Thursday, July 31, 2008

CALENDAR AND MORE


I’ve followed with interest two recent scientific stories: the discovery of evidence for water flowing recently on Mars, and the excited understanding that the ancient Greeks constructed their own analog computer – the Antikythera Mechanism.

My Favorite Surf Shop

















The only drawback is that they have a very limited selection of surfboards. In fact, now that I think about it, in the hundreds of times I've been there, I don't think I've ever seen a surfboard or a wetsuit. But it's still my favorite surf shop.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

What Is Your Favorite Surf Shop

Mine happens to be The Frog House in Newport Beach but what is yours and why is it your favorite?

What is PFOA ?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Lost Play Doll Found At The Point

The name tag on the doll is "Big Jim" and was found at the point this morning. If anyone by chance recognizes this doll or know's the owner, please notify me and I will gladly return it. Those speedos do look familiar don't they?

Perhaps The Most Outrageous Shorts Ever Worn At San Onofre

























So, let the Mayor have his red shorts.

RIP Bud Browne

Surfing's legendary filmmaker passes away.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Tubesteak Tribute No. 500,001 - The B.O.D.

MEDICAL WASTE AT SAN ONOFRE...

This poor man was wading in the shorebreak when he knelt down to rescue an errant Sea Hare that had become entangled in the kelp. To be ironically rewarded for his good deed, he ended up kneeling on an old rusty syringe full of some sort of yellowish fluid. To add insult to injury, the angle of which he knelt coupled along with his rather large girth forced about 3cc's of the fluid directly into his knee. He is undergoing AIDS testing at this very moment.






Sunday, July 27, 2008

New San Onofre Ban in Effect

SAN ONOFRE, California (ASS) - First it was the butt-boarders and kayakers, then sweepers. Now SOSC BOD, State Park and Lifeguard officials announced a ban on red trunks at San Onofre, effective immediately.

"There have been a rash of incidents of men wearing red trunks and pretending to be lifeguards," State Park Ranger and SOSC BOD member Ranger Ephraim said in a prepared statement. "Unfortunately, park rangers are usually occupied with issues at the Campground, doughnut shop and bathroom #4 and have been unable to apprehend or even identify the perpetrators.

"Our lifeguards are having to answer calls and disembark from the tower. They arrive on the scene only to find that their presence was unneeded." Lifeguard Chief Mitch Blew remarked.

When it was pointed out that distressed swimmers sometimes had to wait until near death for a lifeguard to arrive, Chief Blew was defensive. "Our people get tired running down all the false calls and they sometimes are slow to respond. If these false calls would stop, my people would be fresher and could respond in a more timely manner. You try climbing up and down that tower a few times, it takes a lot out of you!"

Mayor Murphy was the lone dissenting voice. "What will I wear now?" he asked. "Everyone knows that I wear red trunks and a red hat. I'm not sure what I will do. I may organize a protest. At the very least, an apology is in order."

sandbar is going off today


As you can see, the tidal push at mecca rewarded this rider with a splendid barrel

Shocking Photo

Friday, July 25, 2008

More San-O Walk Of Fame Info


SAN ONOFRE, California (PU) - During a second press conference in two days, the SOSC BOD and top state officials unveiled a marker like those that will adorn the new San Onofre Walk of Fame. To honor of recent addition to the Huntington Beach Hall of Fame of Richard Chew, the marker is adorned with his name.

"While this is not the final product, we felt it appropriate to honor Rich while we sorted through different ideas," SOSC BOD member Ranger Ephraim said.

When asked when names may be submitted to the selection committee, Ranger Ephraim was non-committal. "We are still in the process of forming the committee. We would like to include some of the inland empire folks in the selection process, but we need to wait for the weekend when they typically come to the park. Hopefully by next week we will have a working group and can start the nominations."

Ranger Ephraim was also asked about the loss of the 26 parking spaces. "They really aren't going to be 'lost'. Each inductee onto the Walk will receive a free parking place, reserved for their use only, as well as a 'Legend's Pass', which will allow them and their families free passage into the park."

