Monday, March 10, 2008



Local resident and notewothy poet Archy Rice was found slumped over his steering wheel at San Onofre State Beach Sunday afternoon. After what friends called a "rant" about the biased unprofessional judging at the N.S.S.A. surfing contest held at Church beach which concluded yesterday, he suffered a stroke in his vehicle. Archy is well loved by all and has a magnanimous personality uniting people wherever he goes. He is a well known poet, skydiver, big wave rider and for a period, Senator from the state of Nevada. Archy first came to San Clemente in 1959 After going overboard on a cargo ship headed for San Francisco, after being at sea for twelve days he walked up on the beach at Ole Hanson Beach club. Archy First gained Nationwide attention by being the first man to ever Ride a wave over 100 feet tall at (then unknown) Cortez Bank. Then, as if that werent enough, he introduced Rice Farming to Indonesia as part of his effort to end world hunger, he is credited with saving millions of indonesians with his simple ideas for burning rice hull ash to reinvigorate the soil in the rice paddies.

Archy is not expected to survive, and remains on life support, more on this as it becomes available................ A.P. Curran Swaydasal


Anonymous said...


Schotzy, pull the plug, please. He must not suffer.

father o' malley said...

Hey Arch, is
in Coma near in Communicado.

Anonymous said...

Archie's son, who is fondly known as "Cannonball" was definitely robbed. He had an easy second place.

Anonymous said...

If we smoke his ashes is possible that we would contract that wicked case of Gout and genital warts that plagued him while he was living? -Anonymous Contest Organizer

Anonymous said...

It is obvious to anyone watching the event that the judges had cranial / rectal inversions. as a close personal friend of archy, I will concur he is not a whiner about bad judging. when alan c. moore ripped him off, it was a joke, but this is the nssa, national schoolastic stupid a-s's. idiots, 1 and all.

Moon Phase