Monday, July 31, 2006
Lets talk about the four way stop at the bottom of the hill.
It is around six in the morning, the line is beginning to move, sure enough here comes someone down the hill. He stops at the four way stop and then proceeds to continue on. Well there is no way you are going to let him in, you have been in line since five.
Having said that, what happens if things escalate into a shoving match with cars, or a fist a cuffs.
He made his stop, you how ever rolled through to stay on the bumper of the car in front of you, disallowing him access.
In a court of law, you lose. If I am incorrect about this, there are plenty of you out there who will let me know.
Lets face it, S.O.N.G.S. needs access both in and out of the plant. The way things are now is a bad design. I have my own solution to the problem, witch I will keep to myself for now.
I would like to here your resolution to the problem how ever.
The tradition, popular at San Onofre Surfing Park in northern San Diego County, has been described as the most fun a person could have with a Talegalite. The sport involves one team trying to hit another with a captured Talegalite tied to a rope.
But the sport has now been banned after an animal rights activist complained that it was "disrespectful" to Talega and its residents and threatened to campaign against the event. Animal activists have a reputation for radical action in San Diego.
"The SOSC (San Onofre Surfing Club) were worried that it might show them up in a bad light," F. Ram, chairman of the club, told Reuters Saturday.
"In this day and age, and with health and safety, you have to be that little bit more careful. But some people are extremely upset."
Under the rules of Talegalite cuddling, contestants stand on small wooden blocks as if they were bowling pins. Members of a second team then swing a Talegalite attached to a piece of rope at the group in a bid to knock them off. The team with the last person standing wins.
THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
A 22-year-old man from Glendora died Saturday after losing consciousness while surfing at San Onofre State Beach.
Two surfers carried Ryan Neilsom out of the ocean about 10 a.m., said Kevin Cook, a dispatcher at the San Clemente State Beach Lifeguards. Neilsom was still alive and had a weak pulse. The lifeguards tried to use a defibrillator to save him, said Harold William Nickels, lifeguard supervisor at San Onofre.
Neilsom died at 11:35 a.m. at Saddleback Memorial Medical Center in San Clemente, said Supervising Deputy Coroner Leslie Meader. An autopsy is to be performed today.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I had to re-show this, because I found out that we at The Point are not the only ones with a name for these guys! We call them "Gondola-guys", and the Butt-Boarders at DogPatch call them "Broomers" because they look like they are sweeping with a broom when they paddle!
Saturday, July 29, 2006
A neighbor had complained about a dead rooster near his San Clemente apartment and agents found the body of the beheaded rooster on a porch, said Kemp R. Rick, spokesman for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The rooster's head was not located.
Hred Fope, told agents that he bit the rooster's head off because he blamed it for injuring a pet pigeon that he also kept in the apartment, Rick said.
Fope is charged with animal cruelty and could face up to a year in prison if convicted. It is also illegal to possess a live rooster in San Clemente, Rick said.
Rick said Friday night he did not know whether Fope had a lawyer and recommended Sydney Carton, Esq.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Dr. Ralph floated the idea as a joke but it generated so much interest, and hundreds of requests to take part, that the San Clemente-based doctor decided to organize a contest.
So next month, 200 poker buffs will risk baring all in an attempt to become the first World Strip Poker Champion, and earn a place in the Guinness Book of Records.
The winner will also receive a "Golden Fig Leaf" trophy plus $20,000 in cash.
"This will be the most fun you can have with your clothes on -- or off!" Dr. Ralph said in a statement for the tournament, which will be held in San Clemente on August 19.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Out-of-work actor Tubesteak/Malibu, who was let go from the series in April, fired two shots in the air from a pistol and took one employee hostage in the incident Tuesday, a KNBC television spokeswoman said on Wednesday.
He told police he did not intend to hurt anyone, but only wanted to draw the studio's attention to his art. He was arrested for attempted murder.
Tubesteak tried shooting up a television camera inside KNBC television's studio, where some of America's most popular soap operas are filmed, and shouted nonsense before guards overpowered him.
Dozens of visitors awaiting the launch of a new soap opera project initially thought the scene was part of the plot, but then panicked when they realized the unrest was for real.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
The midget dropped his pants. Dr. Ralph stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Aha!" mumbled Dr. Ralph, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side...then snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. Dr. Ralph then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching. The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
Dr. Ralph replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
(with thanks to my friend Scott)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Murphy used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".