Congratulations Rich



HUNTINGTON BEACH – Surf history was embraced Thursday morning at the 15th annual Surfing Walk of Fame, where inductees spoke about favorite memories, and what it means to be honored in front of Jack's Surf Shop.

For local legend Rich Chew, pictured above, the Southern California way of life was perfect.

Checking out the good looking ladies while lifeguarding during summers, then off to Hawaii to surf in the winters. Of course, flights to Hawaii back in the day were only $99. And gas was a whopping 50 cents.The former San Clemente lifeguard, who still surfs five days a week, recalls being able to drive down Pacific Coast Highway and know everyone on the beach.

Chew – like many of his fellow honorees – recalled the good ol’ days during the Surfing Walk of Fame ceremony in front of Jack’s Surf Shop, an awards ceremony now in its 15th year.

Inspiring Words From The Porta Potty Near The Church Surfing Beach

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Walk of Fame

SAN ONOFRE, California (CIA) - In a joint press conference held at San Onofre Surfing Beach, representatives for the Governor and members of the SOSC BOD unveiled plans for a San Onofre Surf Legends "Walk of Fame".

Stretching from the "Point" all the way to "Geezer's Point", the walk is expected to take 6 months to construct, with a completion date of June, 2009. Twenty-six parking spots will be lost, but that revenue will be recovered by increased park fees. Total cost has yet to be determined. The SOSC is footing the bill and will fund the construction by increasing club dues.

The walk will consist of stones collected from the area and personally selected by the man known only as HF, San Onofre's resident rock expert.

A committee to select nominees will be formed in the next two weeks, with the first induction occurring during the Surf Club's annual Luau.

The New Infinity Fall Line-up

I was recently invited to the new Infinity fall line-up preview.

As I expected, they really suck. The Shark Infinity

Google Image Search
















1. Go to Google.com
2. Selected "Images" as your search type.
3. Be sure that "safe search" is turned off.
4. Search for "San-O Daze" (quotation marks not necessary).
5. It is also interesting to add (to the terms "San-O Daze") your name, the name of one of the San-O Daze bloggers, or the name of someone you know.

You can get a real hodgepodge of images that have appeared at San-O Daze, and through the magic of Google, even some that haven't.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

George W's Resignation Speech

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Now some of you morons are considering another and more evil Clinton for president !!!! Go figure that one!! She wants to take your kids away and let the 'Whole Village' raise them! i.e. governmental indoctrination .. Look this one up you dumb asses!

The rest of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to reelect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That would be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America.

Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.

W

Order Now!


Trunks with the new club logo are now available.

Stand Up Paddle Surfer And Dog At Old Mans



















The Ranger gave him two tickets.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Gettin Thrown To The Lions

This absolutely disturbs me to no end. What say you?

Dingo Apology

Use of Formal Apology Form Required

Use of the Formal Apology Form (Form A-001) remains required for all apologies at San-O Daze. If your section is out of forms, request your section secretary contact the supply secretary and additional forms will be provided to your section secretary for distribution. Do not contact the supply secretary directly.

PRE-EMPTIVE DINGO APOLOGY...

Click on it to enlarge or print it out...

Monday, July 21, 2008

ARCHY RICE DEMANDS RETRACTION

if the information in this public forum can not be made to be without hurtful and untrue statements about Archy Rice , sanodaisy should be removed from the public forum. i for one am sick and tired of the tireless attacks on archy. he is much too humble a man to stick up for himself so i am defending him. shotzy hereby demands a retraction of all stories, clips, quips, and doctored photos. if my demands are not met i will retain sydney carton esq. to seek damages for undue duress, and intentionl infliction of emotional distress.

PRETZEL DEMANDS AN APOLOGY

Evidently, previous posts were extremely hurtful to Pretzel aka Marty Markham. It has always been my understanding that San-O Daze was strictly satire, comedy, poking fun and teasing of people, places and things. Making a farce out of the goings on at San Onofre has been the mantra. I was thoroughly dressed down by Pretzel on Saturday and he let it be known to all that he is pissed off and that I am an evil person. Meant to be funny previous posts regarding Pretzel's hero worshiping and questioning his manhood were taken extremely personal by him and he is very angry and obviously hurt. San Onofre is not the place to harbor bad feelings.

