Thursday, August 28, 2008

Weather Alert

Click here for hurricane info.

AND THE WINNER IS

In the old days, if something broke down and needed to be repaired.
You would either Jury Rig, Mickey Mouse, or in more resent times MacGyver it back together.
The first and the third fix was always easily understood, but to Mickey Mouse something?
Having said that.

If McCain is elected our next leader, we will have a Mickey Mouse answer to the problems of our nation.

If Obama is elected, it would be a JURY-RIG solution to our mess.

Until MacGyver runs for the highest office, lets leave him out of this.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

You Can Learn So Much About A Person When They Open Their Mouth




















Take this woman for instance. She is not unattractive. She looks normal. Somehow she chose to sunbathe right in the middle of the volleyball courts.

I was there when a couple of guys asked her politely if she could move because she was sitting in the middle of the courts and they wanted to play volleyball. She started fulminating about how she was there first and it's a public beach and she was using the volleyball court in her "own way" and that she has the same rights as everybody else. Before anyone could respond, her tirade became so vulgar that it would make a French Legionnaire blush. People were literally hurrying away from the scene. Mothers covered their children's ears as they carried them away. Someone called 911 and reported that there was a mentally deranged woman yelling at children, though I did not see her direct any of her attacks at children.

Forty-five minutes later she was still there, lying on her towel in the middle of the volleyball courts.

Monday, August 25, 2008

COINCIDENCE????

Obama Biden
Osama Binladen

Don't Fall Asleep At San Onofre

RIP Midget

Surfer/Shaper Midget Smith lost his battle with cancer yesterday. The San Clemente local passed away at his home surrounded by his family and close friends. Smith was first diagnosed with the deadly disease over 20 years ago and beat it. His cancer then came back in the last year and he had been fighting it ever since. Midget Smith also was the head judge for the ASP North America and played a major role in the San Clemente progressive surfing movement back in the 1970’s and 80’s. RIP Midget Smith.

From the OC Register
by Jeff Malanca

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Experience Counts

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota .

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John Mc. returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.

Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'

The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), Harry said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?'

Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.'

The Sandbar was going off this morning. What's with the dog on the beach?!?

On the trail of Bigfoot

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Shit Hits The Microwave




















San Clemente. CA (API) -- Police in San Clemente are looking for three men who were involved in cooking human feces in a convenience store microwave oven.

Police say one of the men placed a one gallon plastic baggie with human feces inside of it inside the oven and set the timer for ten minutes.

They say it happened on August 21th at approximately 10:45 p.m. at the 7-11 in San Clemente.

The men left the area, and after the bag exploded, it ruined the microwave costing approximately $3,500.00 in damage. The store had to be aired out for a long period of time, causing lost profits.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Airlines' fees for surfboards are dinging surfers

By Peter Pae, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
August 22, 2008

Swelling airline fees are wiping out traveling surfers' hopes of catching the next big wave.

Some airlines are now charging surfers as much as $300 to take along a surfboard. That's significantly higher than the $15 fee that big carriers began charging for the first checked bag, a move that has riled passengers.

The fee, among the highest of airline charges, is grounding some surfers and has created an unusual uproar among an otherwise mellow surf community. Fees for bicycles, skis and other sports equipment have also been rising, but not as much as surfboard.

Surfers note that most airlines don't charge for golf bags, while surfers are paying as much as $300 a board for international flights. That's nearly as much as a new board can cost. Avid surfers take as many as four boards in a bag, which can mean a $1,200 bill, or $2,400 for a round trip.

Last year, British Airways, despite petitions from 14,000 surfers, went so far as to ban surfboards altogether.

"Why are we being singled out?" asked Evan Slater, a surfer and editor in chief of San Clemente-based Surfing magazine. "It's not like we're carrying nuclear weapons, and these surfboards aren't much heavier than a carry-on."

The charges have gotten so gnarly that some professional surfers are calling for a boycott of airlines that have high fees and are putting out their own personal lists of surfer-friendly carriers that wave riders should patronize. One of the hottest surfing websites is now also a guide to airline fees.

"It's a big issue for us," said Rusty Long, a San Clemente-based professional surfer who spends nine months out of the year traveling in search of the big wave. "It's ridiculous when you're having to pay more for your board than the price of your airline ticket."

