Friday, June 16, 2006

Pillsbury Dough Boy Dies Suddenly

Rancho Sante Fe, CA (UPI) Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly, most recently when brought in for questioning by police in San Clemente, California. He was 76.

Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, Captain Crunch, and Maureen McCormick -- best remembered as "Marsha" in "The Brady Bunch" television series, who co-starred with Dough Boy in his first television commercial.

The grave site was piled high with flours. As longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Dough Boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Although Dough Boy was already 35 when he started his career in show business, he rose quickly. His later life was filled with turnovers. He was never considered a "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Dough Boy lost a 15-year legal battle to profits from the movie "Ghostbusters." He had been digitally replaced by the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man by means of post-production special effects, months after Dough Boy had originally been filmed in the role. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was even still, as a crusty old man, considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he had fallen. Dough Boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty.

12 comments:

small fry said...

It seems like yesterday that we hung out together.

sweet pea said...

He was like a second father to me.

Hungry Jack said...

We had some good times man.

long time reader, first time poster said...

You are a worthy addition to the blog Sydney.

Wonder Bread Man said...

He lent me a lot of dough over the years. The yeast I can do is pay back his family.

Abe Sutton said...

I will pinch a loaf in his memory.

Hot N. Fresh, the bastard son of Pop said...

To me, he will always be "Pop."

The Pope said...

They buried him so quickly. He must have been Muslim. Their religion requires burial within 24 hours.

mary said...

really quite sad.

Sara Lee said...

There was always something flakey about the Dough Boy.

shake and bake said...

oh god no how why

snaggle puss said...

I knew it couldn't be true. The Dough Boy lives!

Moon Phase