Pretzel, on behalf of everyone at San-O Daze, I am formally apologizing for anything we have ever posted about you that may have been hurtful. It was supposed to be all in fun and I can now fully understand that you did not take it that way. Hopefully you are man enough to accept my apology. I invite you to discuss this face to face if you wish and iron out any ill will.

Sincerely,
Puttzle aka Spin Evans?

Must Love Dogs



You must love dogs if you're coming to San Onofre.

archy rides again



This clown was observed at sano's luau last week riding a 99 dollar pop out soft top. it just goes to show you, equipment is irrelevant, when you have this sort of talent.

ANOTHER SERIOUS ISSUE....

CLICK HERE...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Panaman Demands An Apology

Evidently, previous posts by this contributor were extremely hurtful to Panaman aka Howard Fischer. It has always been my understanding that San-O Daze was strictly satire, comedy, poking fun and teasing of people, places and things. Making a farce out of the goings on at San Onofre has been the mantra. I was thoroughly dressed down by Panaman on Saturday and he let it be known to all that he is pissed off and that I am an evil person. Meant to be funny previous posts by myself and others regarding Panaman's rock borrowing from San-O and his and mine competition regarding a Burger King commercial were taken extremely personal by him and he is very angry and obviously hurt. San Onofre is not the place to harbor bad feelings.

Panaman, I am formally apologizing for anything I have ever posted about you that may have been hurtful. It was supposed to be all in fun and I can now fully understand that you did not take it that way. Hopefully you are man enough to accept my apology. I invite you to discuss this face to face if you wish and iron out any ill will.

Sincerely,
Spin Evans aka Ron Chamberlain

Gooey Ducks Are Back

And ready for picking.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Jesse Jackson Drops The "N" Bomb.






















The same Jesse Jackson who called on the entertainment industry, including rappers, to stop using the N-Word, and who also urged the public to BOYCOTT the DVD set of "Seinfeld" after Michael Richards was taped using the word during a rant at a Los Angeles comedy club in 2006 - 8 years after after the TV series was over, used the N-Word himself when referring to blacks when he said Obama was telling them how to behave.

Story here, and, tomorrow EVERYWHERE.

Introducing the New San Onofre Surf Club Logo


SAN CLEMENTE (UPS) - The San Onofre Surf Club unveiled their new club logo at the annual club meeting, held this morning at the Elks Lodge in San Clemente. The original logo, first seen in 1952, was deemed outdated and out of touch with the times.

"We looked long and hard at many different designs, before settling on this one," board member Ranger Ephraim remarked. "It just seemed to speak to us of San Onofre and the culture it fosters."

The logo will appear on all club gear and available online at the club website or their official outlet.

Unintentionally Erotic Candy No. 301: Gummi Lighthouses

Monday, July 14, 2008

Complying With The New Ban On Nudity At San Onofre

NUDE:
1. Having no clothing; naked.
2. Permitting or featuring full exposure of the body.

Nude means NO clothing. None. Nada. Zero.
Full exposure means FULL Exposure. Total. Everything.

My client was NOT NUDE.


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Special Report

EXCLUSIVE
From John R. (Special to San-O Daze)

San Onofre, CA. - A 48-year-old man was charged Friday with disorderly conduct for allegedly lying about seeing two great white sharks, one off of San Onofre and the other off of Doheney State Beach, authorities said.

San Clemente police Chief Bob Kiefer said Archie Rice warned people to get out of the water at San Onofre State Beach on Thursday. Rice claimed he had seen a shark about 22 feet long and 3,000 pounds while he was on a stand up paddle board just off the power plant.

Officials closed the beach, but Kiefer said investigators later determined Rice was lying.

