Friday, May 19, 2006

From the office of The blog monitor

Lesson 1: I'm baaaaccckkkk.

Lesson 2: The blog monitor knows a lot more than people think.

Lesson 3: Keep your opinions to yourself.

Discussion is now encouraged.

38 comments:

puttzle said...

Oh no, not again.

JACK SCHNITTZ said...

SO what, YOU DON'T KNOW SCHITT, ANYWAYS

Anonymous said...

Go away. this was a really fun site without you. you must drive a corvette and have a small D__K

one who knows said...

To anonymous,
I happen to know that none of what you said is true.

Anonymous said...

I also think that you don't know jack shit. F off.

murphy said...

Well Well Well, mister The Blog Monitor, you really have balls to come and visit us again! Remember this:

Lesson 1: You STINK!

Lesson 2: You SUCK!

Lesson 3: The barer of bad news, sometimes gets SHOT! "MURPHY"

The blog monitor said...

Murphy,

Lesson 1: Smell me later.

Lesson 2: "YOU SUCK"? You can do better than that.

Lesson 3: Letting your temper get the best of you is unhealthy.

Anonymous,

Lesson 1: Make sure The blog monitor doesn't know your identity...FYI, he does.

Lesson 2: Fun is as fun does.

Lesson 3: Read what 'one who knows'wrote.

The blog monitor said...

Proof? Are you by chance in the construction industry, anonymous? Hmmm?

Anonymous said...

BM:
Fine, you know what you know. BFD.
Your an a-hole.
Come on down to San_O tomorrow morning. I'm not afraid to tell u face to face, or should I say face to a-hole because that is all you are, one big a-hole.
I'm not afraid if you know who I am or where I work.
Your threats are crap.

You r a gutless small dick a-hole.

With love and affection.

The blog monitor said...

Hello anonymous!

Lesson 1: As mentioned previously, letting your temper get the best of you is unhealthy.

Lesson 2: Keep a fire extinguisher handy, I think I see smoke coming out of your ears.

Lesson 3: I like it here, so I shall stay. After all, as Dee-Lite sang, "Groove is in the Heart".

Judge Judy said...

If this 'anonymous' character was in my courtroom, he'd be in big trouble, mister, such language. You are an angry man, sir.

Anonymous said...

Judy:
you r an idiot.

Judge Judy said...

Bailiff, cite this man for contempt of court!

The blog monitor said...

Anonymous,

No lessons, just a question. You say, and I quote, "Go away. this was a really fun site without you." What do, or what did you contribute to the fun-making?

Anonymous said...

BM:

Si facere, esse in Circus.

Puttzle Fan (formerly a lowly slave in Rome) said...

Now that is f~U~n~n~Y!

Anonymous:
You almost as funny as Puttzel, 'ceptin he delivers a straight line so well. But for an insult, this is really good.

What Anon said, in Latin*, was, roughly,

If I could do that, I'd be in a circus**


Well done, Anonymous.

It works on so many levels. BM calls him out to fight. Anon responds that he doesn't wish to come out, and disrespects BM with a flippant response, akin to the rhino being challenged by the nat to a fight.

BM seeks to challenge Anon's contributions to the blog. Anon tells BM that he is attempting to initiate an argument about something that is insignificant. It is beneath him to discuss what he has contributed, nor does he give a rat's ass for what BM thinks that he, BM, has contributed himself. It's a blog. If it was of real value, if there were contributions of "significance" to discuss, it still just adds up to a blog. Too f~u~n~n~y.

Further, he places the skill of BM (who is calling him out to fight to show who is king of the blog) below that of some generic circus act***, implying that neither of them would be here if they had any "real" abilities (although since it is Anon who knows this, he once again insults BM by pointing out that BM doesn't even know how insignificant he is), and again, it's all over “contributions” to a blog.

No matter how small the pond, some cardinal tetra wants to imagine that he is Moby Dick, relative, of course, to that minuscule pond.

There is more, but to explain further, I am boring those who understand {which I think is most of you} and probably not reaching those that don't anyway. Okay, this was really for BM's reading, because I too think that he is a maroon****.



* apparently English isn't the official language here.

