on the crowd this morning, which included both inductees among others. I'm not sure if it was the small crowd size or what (about 12 guys when I left about 8), but there was not much hopping going on, except at the Sandbar by the shortboarders. I did not see either of those guys hop anybody. There were a few guys who seemed to be getting a lot of waves so there may have been some hogging going on, but that was hard to tell with the way the surf was and maybe it didn't matter to the people out there. Comments from them are always welcome.

Still awaiting Panaman's story. I know the Mayor spoke with him. Since the Mayor is on the IR and golfing is out of the question, it's possible he may relate the tale to us. Have a fine day.

JohnnyV in great position.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Sunday Service

Happy Mother's Day!

The surf today was, to me anyway, better than yesterday. I went out and caught maybe 6 or 7 waves in about 30 minutes. The shape had improved, they were a lot less walled-up. I got out because the crowd arrived very early, by 6:30 I would estimate at least 30 guys (and gals) in the line-up, although the line-up was scattered around. The Grumpster, Joe in his wetsuit, the Bossman and Gentleman John got in the water first so we all had a decent session...until it got crowded. Talegalites, shortboarders sitting inside HOPPING and kooks were once again the order of the day. There were a few guys who could surf and they seemed to be getting all the waves. The HOPPERS seemed to be content to hop each other. Once again, Panaman forgot to remove the "It's OK to HOP Me" sign from his back, so he suffered the consequences.

Size is about 2-4 with an very occasional 5 footer thrown in, but they were few and far between. Water temp was a nice 63 or 64. The speeders are up and a bunch more pictures at puttzle's pics.

One of the weekend regulars just phoned me and evidently after I left, mild-mannered Panaman had a little incident in the water, I think that's his second in the last few weeks. From what I heard, he had the audacity to say something to some guy who snaked somebody else (PANAMAN, I am proud of you!). As often happens when we yell at the speeders, the snake (for the uninformed, that's someone who whips around and takes off behind someone who is already riding, not kosher at all) basically said "Hey, F*uck you". Then there was more "talk" and a little splashing of water before people told them to mellow out, or something to that effect. Hopefully, Panaman will weigh in so we get the story straight from the horses mouth, so to speak. I sure am glad that I get my session in early.

Mah-tan on a sweet one.

There he is HOPPING Nextel Larry, our newest nominee, Poodleman.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Saturday In Puttzle's Corner

Well, it's another beautiful southern California morning. The expected swell is just starting to build from what I saw. As the tide was rising, the set size was increasing. I'd call it 2-4 feet with good offshore conditions. I would expect that to change to onshore soon. Shape left something to be desired, peaky and sectioning so I did not go out, content to shoot some speeders. The Talegalites were out in force, I have to go through all the 110 shots of this morning and will post additional photos of the morning's antics on the picture site. The Point crowd was late in arriving, if the surf had been better I would have gone out. The Grumpster, BD, Osifer K, Panaman, McTavish Bob and others were out, but it sure didn't look that fun, and they confirmed it when they got out. Estimates of the water temp ranged from 60 to 63, I guess the west wind a couple of days ago put a little chill back in it, but I would expect that to change with the south swell push.

I have noticed a disturbing trend in the last few weeks. I thought it was just spring break. The shortboarders (all ages) are attempting a hostile takeover of the Sandbar area. They sit either at the Sandbar or on the extreme shoulder of the Point left and HOP at every opportunity. I would imagine that soon either one of two things will happen. They go away due to injuries sustained from getting run over repeatedly by the longboarders, or they take it fully over and claim it as theirs.

Have a great day!

Why I do believe it's Gene-Gene the Dancing Machine!

BD.

The Grumpster.

Friday, May 06, 2005

It's Not Fluffy, Is It?


Max Quintana of San Clemente, left, A.J. Moore of Mission Viejo and Greg Motshagen of San Marcos, kneeling, teamed to catch this 368-pound thresher shark off San Onofre recently. It took 10 hours to boat the monster fish.

Resting In Puttzle's Corner

Not much going on surf-wise this morning. Northwest winds and no swell to speak of. Surface conditions are not as ripped up as feared, so it may clean up by tomorrow morning if the winds subside or change to offshore.

As I mentioned yesterday, the Hobie Classic is tomorrow and Sunday, so it is sure to be a zoo. If your usual hang-out is down Old Man's way, good luck! Now that I think about it, wherever your usual hang-out at San-O is, good luck. Best advice is to stay away from San Onofre until Monday. I of course will be there, I figure there will be speeders galore, the usual hopping extravaganza and many colorful Wetsuits-R-Us outfits. I may even have to purchase another large memory card for my camera, as I am sure to get over 130 pictures (and that will be of just the speeders!).

