Thursday, June 01, 2006

Framed

I've been framed and defamed. I did not abduct Murphy, whoever he is, as I have never met him. I hold no animosity toward Puttzle, Dingo, nor Dr. Ralph, but Murphy can read the message contained in my picture.

I have been fishing in the mountains of Montana, I don't even live anywhere near you people, I had nothing to do with any of this 'abduction' nonsense. Maybe it was aliens.

16 comments:

Oh-nonymous said...

If you do not know Murphy, how do you know his political views?*


*that is, how do you know he leans to the right?

Sydney Carton, Esq. said...

Murphy Escapes,
Pillsbury Doughboy kidnapped

In a brazen act of culinary-political terrorism, masked intruders armed with butter knives kidnapped the Pillsbury Doughboy from the heavily guarded, and secret, Pop "n" Fresh compound at the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station, California, only hours after local culinary celebrity, Murphy, escaped from his own abduction.

No group has claimed responsibility for the abduction of the Doughboy, the cherubic, flour-white baking industry icon who is the sole heir to the vast Pillsbury fortune. But a ransom note scrawled in chocolate frosting at the scene demanded that four dozen unmarked fudge brownies and $50 million be deposited in a Danish bank account.

The FBI reportedly is investigating several leads -- including whether Pillsbury archrival Duncan Hines is in any way involved. According to Murphy, "the Doughboy was in possession of a new secret recipe for a no-calorie bundt cake at the time he was snatched."

According to an anonymous FBI informant known only as John Dough, other possible suspects include Betty Crocker, a Pillsbury subsidiary whose own line of mouth-watering baked goods was often overshadowed by the ubiquitious Doughboy. Federal investigators are also looking into a possible connection between the Pillsbury kidnapping and the nearby heist of an armored Brink's truck filled with dough.

The only witness to the abuduction was the recently escaped Murphy, who reportedly saw a dark, late-model sedan racing away from the Pillsbury compound and thought he heard plaintive, high-pitched squeals of "Hoo, hoo!" coming from inside the vehicle.

HEAVENS ABOVE said...

Every time I see Murphy at the beach, he's staring skyward. Perhaps he is waiting for the mothership.

Aunt Jemimah said...

You know, I've never seen the Pillsbury doughboy and Murphy together. Makes you wonder....

Perry Mason said...

Could Murphy really be "Murphy the Muffin Man? Oh my god! If Murphy was the last one to see the "Pillsbury Doughboy", and could possibly be "Murphy the Muffin Man, maybe he's also "The Blog Monitor"! You don't suppose he faked his abduction so he could kidnap the Doughboy without anyone being the wiser! What an evil evil plot!

murphy said...

I'm innocent I tell you! Yes its true I do not like the Doughboy, but only because he's been trying to come between me and Sara Lee! Sara is the only one who calls me "Murphy the Muffin Man", because she knows how much I love her Muffins! (her buns aren't bad either)Maybe the Doughboy is pointing a finger at Murphy to make Sara Lee give her cheese cake only to himself!

murphy said...

Wait a minute! This post is not from the REAL The Blog Monitor! It's a fraud! I'll bet it is the Doughboy trying to cast a shadow of evil on Murphy! Will the real The Blog Monitor please help me out! Your the only one who can save me from becoming an outcast! Pleae help me, PLEASE PLEASE OH MY GOD PLEASE!!!!

Anonymous said...

BM:

Why are you trying to blame the poor undocumented workers from Mexico for abducting Murphy?

The blog monitor said...

There is only one The blog monitor, and it is I.

Lesson 1: Don't bash The blog monitor then ask for his help.

Lesson 2: Murphy is not The blog monitor, but he may be The Pillsbury Doughboy, therefore he is evil.

Lesson 3: I'm going back to my fishing.

Maveus Beacom said...

BM:

u were more impressive when you usedt good English.

The blog monitor said...

Mavis Bacon

Hostess Ho Ho' said...

Ha-Ha- Ha-Ha. Belly laugh. Thanks guys, I needed that.

murphy said...

Thanx The Blog Monitor, I am happy to know I'm not crazy! What do we do now? Its seems we have a fake The Blog Monitor hacking in and posting as if he were you! This one doesn't come off as such a BIG A-HOLE as YOU though!

The blog monitor said...

No, there is just little ole me, The blog monitor, no fake one.

Anonymous said...

Could I have a little quiet please?

I'm trying to enjoy a Mavis Bacon Lettuce and Cheese Sandwich.

Mo-Not-onymous said...

WhAT, NO TOMATO?

Moon Phase