Long was on Nantucket Island, Mass., this week but was looking to chase a swell moving up the East Coast. He said he has been telling his fans to avoid Delta Air Lines, Continental Airlines and United Airlines.

Charges on those carriers can exceed $150 a board, depending on the destination. He recommends JetBlue Airways, which charges $50 a board, and international carriers such as Qantas Airways and Air New Zealand, which don't charge for surfboards.

Surfers say they've considered shipping their surfboards via FedEx or United Parcel Service but the cost can range from a few hundred dollars to several thousands depending on the destination. Renting a board can also be expensive. Renting a decent board can cost as much as $100 a day, and most travelers spend several days or more surfing on a trip.

Because of the high fees, Long said he's cut back on eating out and partying when traveling.

"You have to skip nice meals and give up that nice bottle of tequila," he said.

The surfboard fees are high because the boards require special care and extra handling, Delta said. They don't go through the normal baggage carousel but must be carried on special elevators to the claims area.

"There are handling costs associated with surfboards that we have to account for," Delta spokesman Kent Landers said. The hike in charges also reflects a general increase in fees to "cover and reflect the unprecedented increase in fuel costs," he added.

Fuel costs, which have increased more than 70% since last year, could leave the industry with more than $6 billion in losses this year, according to an airline trade group.

But surfers contend that the fees for their boards are unfairly high compared with other items. Although they are large and need special handling as an oversize bag, a typical short board weighs about 4 pounds while a larger board may swell to only 15 pounds.

"It's not the weight thing," said Marcus Sanders, a Huntington Beach surfer and editor of surfing website Surfline.com, whose airline fee guide received 20,000 hits in the first two days it was posted last month. "They just think that it's an extra pain on their employees, that the boards take up extra space on their planes and that we make up a small percentage of its passengers."

At Los Angeles International Airport on Wednesday, Mark Cowan was hit with an $80 fee for his kite board, which resembles a small surfboard that a rider stands on as he is pulled across the water by a large kite.

The fee charged by Hawaiian Airlines was on top of the extra $100 Cowan paid Delta to fly from Colorado to Los Angeles before his connecting flight to the island of Oahu.

"You know, I just realized I'm going to be paying $360 to take my board along," Cowan, a Ridgway, Colo., resident, said after checking in his board, which was 4 feet, 9 inches long and weighed about 11 pounds. "It's robbery."

If the fees get any higher, Cowan said he may forgo taking his board along and buy one at his destination since it could cost about the same as the airline fee, or about $400 a board. Like other avid surfers, Cowan said renting a used board was out of the question.

To cut the fee he faced, surfboard maker Danny Villasenor decided to leave one of his two demo boards behind in Los Angeles instead of taking it back home to Oahu. He was in Southern California trying to sell his custom boards.

American Airlines used to charge $25 a surfboard, Villasenor said, but the fee jumped to $100 recently.

"If it gets any higher I'll have to bring pictures" of the boards instead, Villasenor said, adding that he felt particularly sympathetic to the plight of surfers. "Most of these guys who travel with their boards don't have money. They don't stay in fancy resorts. They go to catch a wave and camp."

SWEET DREAMS, SLEEPERS....



Not satisfied with Spin's Kazoo's, Murphy and Puttzle rehearse their own rendition of Count Basie's "One O'clock Jump" at the ninth hole of the Shorecliffs Golf Course. Ready or not, they will be performing for the line sleepers at 4am this Saturday.

San-O Beach Tip No. 89: Bocce Rules




















Yes, you've got it right. It's 3 points for a hit and 1 point for closest, but right now I just want you to point to the ball closest to the pallino because we have 4 more to throw.

Complete San Onofre Bocce Rules in comments section.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Star Gazers Surf Band Practice Announcement

Musical instruments have been purhased. Our first formal band practice shall be Saturday, August 23rd at 0400 of course. Hopefully some of our friendly RVers with get there nice and early, say about 0200, to hear us practice. It sure would be a shame if we woke them up.

Dog Days Of San Onofre - 002

Wants To Run Fro SOSC BOD President

The man has excellent credentials and surfs the Point regularly. He would be a real asset to San Onofre.

