Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sundays Lesson

Please take a moment to consider these verses, I am going to try to save you people from what will be a horrible eternal demise.
As a service to san o daze readers, i will post a new lesson every sunday. Aloha, and good surfing, Lou
Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)

Don't have a variety of crops on the same field. (Leviticus 19:19)
Don't wear clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19)
Don't cut your hair nor shave. (Leviticus 19:27)
Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. (Leviticus 20:9) Have you ever done that?
If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. (Leviticus 20:10). I wonder if Dr. Laura would like that one to be enforced?
If a man sleeps with his father's wife... both him and his father's wife is to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:11)
If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death. (Leviticus 20:14)
If a man or woman has sex with an animal, both human and animal must be killed. (Leviticus 20:15-16). I guess you should kill the animal since they were willing participants. Are they crazy?
If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be "cut off from their people" (Leviticus 20:18)
Psychics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned to death. (Leviticus 20:27)
If a priest's daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake. (Leviticus 21:9)
People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18)
Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community. (Leviticus 24:14-16)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Garrett doesn't wear a leash, Taylor doesn't wear a leash, Laird doesn't wear a leash, Joshua doesn't wear one. These guys are being towed into 50' waves. How many 'Nofre guys wear life preservers?

surfing rabbi said...

Best news yet. For the third straight year Paskowitz Family have been designated as Family of the year at San Onofre State Surf Beach.
Congratulations all you Paskowitz'. A job well done.

rocks at the ready said...

Amen.
It's time we got back to basics. It's time we got back to G-d.

Anonymous said...

I second the Paskowitz nomination. Let's get them in.

surfing rabbi said...

I think they already in. Go see their movie "Surfwise".

Anonymous said...

MARANATHA PASTOR BLESS YOU!

Anonymous said...

The road is saved. 70% chance of rain means no rain. Drive right in.

[Anon'#4]

><> said...

Goodwill is the only asset
that competition cannot
undersell or destroy."

><>

Anonymous said...

San Clemen te camera shows worse storm ever. Change, San Onofre dirt road closed until farther notice. No one goes in. Period!

[anon'#12]

Anonymous said...

Get that bitch out of here now!

surfing rabbi said...

I don't like the rain. Please, Lord, make it stop.

Moon Phase