Crapola, day 2.

2005 surf schedule

It looks like a busy contest year at San Onofre. Here a just a few of the dates so as to help you plan your schedule. As is the States policy, any of these events could be postponed to the following week should there be no surf. Afterall, it is more important for these professsionals to have good surf as the public is insignificant.

WCT MEN'S EVENTS

March 22-30: Rip Curl Pro-hopping challenge, The Point, San Onofre

May 5-14: Billabong Pro, 4 doors, San Onofre

May 22-29: Globe WCT, Dogpatch, San Onofre

June 23-30: Rip Curl Search, Old Mans, San Onofre

July 12-19: Billabong Pro, Bathroom#420, San Onofre

Aug. 31: Japan Quiksilver Pro, Nukes, San Onofre

Sept 9-24: Boost Mobile Pro, Old Mans, San Onofre

Sept. 23-29: Quiksilver Pro, San Onofre

Oct. 3-15: Billabong Pro, The Point, San Onofre

Oct. 31: Santa Catarina Kayak Pro, Tupperware Bay, San Onofre

Dec. 8-25: Rip Curl Pipeline Masters, Nuclear outlet, San Onofre

April 26-31: Body Glove Surfabout, 4 Doors,
San Onofre

May 7-8: Old Mans Hobie San Onofre Classic (longboards)

June: Dogpatch National Scholastic Surfing Assn. 2005 Championships

July 23-31: Honda U.S. Open of Surfing, San Onofre

August 26-30: Body Glove Surfabout, The Point,
San Onofre

August 7-18: Old Mans Hobie San Onofre Classic (longboards)

Sept 2-10: Huntington Beach Hello Kitty Boardfest at San Onofre (women)

We hope this helps.

Thursday, May 05, 2005


How about this? Grumpy take note!

Hey Grumpy, can you guess where this is?

Staying Dry In Puttzle's Corner

A good morning to all! As the photo shows, it is junk due to the south wind. Light showers were falling from time to time, but barely enough to get you wet. Looks like it may come down harder a bit later. I must say that the wind hasn't torn up the surface as much as I feared and it may not take 2 or 3 days to clean back up once the storm passes. There is hope yet for the weekend and expected crowd. However, I would caution people that the Hobie Vintage Longboard Classic contest is being held at San Onofre this weekend. Expect an early wait to enter the park, unless of course you are like us crazy die-hards at the front of the line.

Traffic southbound on I-5 is a total mess due to an accident involving a big-rig tanker truck, which spilled some of it's load. Fortunately for me I got through it early before traffic backed up. There is one lane open from about El Camino until just past the wreck, which is at Califia. Traffic is backed up to Dan Point. I'm glad I'm not stuck in it! Too bad the surf isn't happening because the few of us who made it through early would be having a field day. I remember a day about a year ago, the surf was real good and nobody was showing up. Turned out there was an accident that blocked the freeway, keeping the crowd from showing up until after 8:00. I think there was about 5 of us surfing that whole time. You gotta take what you can get around San-O.

Here's an interesting site.

UPDATE: I just checked the San Clemente pier cam and it is glassing off! Could get good. It's 9:20 in the morning.

Crapola!
Sheriff Bob!
Call Dingo. Your order has arrived.

You Really Missed It!

Wed May 4, 9:40 PM ET
SAN ONOFRE, Ca. - After Park Rangers fired 22 shots at a fleeing man without hitting him, the state park says they'll pay nearly $7,000 to repair bullet holes in vehicles and surfboards that were hit during the wild confrontation. According to insurance claims filed by both drivers and surfers, shots fired by four rangers in pursuit of 39-year-old I. M. Hopper, hit doors, windows, surfboards, speeding SUV's and a gopher. No one was injured in the March 9 chase. San Onofre is a beach of about 11,000 surfers surrounded by the Camp Pendleton. The shots came as rangers tried to apprehend Hopper, who had been the target of a manhunt after he was accused of "dropping in" on every wave he could regardless of who is riding. He was arrested May 4th less than 100 yards from the point. After a short car chase, Hopper drove through a patch of bamboo and over a new Talega Surf & Sport board before crashing his car into bathroom #4.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


It was like this see, I was riding along and all of a sudden, this guy in a bonnet hops me.

On A Soapbox In Puttzle's Corner

Puttzle's Corner twice in one day! Aren't you all lucky. I just exchanged emails with a friend who inquired what was going to happen to the blogs once I have departed (it's true, for those who don't know yet, I will be moving to a new locale in the near future), because he has noticed that some of my ranting is actually resulting in some people doing a little thinking out there, because Puttzle is on scene , camera or pad in hand. My initial reply was that nobody was willing to step into unt's shoes, or flip-flops in my case. Interested parties should inquire within.