Vote For Beaver Cleaver for SOSC BOD PRESIDENT.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

In Your Face Anonymous

Go ahead, I dare you.

video

Drooling, Yelping Puppy Need Good Home

Some A-Hole was kicking this 10 week old Blue Nosed Pit Bull Puppy today, so of course I bought it off him. She is a real cutie pie but I cannot have her as I already have the 150 lb. Murph. Let me know if you know of a good family looking for a cute puppy. Free to good people. See Spin, Dingo, Puttzle, Archie or Murphy for my contact info. Sorry to put this on our surfing blog but need to find her a home quick.

Solution To The Bathroom Shortage At San Onofre

Monday, August 18, 2008

Still Not My Pick


Sen. Obama took some much needed time off today,
from the riggers of his current bid to become
the next President of the United States.
While body slamming a few waves at Sano,
he made it a point to reassure everyone on hand at the time that the 241 extension would be delayed indefinitely.
He was also quick to put to rest any ideas the Navy Department has about using the water inlet just to the north as a hover craft training area.

A Thought On The Changes At San Onofre

First they came for the drinkers,
And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a drinker;





And then they came for the nudists,
And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a nudist;








And then they came for the dog owners,
And I didn't speak up because I didn't own a dog;












And then they came for me,
And by that time there was no one left to speak up.

THE NEW UNIFORM OF THE 4-AM DAWN PATROL...

The Daily celebratory parade starts at the gate every morning at 4am. The parade route is repeated to the end of the line and back until the gate opens. Special weekend summer editions of the parade begin at 3am through Labor day.

New Signs At San-O Kiosk Line

Due to several complaints from the early morning RV crowd, new signs will be going up today all along the entrance to the kiosk. Evidently, some RVer's have complained of excessive, deliberate shouting, provoked dog barking & howling, fowl language and loud whistling in the early morning hours before San Onofre opens. A rather huge man was seen acosting and elderly woman early Sunday morning. He was seen holding something large in his hand while shouting, "why don't you stuff this in your mouth you old bag?". Numberous noise complaints have recently been filed by several RVer's who like to arrive at San Onofre near midnight, then sleep in their RV's until the kiosk opens. Some have even reported fights breaking out between the locals and RVer's. The new new noise abatement policy will take effect on Friday, August 22nd.

THE SHADOW KNOWS....


Identify and win!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Not our fault, No Apologies

Recently we have been experiencing some problems when attempting to post YouTube videos. YouTube would say it was posting them, but nothing would show up. Evidently, last night they all decided to show. That would explain all the videos that appear below. Deal with it, repeats and all.

Woman Spotted Yesterday Reading Today's Newspaper

Thursday, August 14, 2008

San-O Pair Indicted In Payoff Scheme


Archie Rice and Spin Evans were idicted today for illegal payoffs to secure construction contracts. It was reported that large amounts of cash and even gifts of new surfboards were were used to garner multiple contract awards. The pair was realeased on O.R. pending their next court appearance. This is not the first time these two contractors have been in hot water according to the District Attorney's office.

Fan No. 10,000,031 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Dusty Road

If you are going to sit on the logs and chat with your friends at San Onofre, you will pick up a little road dust from passing vehicles.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Still Making It Happen


While on my escape to Bolivia, I stopped by La Saladita near Zihuatanejo for a week. In the water every single morning for 2-3 hours was Corky, still gettin it done with class and joy. He was joking with everyone in the water and kept everything very upbeat. This guy can still surf with the best of them. He is a true ambassador to the sport and lifestyle. He even gave me a wave, saying "go ahead, there's plenty here for everyone".

Fan No. 10,000,030 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Washing Mrs. Slocombe's Pussy




















In the long running sitcom Are You Being Served?, Mrs. Slocombe is often heard to be concerned with the welfare of her pussy. This double entendre was also used with some other cast members of the show, showing their unawareness, with lines such as "I hope this meeting won't take very long, it's very unfair on Mrs. Slocombe's pussy". In the episode "Calling All Customers", Mrs. Slocombe calls a lonely trucker on Mr. Humphries’ CB radio. The trucker tells her he’s hauling dynamite, and proceeds to ask her about her interests. She notes gardening, but that her pussy is her favorite hobby. She exclaims that she has a mantle full of trophies and that it wins a medal every time she shows it. Then follows the sound of screeching tires and an explosion. Mr. Humphries laments that the trucker has "pulled off for a coffee".