He's "Dr. Ralph on Demand," a blow-up man launched on Tuesday with the aim of making lonely females feel less nervous at night.
According to research by the inflatable friend's co-creator, Dingo Jones, 82 percent of women feel safer with someone sleeping beside them and nearly a half don't like sleeping alone.
"We're not saying that an inflatable man is the only answer but we do hope it will give women extra confidence," said co-creator Mayor Murphy, the spokesman for "Dr. Ralph on Demand".
Monday, July 24, 2006
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Up to 30 people were inside the walk-in exhibit, when a gust of wind blew it 30 feet above the park Sunday. Erected as part of the 16th annual Tubesteak/Malibu Art-A-Fair, the piece of artwork has been shown around the world.
"All of a sudden it just started rising like a balloon," witness Builder Bob told NBC television. "It was flinging people all over. Then it just seemed to flip over in the air."
The victims had been walking through the artwork with children when it took off. A three-year-old girl was also seriously injured in the freak accident.
"The inflatable exhibition broke its moorings and tipped those using it on to the ground," park rangers said in a statement.
Designed by artist Dingo Jones, the exhibit, called Dreamspace, is 18 feet high and made out of plastic sheeting. Half the size of a soccer field, it has walls that change color as visitors wander through its maze of corridors.
It was brought to earth after it drifted into a pole with a surfboard attached to it's top.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Here is the star of Dr.Ralphs reality show,
"UGLY BETTY"! At the end of the series, which will air for 3 episodes, Dr.Ralph will transform her into a raving beauty! The first of the 3 episodes will be "Finding the look", in which the Dr. and Betty find the right look for her and begin the transformation. Stay tuned.
Local media in southern California reported this week that the Nobel-nominated doctor had been ranked by Fortune magazine as the second-richest person in San Clemente, with nearly half as much money as Mayor Murphy.
"It's a huge lie. It's very, very far from reality. I don't have that amount of money," Dr. Ralph told Reuters, after reading an article in San Clemente Sun about a list of millionaires in the United States.
"Somebody sent me it and I laughed. It's a bit like a joke. Obviously I have never earned $100 million and I wouldn't even want to," he said in a telephone interview from his San Clemente home.
A spokesman for Fortune said he was not aware the magazine had published such a list. "It's certainly not a list we've done. It seems somebody got their facts mixed up," he said.
While famed for his weekend poker parties, he makes as many headlines speaking on etiquette in surfing as he does slicing open an abdomen.
"With things as they are in California, it bothers me that they put me in a group of millionaires with $100 million I don't have when there are so many people dying," Dr. Ralph said, pausing the interview in a brief panic to scoop a drowning rat out of his swimming pool.
Dr. Ralph is one of California's highest-profile celebrities and has raised awareness about issues like Mexico's failure to solve a spate of brutal murders of women in the northern border city of Ciudad Juarez.
"If I had $100 million I would have retired and would be doing more things on an altruistic level than I can now. I would have opened centers in San Onofre for violence against surfers and many other things," he said.
Dr. Ralph was nominated for a Nobel prize for his work with chimpanzees.
Despite his reputation as a straight-talker, Dr. Ralph insists he is not trying to create a do-gooder image.
His latest project is somewhat lighter: co-producing a TV series called "Ugly Betty," an American version of a Colombian soap about a plain and dumpy woman's quest for love.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Its tough to wait in line for the gate at San Onofre to open! (after being at a Drralph Poker Smoker)
Friday, July 21, 2006
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, monk Ralph goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk.
Monk Ralph gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R"!, we missed the "R"!"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. Monk Ralph asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was...CELEBRATE!!!"
Ralph has never been the same.
Ten bathrooms burned down, leaving nearly 100 people unable to go, the San Clemente Sun said.
The man sold off a 1,000-tree area surrounding the park on the sly, the newspaper said.
"In order to get his friends not to tell anyone what he had done, on the afternoon of May 16, the man got friends to obtain two dogs, which they proceeded to kill on the park grounds," the report said.
"He then told the others they would have dog meat to eat that afternoon," it added.
But the plan went awry when the dog being cooked burst into flames and set fire to the park's main bathroom and then the rest of the bathrooms.