When asked by detectives where he got the board, Rice became very combative and was suspected of being high or drunk although no tests were administered, Kiefer said.

There was no listing for Rice in the city's directory. Kiefer said he had heard that Rice had asked attorney Sidney Carton, Esq. to represent him, but he was turned down.

A second beach, Doheney State Beach was closed because Rice was seen "chumming" dog remains from his kayak and then claimed to have seen the second shark, slightly larger at 28 feet and 6,000 pounds— a short while later a retired lifeguard from San Clemente said he had seen the great white shark as well.

The beaches were reopened Friday.

Foreign Statues I Don't Pretend To Understand - No. 101

New Bing Book A Blockbuster

Just got my copy and it is fantastic. Lots and lots of great old photos and stories. Well worth the price and highly recommended.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

IT To Be In Olympic Cermonies

Seen here, Chinese police practice their monocycle routine for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing. The insert shows the "It" transportation device invented by Herbert Garrison of South Park, Colorado.

Friday, July 11, 2008

San-O Girls Compete in France

Two of SanO's finest are surfing in the Roxy contest in France this week. Rachael Barry & Kaitlin Maguire, both San-O regulars, are competing in the world event. Let's wish them luck.

Nudists Take Off Gloves, Sue State Over Cover Up At San Onofre


















Nudists Sue State Over Cover Up At San Onofre

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

How Does That First Rider Up Rule Go?

SURFER TRAPPED BY BEACH BALLS

It seems that surfing at San Onofre can be a little dangerous…
A man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his beachchair and found his testicals had become stuck between two slats of wood. BK had been surfing naked off Old Mans beach and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea. When he sat down they slipped through the slats and then, as he lay in the sun, expanded back to normal size. He was freed after he called Park Rangers on his mobile phone and they sent a Ranger to cut the deckchair in half.

Tubesteak Tribute No. 500,002 - The Point

Point Disceptation? Point Disputation? Point Polemic? Point Philippic?

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

There IS a Point


The Answerman chipping in rebuilding the Point.

nothing to do with surfing


this is not the fate the matador had in mind

Fan No. 10,000,017 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

STAND UP SURFING FINALLY BANNED AT SAN ONOFRE

Lifegaurds and local law enforcement were called tuesday morning to san onofre to enforce the new ban on "stand up" surfing as the ban became effective several would be bathers attempted to evade violation tickets by paddling south of the access road, 11 paddlers were issued tickets and two arrested for outstanding warrants. let this be a warning, you will be violated if you use a paddle!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Repeat!

You gots to watch more than 36 seconds...

Warm Water

The water has warmed up. No wetsuits needed.

Fan No. 10,000,019 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

Friday, July 04, 2008

The Toll Road, The Right To Bear Arms, The Alcohol Ban, Free Speech, Gay Marriage, The Point, The Dirt Road






















It's a privilege to be here in the USA, free to discuss and debate these issues, and others. As we celebrate our independence and the founding of our republic, I am mindful that this privilege is secured each day by men and women serving in our military.

I saw this picture of a U.S. Marine, from the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, who was caught, without his helmet, by Taliban fire in Afghanistan on May 18, 2008. Obviously, he did not hesitate to stand up with the others in his squad and return fire. It reminded me of the sacrifices that those serving in our military make for all our citizens.

He was not hit and is okay.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Want To Interview The Great Tubesteak?

Yep, it's nearly impossible to get into see The Great One. At this reporter's suggestion, Mrs. Steak has installed a "take a number" dispenser on Tube's umbrella'd beach lounge. Now we can just drop by, take a number and then return in a few hours time for a face to face. No more waiting in long lines.

A Penny For Your Thoughts

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Legendary Surfer Goes To Camp

So you thought it was surf camp did ya? Previously reported surf legend was supposed to have a summer job at a famous surf camp. This reporter has uncovered the whole, awful truth. Is this famous surf camp only a cover for a Nancy Boy Camp? Is our legend only a dishwasher or a hands on counselor? This reporter demands to know!

Fan No. 10,000,020 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

Moon Phase