Sunday, November 05, 2006

Naked Man With Concealed Weapon Arrested at SanO

SAN ONOFRE, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors -- naked -- and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, San Clemente CSI investigators said.

The man was lying on a windvane, recently downed by a freak kite accident, and he was observed masturbating. The area is where the proposed toll road will terminate at San Onofre beach.

The man, not yet identified, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, he mentioned the tool, said San Clemente CSI Chief Investigator, Sponge Bob Squarepants.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Squarepants said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Squarepants removed a 11-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

The man, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Squarepants said.

It was not immediately clear what the man was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether the man had a lawyer. He quoted the man as saying that he knew all the people would soon be coming to San Onofre on the toll road and he just wanted to beat the rush, and having had beaten everyone there, he decided that, well, you get the idea.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You changed the real story to remove your name as the man concealing the weapon! You're worse than the comment deleters!

Ali G said...

I really don't see the problem here, mon.
I mean, 11 inches, that a bloody compliment.
Posh Spice would be proud.
Respect to you Sydney!

Anonymous said...

Ali, you belong in the Hollywood Wax Museum.

don't you think said...

This is a very nice diversionary doublethink idea.

KICK BOARDER said...

"HEY, BK. GET THE HELL DOWN FROM THE WIND INDICATOR.

Anonymous said...

This souds like something Munoz would be involed in.

learned hand said...

Hey, I read this yesterday.
When you are lazy a--holes going to update this f---ing blog?

lefty said...

Learned Hand my ass.
That's anonymous.

Dr. Ralph said...

Hey L.H. What do you think this is, the Steve Allen Show?

Hand of God said...

Shut up doctor ralph.

Dr. Ralph said...

Quite simply Hog,NO.

Moon Phase