**although he capitalized "circus," he made it clear by saying that it is "a" circus, not "the" Circus, which still would have carried a very funny double meaning, though a bit more meanspirited than his choice of "a" circus. Instead, he concocts a brew that boils up to the brim with just the right mix of humor, disrespect, and insult.

***this is also a play on earlier posts that called BM either butt monkey or blog monkey --- monkey...circus...get it? Sorry Puttzel, but I may have to also be a minor fan of Anonymous,foul language or no -- and maybe in light of his witty Latin post, the cloak of vulgarity can be thrown aside.

****not a typo, BM, but rather, a play on words and spellings. You understand... Maroon: a person who is stranded; e.g., "when the tide came in he was a maroon out there." -- i.e., the tide (in the person of Anonymous) came in, and you are marooned. Of course, it also calls you a "moron," in the context of which it was delivered. I'll skip defining "moron" for you.

bastard son of Dingo said...

Puttzel Fan:

Thanks for the tranlation, but your explanation of the rest of what the post meant left my head spinning.

child of Zion said...

Puttzle Fan:
Yeah.
Know your audience.
Shorten your posts.
Simple insults work better.

brainiac said...

Puttzle fan:
You are putting way to much into this.
Don't write a couple of hundred words to explain five words by someone else.
But thanks for the translation.

Anonymous:
I too think BM* is an idiot, but speak English. Sheese.

*Yes, we all get it.
BM = Bowel Movement,
you are calling him a piece of shit,
rather than blog monitor. Okay, you're clever, and still vulgar too. But speak English.

The blog monitor said...

Let me say this about that.

I see one inaccuaracy, The blog monitor NEVER called out anonymous to fight, rather it was the other way around. The blog monitor is a pacifist, through and through.

puttzle said...

This just keeps getting weirder! Puttzle fan, that was, if not the best, one of the best comments, no, it's one of the best postings ever to appear on this blog!

With that in mind, why don't you click on PUTTZLE on the main page, find my email link and shoot me an email. You may be a person we would be interested in having join our merry band. I like your work! I do have an inclination as to your identity, but I have been wrong before and I'll be wrong again...for all I know you may be The blog monitor disguising yourself.

BM must be french said...

Sat May 20, 3:00 AM ET

LONDON (AFP) - The French have been voted the world's most unfriendly nation by a landslide in a new British poll published. They were also voted the most boring and most ungenerous.

A decisive 46 percent of the 6,000 people surveyed by travellers' website Where Are You Now (WAYN) said the French were the most unfriendly nation people on the planet, British newspapers reported.

The blog monitor said...

Lesson 1: The blog monitor is most certainly NOT FRENCH! The blog monitor is American, and legal.

Lesson 2: The blog monitor IS most certainly friendly.

Lesson 3: OK, maybe The blog monitor IS boring, but The blog monitor IS generous.

Uncle Albert said...

BM:

Quite whining. You did call him out. He trumped you. Instead of emphasizing your defeat, get over it. Even Anonymous says it’s just a blog.

Me, I’m joining the circus.

:)


/

Puttzel fan said...

Puttzel:

There are no real secrets here.
We know who he is.

But what does the "Q" in Q Ball stand for? said...

Puttzel:

There are no real secrets here.
We know who he is.

Mingo said...

Puttzel:

There are no real secrets here.
We know who he is.

Parry Hotter said...

Puttzel:

There are no real secrets here.
We know who he is.

u know who said...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. -- Groucho Marx

Blog Monitor 2.0 said...

Q = Queer

Groucho Marx said...

What I actually said was:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

But when I Google it, I get "no matches" said...

Puttzel:

There are no real secrets here.
We know who he is.

Anonymous said...

Thanks guys. I laughed so hard I nearly drowned in my own tears.

Anonymous said...

That was not me.

puttzle said...

Why does everyone spell my name wrong?

(The real) Puttzle Fan said...

I was going to reply, but I see that "I" already posted at 11:00 AM, yet surprisingly "I" don't remember being here at that time, nor does "my" reply make sense to me.
Probably BM. Who knows. Who cares.

And I think it's "Puttzle," not "Puttzel."

Movie nut said...

I know I saw this movie, but it is worth watching again.

Reo Hondo said...

Bar keep, fresh horses for my men and whisky all around.

Moon Phase