Thursday, April 21, 2005

NEW FAT-FRIENDLY POTTIES ENDANGERING THE SKINNY!

Skinny surfers are falling into enormous toilets - and fat tourist are to blame.

SAN ONOFRE: "The state parks are installing bigger toilets to accommodate the increasing size of tourists butts," says Adrian Greenbaum of People Opposing Outsized Potties (POOP). "As a result, slim people have to perch on the edge of the seat and are in terrible danger of falling into the water and drowning. If you manufacture a toilet the size of a hot tub to cater to big fat kooks, bad things are going to happen." Greenbaum says outsized toilets are being installed in thousands of beaches and campgrounds and to date, more than 200 thin people have fallen off their perch on the seat and plunged into the water. "Thank goodness there have been no fatalities so far," he says. "But it's only a matter of time. A friend of mine was surfing at San Onofre and they had a toilet seat big enough to accommodate three normal people.Unfortunately he fell into the water and accidentally flushed at the same time. 'I could have been swept out to sea,' he told me. 'It was like being caught under the Niagara Falls.' "

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a fascinating revelation indeed. Ranger Ephriam can testify about the old open-pit toilets for women where Camp Pendelton Leathernecks would sneak into the pit, look up at the ladies in tje privacy of their toilet. Truth is stranger than fiction.
Aadrian Greenbaum

Anonymous said...

Although perhaps a FEW stories might be SLIGHTLY modified, Greenbaum is 100% correct about the pit toilets. Hard to believe being printed here, but that is a true story.

Anonymous said...

The over-sized toilets came from the remodeled "BOOM BOOM ROOM" in Laguna Beach and were used by the patrons who liked to share them with others who liked to talk while they did their business.

Moon Phase