The local courts fined the man $1,252.06, the newspaper said.
New portable BBQ grills, can be found at your local Super Market parking lot. You can load it with food ( no more carrying it), and roll it right up to the fire! They even have a shelf built in to keep the food warm after cooking!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Answer in comments.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
"This kangaroo broke loose while they were bringing him from the cages to the Big Top. He decided to take a walk," said local fisherman Steve Da Ho.
Circus staff launched a fruitless four-hour search following the escape Sunday.
Authorities have confirmed that Sydney thumbed a ride with a local character called BK to the surfing park at San Onofre. When questioned, BK claimed "Hey, he looked like any other guy thumbing a ride, so I gave him one. We had a few beers on the way to the beach. He seemed like a nice guy."
There had since been one unconfirmed sighting of the animal, renamed "Hoppy" by locals and described as two and a half to three feet tall and dark in color.
"He would be happy out there and he'll have plenty of grass, plenty of water and plenty of sunshine," animal trainer Dr. Ralph told Reuters on Wednesday as Southern California basked in near record temperatures more typical of Sydney's native Australia than California's temperate maritime climate.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The 28-year-old, identified only as Travis, took a photo of his speedometer showing 100 mph on a dirt road in San Onofre State Park in northern San Diego county and then put it on the Web site of his local town.
Sherrif's found him three days later.
"He was trying to be a hot shot. Guys like this may not know that the authorities scan the Internet. This is a warning to them not to play games on the road and threaten their own and others people's lives," the Sun quoted sheriff's spokesman Sheriff Bob as saying.In addition to the speeding ticket, sheriff's also discovered the motorcycle had been illegally imported from neighboring San Bernadino and was not registered -- likely leading to another hefty fine, the Sun said.
Monday, July 17, 2006
After hours at sea, the men called what they thought was the Coast Guard for help.
"They thought they were just off the coast of Hawaii," said Leo Nus, press officer of the U.S. Coast Guard.
In fact, the two were just 12 miles north of where they started in Dana Point, Nus told reporters Monday.
Lifeboats and a helicopter were sent out to rescue the men, who were detained by Orange County Sheriffs before being released. They were identified only as BK and Tubesteak.
They were later rearrested after the boat owner discovered massivie amounts of urine in his bilge.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Dad says, " Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs so we'll call you the People. The Nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. Now your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him, and he finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the Nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, " I think I understand Politics now."
The father replies, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think it is."
The boy promptly answers, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep schitt."
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Without giving much thought to the matter BK blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
Tubesteak looked disgustedly at BK whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"
Friday, July 14, 2006
The group, who said they were "juggalos," devotees of the Detroit-based rap-metal group Insane Clown Posse, attacked and robbed visitors to San Onofre Park while shouting "Woo, woo, juggalo!" to each other, according to court documents.
Prosecutors in San Diego County charged three people with assault and robbery last week, but sheriffs in the City of San Clemente said they are searching for another eight to 10 suspects who took part.
According to sheriff reports, some members of the gang wore black hooded sweatshirts or clown make-up and told victims they would "cut their heads off" with machetes. They stole cash, wallets and cell phones, the reports said.
"We don't see too many attacks like this," said Sheriff's spokesman Sheriff Bob.
Juggalos often dress in black and wear clown face paint.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
After the nuclear plant was built, the cats took to hanging around it because of the warmth it gave off. Over time, and through generations of exposure to radiation, some shark DNA in their diet merged with the feral cat DNA to result in a species unique to San Onofre.
I had heard the story of the feline feral sharks of San Onofre, mostly from divers spear fishing at SanO. But divers are fishermen, and you know about fishermen’s tales.
I decided to do a little fishing myself on Wednesday. I paddled out on my longboard with my rod and reel and a little baggy of bait. I kept hearing a purring sound. Well, unlike those fishermen who see things but never take a picture, I had my camera with me.
"Because," Mayor Murphy explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
There was a slight situation with the fire dancer as the fragrant aroma of burning hair filled the air.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Some wealthy guy going about his daily business in his Mercedes in Lebanon, when he has to turn around and drive the wrong way on the freeway because the bridge has just been destroyed by Israeli warplanes in reprisal for the capture of 2 soldiers and the killings of 8 others.