Trestles on a normal day.

Trestles during a contest with half a million lookie-loos trying to kiss Kelly Slaters ass. Which do you prefer?

A San Onofre man was found dead in his motorhome over the weekend. Park Rangers at the scene found the man face down in his RV's bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt. Rangers suspect it was done by ...
... a cereal killer.

WOW!

Well, while the rest of you were philosophizing about locals, Starbucks, Coronas, and ex-girlfriends while confusing Murphy with Dingo, you missed all the nudity at Dogpatch! I can't post most of the photos, but you can get the idea from this. So here is what happened. Three bus loads of swedish massage students went out for their monthly nude sun bathing excursion. They thought that they were going to trail 6, but not having been there before, only knew it was at the end of San Onofre. Hence, they ended up at Dogpatch. I had the place to myself with them as everyone else was either commenting on the last post, or swooning around lowers for Kelly Slater's autograph!

Signs like this one are being posted all over San Onofre surf beach this weekend. And the park will not allow anyone with less than 25 years of surfing experience to enter the water during this very large swell! And don't try and say you have the experience, because if you lie to the Rangers and they see you do not, they will arrest you on the spot and revoke your permit to enter the state parks for 1 year. (if you live!)

Experienced surfers only! That means 96.3% of you do not belong in the water! Of course the other 3.7% of you who do know what they're doing are the only ones reading this blog anyway, so its a moot point.

WHALE BLOWN UP AT SAN ONOFRE!

Gory end at San Onofre
A beached whale was blown up in front of horrified children yesterday after rescuers failed to get it back into deep water. Onlookers watched as explosives were strapped behind the 30 foot Southern Right whale's head and detonated, killing it instantly. Many of them shouted insults at rangers as the whale died. Later, officials at San Onofre defended the way the beast was killed on the beach at Old mans. Hal Dairywimple, of the State Parks, said explosives were recommended for such cases by the International Whaling Commission. Other options, such as shooting the whale or injecting it with drugs, were considered riskier and more painful for the animal. Dozens of local surfers and rescue workers had spent the night trying to get the whale back into the sea. But by daybreak the high tide had washed it further up the beach, where it became stuck on sand and was clearly suffering, officials said. The whale was either sick or had just became trapped.

Harding got a new toy! Here he is at bathroom #4. Is that JW/TBK strapped to the front? I hope they didn't get him for impersonating a squad car. (Those of you who don't know JW/TBK may not understand)

Look what washed ashore this morning. He appears somewhat familiar, but I can't quite place him. INS agents thought he was from Mexico, so they ignored him.

It was so hot today at San Onofre you could fry an egg on just about anything.

Those of you who were at this weekends contest know about the bees! They were aggresive and everywhere! Damn near everyone got stung multiple times. Benadryl was is short supply as victim after victim was treated by lifeguards who themselves were covered with stings. There was no escape in the water as this type of bee gets all excited from red tide! This photo was Tubesteaks soda can seconds after he opened it!

As everyone was leaving San Onofre last night Ranger Hal Dairywimple set up a sobriety check point at the gate. Todays Headline in the paper says it all. It worked only because he ate a pair of "Fruit of the Loom's" he found in bathroom #4.

The Oil companies are banning together during the gas crisis. If you plan to pump their gas, you can bet the're going to pump you!

The contest went off without a hitch...except for this unnamed contestant. Women and children ran screaming and crying when he decided to catch a few rays. Lets see who can guess who this is! Winner gets a free lunch of Psyllium husks with Tubesteak.

The awards dinner after the contest today was a great success, until the tide came in!

The Hawaiian Surf Club liked the Mayors "Slow Down" sign so much, they decided to post their own.

Ready for the Weenie dog races?

What can happen when you use Cialis and it lasts for more than 4 hours.

As Dingo tries to defuse a bomb found at Old Man's, the Mayor decides to play a joke on him!

This beach Babe has shown up at San Onofre every day this summer. She's only 23 and has a big crush on Dingo! She really makes the guys tongues hang out.