That got me to thinking. Holding people up to public ridicule is not the best way to go about changing things. If what I preach makes sense, makes a difference and results in a more enjoyable surfing experience, then people, you need to act. DO NOT TOLERATE the likes of Fred H., Larry C., and other HOPPERS. DO NOT TOLERATE the likes of Mark C. and Frank who HOG every wave that comes through. Don't get mad, talk to them, voice your displeasure, but do it nicely. Next time you're shooting the schitt with them in the parking lot, say "You know XXXX, you are a bad hopper/hogger and I wish you would stop". Give them a chance, although I would submit that what I have done here has given them more than sufficient opportunity to right the wrong. If things remain the same, take action, make it real uncomfortable for them. There are more of us (at least the early crowd) than them. It's BULLSCHITT that we let them get away with it, day after day. And don't say, "Hey, it's San-O" or "It's always been that way", or "But he's a STAR", that gives them no right to do what they do. We can change things, and change things for the better if we are all on the same page, and it won't take public bashing to accomplish. I would much rather post pictures of people getting good rides and having fun then post pictures just to make a point. Except for the speeders of course.

A harder beast to tame are the Talegalites and kooks, but I say it can be done. Educate them. If they don't belong at the Point, tell them Dogpatch would better suit their learning curve at this time, but do it nicely. If they have some ability, give them some pointers. If they persist, run their a**es over (just kidding).

Help others. Discover the joy of watching someone else get a nice ride. If you see somebody about to hop somebody else, yell at them not to go, something I have been known to do. Hell, I have even yelled at guys about to hop Cobbo, but I digress.
Explain why, tell them HOPPING and HOGGING is UNACCEPTABLE.

Aloha for now.

HOLY CRAP 2!

OK, now I know it was no hoax, but the real thing. Thanks to JohnnyV, here's a link to the video. Damn!

Having Fun In Puttzle's Corner

Like I said, they will give me all kinds of opportunities and today those HOPPERS held true to form (see photos below). As Mr. Initials P.A. once said, "bad habits are hard to break". I guess that's the case here, but it holds no water with me.

The surf was ok, I came real close to going out, but there was just enough junkiness on it, as well as HOPPER central, that I decided it was a good day for pictures. Infinity rider Ryan (he shapes his own boards) was simply planting himself on da nose like nobody's business. In my opinion, he is one of the finest surfers out in the water when he comes to San-O. And a gentleman as well. A very enjoyable person to watch surf.

The speeders were out in force, unfortunately about 5 of them lucked out due to out of focusness. What amazes me is the reaction when someone tells them to slow down, a middle finger is the norm. One of these days someone is going to be injured and then maybe they will think twice, but I doubt it.

The mayor is on the IR after hurting his foot, torn tendon requiring 6-8 week recovery minimum. Keep him, as well as the Olympic Gold Medal Winner in your thoughts and prayers for speedy recoveries.

More pictures you know where. Oh, and Hor-hay, I still love ya man!

One last thing. You may notice an envelope with an arrow on it at the bottom of each post. Clicking it allows you to email that post to whomever you like. Maybe somebody can mail to FH so he knows he's not alone.

Part 1. JB jamming down the line on a terrific, makeable wave, only to be royally hopped by poodleman (the next nominee by the way).

Part 2. The biggest hopper of all, hopping the hopper who hopped JB.

Part 3. Important to note is that HOPPER # 1 got out of the wave, but not you know who.

The guy who swears he NEVER hops, hopping. He is Inductee Number 2!

The Whole Beach's Talking:

By Dick Burns
Star-Tribune staff writer

Two San Onofre men face obscenity charges for erecting a sand sculpture April 21 on the beach that resembled a phallus, park rangers report. According to Hal Dairywimple, the two men built the sculpture near the Mayors spot at the Point before it was destroyed. Reports say the sculpture was "offensive to other surfers in the area." The two men were arraigned Friday in San Diego Circuit Court. They pleaded not guilty and were released on $1,000 bond. Their attorney, F. Lee Tracy, is challenging the claim and said the state obscenity statute was "being selectively enforced," and the sculpture could be protected under the First Amendment. Also on April 21, a second "anatomically correct sandman " was destroyed near Old Mans.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Holy Crap!

Maybe San-O isn't so bad in comparison to this. Here's the accompanying story, thanks to Jamie at Hawaiian Water Shots. Check his site for other shots from Teahupo. As far as I can tell, this is not fake.

In full view of the world's elite including Bruce and Andy Irons, Shane Dorian and the rest of the surfing paparazzi, Tahitian charger Raimana Van Bastoloer went within an inch of losing his life in one of the most radical surfing near misses ever witnessed.