Saturday, August 09, 2008

News Of My Demise Is Premature

Due to ongoing IRS issues and inevitable prison time, I have decided to relocate to sunny Bolivia. I cashed in my I.G.G. Fund (ill gotten gains) and headed for sunny Zihuatanejo for some waves and fun at La Saladita then off to Bolivia. Before leaving, I filled my kayak with my gear along with about 50 lbs of bloody meat, shoved it out to sea, thus the bogus shark attack. Sorry if I worried you all but the Spin is safe and sound and loving life. I will contact you all again when able.

Man Seeks Woman

Friday, August 08, 2008

Persons of Interest in Tubesteak Disappearance


























Citizens concerned about Tubesteak's disappearance have gotten together with the San Clemente Police Department. Based upon descriptions provided by members of the San-O Daze blog, sketches of several persons who were in the general vicinity of Tubesteak near the time he was last seen have been prepared by top police sketch artists.

Local authorities are now asking for the public's help. If you have seen any of these people, please, we implore you, post all information you can here and we will route it to the proper authorities.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Spin

The news from Mexico is not good. Not good at all. An extensive search for Spin has been called off after authorities found his battered kayak washed up on the beach. The kayak was essentially "bit in two" by what they are saying was a great white shark. Officials are presuming Spin is lost. We at San-O Daze have not given up hope and are planning our next move. Dr. Ralph has offered his services to lead a search party.

Once again, we ask for your prayers for Spin's safe return, or at least the returns of any remains.

MAYOR ATTEMPTS TO PROVE TO TUBESTEAK THAT THERE IS A POINT...


Surfing Calendar 2008





















I ordered this calendar without seeing it. The description said that it was a "Surf's Up Boardriding Calendar." I suppose that is true, as far as it goes, but every month turned out to be a nude guy, or sometimes 2 or 3. Here's the mildest pose.

Did I miss some obvious "code words" in the description of the calendar or something? I ask because I am not the market to which this calendar is so clearly targeted. I mean, I remember when "gay" meant carefree, really happy, or joyful; and now it is a synonym for homosexuality. Did the meaning of "Surf's Up" or "Boardriding" change when I wasn't paying attention?

MAGGOT-MAN FOUND BEHIND 4-DOORS...

Alerted by a foul smelling odor, Park Rangers found this vagabond sleeping in the bushes behind 4-Doors.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Latest Spin on News

Here's the latest on Spin's disappearance. Late last night, an oar of the type Spin used was found floating in the line-up. There has been no definite identification of the oar as being Spin's, but it is of the same brand and color. Dr. Ralph, after examining a live stream of what was purported to be the oar, remarked that it had bite marks, which he attributed to a great white shark.

While no one is saying it, it appears that we may have lost Spin forever.

Her Brand Spanking New Tattoo

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Spin is Missing!

We at San-O Daze received word today from deep in Mexico that Spin is missing. He took his pet shark out for a cruise yesterday afternoon and had not returned as of this morning. A search is underway and we will keep everyone posted as more news becomes available. Pray for his safe return.

Tubesteak Tribute No. 500,008 - Dogs 2.0

Monday, August 04, 2008

Mr. Steak

I know that you have repeatedly said "there is no Point at San Onofre." In the past, Murphy has tried to persuade you differently and posted the Google Earth shot of what sure looks like a point. However, I now have seen the definitive proof! Follow this link and read away, my friend!

HE MADE THE COVER.....

And being the modest man that he is, never told us.


Fan No. 10,000,026 of Tubesteak’s Video Blog Tubesteak

Sunday, August 03, 2008

News from Spin


Spin sent us this picture from his "secret" spot, down old Mexico way. Since he couldn't take his dog, Murphy, he adopted a new pet to keep him company during his stay.

Murphy's dream



(Click the pic)

What Murphy does in his spare time

Guiness Beer Ad

Talented, isn't he?
(Click the pic)

My Least Favorite Surf Shop


























They used to sell surfboards, old LPs, and books. New management took over and they switched almost exclusively to books. It never had the same comfortable feel after the change. But maybe it was me . . . I didn't want to have a comfortable feel.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Moon Phase