Thursday, August 03, 2006

Dr. Ralph was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for his dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind him asked if he had a dog. On impulse, he told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms. He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with Dr. Ralph's story, particularly a fat lady behind her. Horrified, she asked if he'd been poisoned and was that why he was in the hospital? He said no...He'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him.


the contortionist said...

Why would he be licking his ball?

Pluto said...

Because he can.

Moon Phase