Friday, February 05, 2010

TOUGH TOTEMS

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy, giant, steaming, massive, dump. Not again. Rabbi, get it fixed, please.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/user/tubesteakmalibu

a train going into a tunnel is like a penis said...

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
that we're married".

"Wow! That's a great idea!", he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

Anonymous said...

Precautionary move, SANO shut down, road closed again. Giant storm will hit shortly; no one allowed on unpaved road.

Anonymous said...

They shut 'er down at noon. Dirt road impassible.

Anonymous said...

finally on Face Book, check me out.
under San Onofre king. thanks

patrick winekamper said...

tube have you sold out
and joined the san-o days team

Dr. Ralph said...

Dear diary, what a day it's been.
Dear diary, it's been just like a dream.
Woke up late. Wasn't where I should have been.
For goodness sake what's happening to me.
Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.

It was cold outside my door.
So many people by the score.
Rushing around so senselessly.
They don't notice there's people like me.
Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.

They don't know what they're playing.
They've no way of knowing what the game is.
Still they carry on doing what they can.
Outside me, yours truly, dear diary.

It's over. Will tomorrow be the same?
I know that they're really not to blame.
If they wern't so blind then surely they'd see.
There's a much better way for them to be.
Inside me, yours truly, dear diary.
...

Somebody exploded an H-bomb today.
But it wasn't anyone I knew.

Anonymous said...

Dr.Ralph,you went out and bought a copy of "Gidget's Diary" didn't you. BTW, where'd you get it.

Anonymous said...

Saturday, San Onofre dirt road
closed due to inclement weather. No date for reopening. Doheny
State Park open 0600, no line. Will Rodgers State Beach open. Swami's open 0600. San Onofre CLOSED.

Loggerfield said...

Do you know why there is no line at Doheny? Well, I'll tell you why. Who wants to go sit in aparking lot and listen to cars roaring past at 50 mph and then stare at a flat ocean without a wave in sight! " Oh, look at that boat go by, I sure wish I was sailing away". Give me a break. Then you have tens of thousands seagulls circling like buzzards waiting for the next homeless guy to keel over so they peck his eyeballs out. Not to mention the stench of the foul water and those cops down there make the rangers at San Onofre look like Mayberry.Breaker breaker,whats your 10-40 good buddy.I hope you have your Good Sam club decal on you Winnebago.

Dr. Ralph said...

Anon #6 you really don't know where that's from?

Rabbi Surfer said...

Aww, loggerheadm don't you mean
10 20?

Anonymous said...

Blown out, unpaved road toll booth unattended and unavailable, bad chop, park in Edison parking lot only, lower temporary parking shut down, no alcohol, firewood for sale cheap cash and carry.

jed said...

Maybe 10-40 means where's the 40 ouncer of colt 45

WHITE TRASH said...

We are distraught over the recent earthquake that hit Haiti causing the estimated deaths of up to 100,000 Haitians. We are asking the US government to donate 100,000Negros to replace them as quickly as possible with an additional 50,000 on standby for immediate exportation. Then and only then can we guarantee that Haiti will continue to be the poorest nation in the western hemisphere.

Please urge your city to donate and donate early as the need is real and the need is now!




Thank you,


The American Negro Replacement Foundation creating poverty around the world for 200 years.

3225 W. 54th

Washington, DC 55679

The Moody Blues said...

ON THE THRESHOLD OF A DREAM

DR. WIZZARD said...

FROM DR.RALPH'S BOOK OF LITTLE KNOWN FACTS:

If you lie on you back, and look out towards the blue sky, fix your eyes on a single spot and try not to move them, you can tell the state of various things going on in your own eyeballs.

Now, most people already know about "floaters", those broken off bits of capillary that float around in the vitreous humour (EDIT: not aqueous humour) , but this isn't about them. What you can see if you let your eyes relax, is very small white dots travelling across your vision in tortuous pathways (everywhere but the exact center of where you are looking at). If you wait and resist the temptation to try and look at them directly, you'll see additional white dots eventually following these same paths.

What you are seeing are individual white blood cells, moving across the capillaries in front of your retina. They reflect a small amount of reflected light (reflected from your retina then back at it again) because they have a nucleus and DNA, whereas red blood cells do not. The blue background is not strictly necessary, but makes them easier to see.

Anonymous said...

Dr.Wizard, And?

Anonymous said...

Best guess for San Onofre Surftider State Beach. She'll be shut down at least until next Wedcnesday. All other State Beaches open from Zuma to Imperial, all paved. Drive right in. San Onofre flooded, dirt road flooded and undrivable.

Anonymous said...

Awfully choppy wind howling from South, all waves crumb ling no shape, uneven, we're all going home once we make to the van parked on the Marine base only.SANO closed.

Moon Phase