As the local was towed into a solid 12-foot wave, his jet ski driver Reef Macintosh was caught in the wave lip and unable to pull out, careering the ski directly over the pitching lip and into the path of Van Bastoloae.

Van Bastoloer ducked into the barrel of the wave, narrowly missing the ski and exiting the wave unscathed. The ski was destroyed on the shallow reef.

"I saw a black thing out of the side of my eye, I just ducked my head and then I don't know what happened," said Van Bastoloer in his broken English. "I saw this thing going and I was like, where is the guy driving on it, then I saw Reef trying to come up and we lost the ski but good thing I never lost my friend and myself, so it's ok."

"That was the heaviest thing I have ever seen," said Andy Irons. "My really good friend Reef was actually driving the ski and he jumped off, almost went over the falls and the ski went over Raimana's head, he got barreled by his own ski. It missed his head by about six inches, it was psycho."

Billabong Pro wildcard Manoa Drollet picked off the day's bomb wave which many locals claimed was as big as any ever ridden at Teahupoo before.

Locusts plague beach, blinding drivers and surfers.

SAN ONOFRE, Ca. (Reuters) - Swarms of locusts blinded drivers, halting traffic along a 3/4 mile stretch of a dirt road linking the point to the southern part of Dogpatch, rangers said Sunday. Many surfer's out at the Point said that they could not see who they were hopping as the swarm converged upon the water. Masses of insects started hitting windshields and foreheads around midday Saturday, forcing dozens of cars and SUV's to stop on the road for up to four hours, Murphy the Mayor said. "They came flying by millions, all on a sudden, apparently from nowhere, causing panic" he said. The surfers resumed their journey down the dirt road and hopping others when the swarm cleared.

Puttzle's Corner

I hope people can get to the blog today. I don't know what was wrong, all that was displaying was a blank page. What I had to do was clear my cache in the Internet Options of the browser.

Surf today was OK, I guess, but not OK enough that I went out. High tide, 1-3 feet, maybe. There was only one early morning taker, White Bread Tom, everyone else was in the watching mode. It was looking a bit better when I left at 6:30, but still not enough for me. Others were suiting up, maybe one of them can comment on how they thought it was.

Speeders are up, I'll stick one or two more pictures on puttzle's pics. Don't forget to vote. Aloha for now

White Bread Tom was the only guy out at the start.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Sad Commentary

I think this says it all. Yesterday, I posted a picture and mentioned Doug Craig and how much he meant to San Onofre and the Surfing Club and I get 2 comments. Talk about the HOPPERS and all hell breaks loose. I believe that would tend to support my view that a whole bunch of you are inconsiderate, selfish jerks who are better off, well, DEAD! It's disgusting! How can you live with yourselves?

Throwing Schitt From Puttzle's Corner

Good morning! This morning the surf was much as it has been, less than great. Good conditions but walled up even more than the previous days. I went right out, caught a few waves and realized that it was not my day. Part me, part the waves. Probably more me. 2-4 feet with bigger sets, nice conditions until I prepared to leave around 8:00, then the southerly winds started to show. I don't know if they will back off or not. Speeders are up and additional pictures also.

Now on to important things. In days past, I have posted many photos of guys (and a gal or two) surfing. Please feel free to copy them (right mouse button click, then SAVE IMAGE AS) and use them however you want, I am not a money hungry kind of person. HOWEVER, this morning I saw the true colors of some of you yahoos and will never again put a picture of you on this blog, no matter how nice it is. Well OK, I may, but believe me it WON'T be flattering, but it WILL be calling it like it is, no punches pulled. Don't ask, just stay in your little group of you know who lovers. Too bad, because some of you got some nice rides this morning, my finger just flat out refused to push down on the shutter when you were surfing! Oh, and Fred, I am sure you know who I am now, I know they pointed me out to you.

There is one person in particular, someone that some of you have mentioned as the biggest HOPPER of all (Surprise, it wasn't FH), someone that I have taken it real easy on, but that comes to an end, right here, right now. I think it will be open season on him soon. Of all the pictures I have taken but not posted, he is shown hopping more than all of the others put together, so it shouldn't be too hard to catch him in the act. As I have said before, I do not care how long you have been surfing, who you are or the length of time you have been coming to San Onofre, an a**hole HOPPER is an a**hole HOPPER. Oh, and HOGGERS are big on my list now also. Keep it up boys, I know you will present me with enumerable opportunities, so I guess it's time to take you all up on the offer.


Like I've also said before, this blogging schitt is way fun! UPDATE: New nominee!

Mah-tan.

Moon Phase