Thursday, January 29, 2009

San-O Daze Seeks Bailout Funds

SAN CLEMENTE (BS) - The San-O Daze B.O.D. announced today his intention to seek funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP).

"Due to decreased revenue from ads and declining readership numbers, we are forced to apply for TARP funds to stay afloat", San-O Daze B.O.D. Puttzle said. "Without this funding, we will have to shut down".

San-O Daze, a no-frills blog about surfing, was founded by former Senator Al Gore in 1974 and is the oldest continuous surfing site on the internet. In it's heyday, over 6 million visitors accessed the site daily.

"We have tried everything we can think of to keep going, including bringing in additional contributors and changing our format, but none of that made it profitable", according to Puttzle.

Detractors point out that Puttzle has been indicted for embezzling funds from the company.

According to Sheriff Bob, lead investigator in the case, a former contributor known as "Popeye" is the likely culprit and charges against Puttzle should be dismissed later next week and an indictment handed down on Popeye.

12 comments:

SETH said...

Sheriff Bob, Popeye, Puttzle? Ye gawds, you yokals are in la-la land.

Anonymous said...

What happened to Engineer Bill?

Obama said...

I'll give you your bailout if San-O Daze promises to disappear and never return!

Fats Flannighan said...

I knew it!! Popeye & Murphy are both a little sketchy. Murphy has been getting a new surfboard every month and he has no job or visible means of support. He's at the beach every day or on the golf course and hasn't worked in years.

SO TUFF said...

Good for him, Farts. He's a beach bum in the true sense.

paul drake said...

POPEYE HAS RETIRED UNDER A "GOLDEN UMBRELLA"! WE HEARD HE HAS BOUGHT A SMALL ISLAND IN THE PACIFIC CHAIN AND IS SURFING HIS ASS OFF! HE WAS GOING TO INVITE FATS AND THE BOYS OVER, HOW EVER UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES HE WILL ONLY INVITE PUTTZLE AND DINGO!

sinful said...

Paul might that not be a 'Golden Shower' with the Puttzer and Dingo?

Fats Flannighan said...

in business circles we call that a "Golden Parachute" but a golden shower is always nice.

an observer said...

Hey SETH/SO TUFF/sinful, you have way too much time on your hands.

DUNCE said...

Oh yes, but shall they do what? I, myself, am suggestionless. Maybe they should get paper routes. How's by yourself. What shall they do?

man drake said...

THEY COULD ALWAYS BECOME "FLUFFERS"! THE'RE ON THE "DOWN LOW" ANYWAYS!

puttzle said...

Stop it Willis, you're killing me!

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