NOT AFFLIATED WITH THE SAN ONOFRE SURF/SURFING CLUB
What would happen if you gave a party and nobody showed.
Puttzle showed up at the beach with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down on the log next to Murphy. The confused Murphy kept staring at him and his bulging pockets.Finally, after many such glances from him, he said, "It's golf balls."Nevertheless, Murphy continued to stare at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.After several minutes, not being able to contain his curiosity any longer, he asked,"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENTThe following is an actual question given on a University ofWashington chemistry mid term.The answer by one student was so 'profound' that theprofessor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, whichis, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying i tas well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) orendothermic (absorbs heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs usingBoyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it iscompressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing intime. So we need to know the rate at which souls are movinginto Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I thinkthat we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, itwill not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for howmany souls are entering Hell, let's look at the differentreligions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a memberof their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is morethan one of these religions and since people do not belongto more than one religion, we can project that all souls goto Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we canexpect the number of souls in Hell to increaseexponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of thevolume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order forthe temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, thevolume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls areadded. This gives two possibilities:1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate atwhich souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure inHell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increaseof souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure willdrop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during myFreshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before Isleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I sleptwith her last night, then number two must be true, and thusI am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozenover. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell hasfrozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any moresouls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven,thereby proving the existence of a divine being whichexplains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Mr.Steak I agree with your choices of the "Hall of Shame" but don't you think we should include some Mexican surfers,since afterall, they are such an integral part of our community? Geraldo Lopez and Rob Machado don't count. Did Henry Alfaro Surf? Elroy knows his stuff,from the Boyle Heights Pachucos To the Los Angeles Seals.
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