Saturday, June 17, 2006

Dingo Arrested. Held Without Bail.

Dingo has been arrested and is being held under armed guard at Camp Pendleton. Rumors at the military base say that the arrest is related to the death of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Nothing is known as to the charges because the arrest was made under a sealed warrant by Homeland Security, who have since handed Dingo over to the USMC Military Police.

I will be representing him at an emergency after-hours hearing at the Federal Courthouse. The major goal will be to prevent him from being transported to a foreign detention center for questioning, which is what usually happens once someone arrested in this fashion is transferred to a military base. It is impossible to do anything more for him right now and we will not be permitted to learn what the charges are for some time, if we are ever able to learn what the charges are. This is not your grandfather's legal system anymore.

41 comments:

abby hoffman said...

FREE DINGO!
FREE DINGO!
FREE DINGO!

Titsonymous said...

Great picture.

Assonymous said...

Dingo: You should use the picture as your avatar.

Maxwell Smart said...

Dingo

You are only the second celebrity that I have seen take a good mug shot.

one of Dingo's neighbor said...

He was always a quiet sort. Kept mostly to himself. Not the kind of guy you would suspect of anything.

Crocodile Dundee said...

Are you sure he hasn't just gone on walk about?

mime said...

" "

Adolph Hitler said...

How could this happen in America?

Terry Beard said...

Mind if I get a beer from your cooler while you're out surfing?

Dustin Diamond said...

I realy do pack 10 inches.

Jennifer Aniston said...

One finds out how few friends they really have once they're arrsted.

Paul Ruben said...

He's innocent I tell you. He was at the movies with me.

Shut up Diamond said...

This actually highlights a serious problem in America.

Bill Gates said...

I knew the internet would get him into trouble.

F. Lee Bailey said...

How much dough is Dingo paying you to represent him?

Maury Polvich said...

The children.
Has anyone thought about the children?
Shouldn't our focus be on the children?

the muffin man said...

Yeah, if he has a bunch of dough he can't explain, maybe that explains why the Pillsbury Dough Boy's funeral was closed casket!

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize Dingo was so tall.

Barney Fife said...

Quick.
Call San Clemente CSI.

Bill Clinton said...

No matter what, don't give a DNA sample.

Randy Jackson said...

Dingo: I'm here for you, dog.

Lassie said...

Dingo: I'm here for you too, dog.

Fred Hopkins said...

Has anyone thought of contacting Amnesty International?

Garfield said...

I'm not here for you, dog.

Anonymous said...

Would that be the ASPCA division of Amnesty International?

Bush Supporter said...

Arrested and held under secret charges without bail. That kinda thing can't happen.

Hail Der Bush said...

Shut the hell up.
Do you want Fatherland Security coming down on us?
You won't think it's so funny when they come knocking.

Sandy Beach said...

BREAKING NEWS.... DINGO IS ON THE RUN!!!
Word has it, Dingo outwitted his captors in a ruse. While napping in his detention cell, awaiting transfer to GC, he kept one eye open. While his two human gaurds played with their German Sheppard, Dingo grabbed some camo make-up, and changed his markings to, yep, you gussed it, a German Sheppard. Meantwhile he found some old camo clothes on the floor, slipped into them and then waited for the gaurd rotation. The two new jarheads, fresh off a 3 day pass to San 'O (you know who they are), we're just showing up, and the outgoing crew, particularly the Sargent, said "Listen Up!!! Lance Corperal Pile - I don't want to see anyone come in or go out of this jail house! Do you hear me?!" And this is where Dingo made his escape. Unwittingly, the new gaurds didn't see anyone, but they found a nice cuddly German Shepard in the Cell, who really needded to go pee. So they let him out on the base. News has it Dingo is now headed to his "favorite spot", driving a white van he stole from the chow-hall.

Sussudio said...

So maybe the Pillsbury Doughboy was a Muslim and that's why they buried him so quickly, so what should I care? He looks like a foreigner to me.

Sydney Carton, Esq. said...

F. Lee:

You said it better than I ever could:

"I get paid for seeing that my clients have every break the law allows. I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men. But the guilty never escape unscathed. My fees are sufficient punishment for anyone."
~~ F. Lee Bailey

Paul Carter said...

. . . and in a related story, BK's van missing.

Bambi Bembenek said...

RUN, DINGO, RUN!

Charles Darnay said...

Headline* News:

Sydney Carton, Esq. implicated in escape of Dingo.

*Sorry, all you get is the headline.

F. Lee Bailey said...

RUN, SYDNEY, RUN!

CNBC said...

BREAKING NEWS:
Dingo is still on the loose following his escape. Camp Pendleton is in full lock down. San Onofre is closed. All vehicles traveling on the San Diego Freeway (I-5) between San Clemente and Oceanside are being searched. Traffic has showed to a crawl. Travelers are warned not to pick up hitchhikers in Orange or San Diego Counties until Dingo is captured. Residents of both counties are advised to keep their door and windows locked.

Anonymous said...

Godo God.
Is he safe?

Anonymous said...

Great photo.

Joltin' Joe said...

Say it aint so-o, Ding-o.

ice man said...

Cool story and follow up.

critic said...

Super photo!

I need to know said...

Did BK get his van back?

Moon Phase